Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: This show is not a substitute for professional counseling and no relationship is created between the show host or guests and any listener. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, we encourage you to contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective counties crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
[00:00:41] Speaker B: Hello everyone and welcome back to the Bama Balance Podcast. Real stories about college men's mental health. And I gotta say, guys, this was.
It was. It was a time on Saturday.
Was it a great game?
[00:00:55] Speaker C: What a game.
[00:00:56] Speaker B: Good game. But I was woo. I was scared for a minute there.
[00:00:58] Speaker C: I've never been so nervous for a game as I was for the Vanda game.
[00:01:05] Speaker D: I mean, tip my hat to them. When have we ever had to deal with that type of, you know.
[00:01:13] Speaker B: Last year.
[00:01:14] Speaker D: Yeah, other than last year.
[00:01:15] Speaker C: But I was a nervous for last year.
[00:01:17] Speaker D: I couldn't tell you.
I don't think in my lifetime played them here. And I've had a right little thought in my mind that said maybe this could go the wrong way.
[00:01:27] Speaker B: We might lose this. Yeah, right.
[00:01:30] Speaker C: Honestly, I was so nervous that I checked how many steps I had that day. I was over 11,000 steps, most of which I took around Brian Dennis, just pacing, walking around, going to different sections because I didn't want to jinx us. I was so superstitious at one point that I felt like if I stayed in one place too long, you know, I jinx us. Or I needed to shift around because, you know, there was an interception or we missed a field goal and I needed to change spots because I don't want to jinx us.
[00:02:02] Speaker D: Just keep moving.
[00:02:02] Speaker C: That's what I thought. That's what I thought. And then I found myself like in the corner of where in the lower bowl where Vanderbilt fans were sitting.
And that's when Pavia's fumble happened. So I thought I'd stand right here.
[00:02:21] Speaker D: I would too.
[00:02:22] Speaker C: And so I stayed right there up until the end of the half where we tied it up. And I thought, okay, this is working.
And then at halftime, I found myself like around our side of the lower bowl and we were doing well. So I thought, okay, I feel good. Maybe I can move around a little more. By the end, I found myself in. In the student section again. It's a heck of a game. It was awesome, man.
[00:02:46] Speaker D: And it makes the week so much Better.
[00:02:48] Speaker C: Doesn't it though?
I mean, breathing a sigh of Mondays, you know, Breathing a sigh of relief. No. For Brooks's well being. I'm glad that we keep on winning for our well being.
I know. Edward, you're looking kind of haggard today.
[00:03:04] Speaker B: Yeah. No, just.
Yeah. Had to work this morning a little bit earlier than usual, but you know, it's all good. It's all good. We're soldiering through. It feel more like Monday than it has in a minute.
[00:03:17] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:03:18] Speaker B: Like most Mondays, I'm.
[00:03:20] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:03:20] Speaker B: Doing great.
[00:03:21] Speaker C: You're doing okay.
[00:03:21] Speaker B: This one. Oh, it was just getting up this morning was a struggle.
[00:03:26] Speaker C: There was, there was a lot going on this past weekend. I mean there was parent. It was family weekend. It was a game day. It was just a lot.
[00:03:33] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:03:34] Speaker C: This weekend. And so it was all, it was all good stuff. I'm looking forward to.
So next on the docket is Missouri. That's, that's the next game.
[00:03:43] Speaker D: Saturday.
[00:03:43] Speaker C: Saturday.
[00:03:44] Speaker D: This will come out after we've played that game.
[00:03:47] Speaker C: That's right.
I like our chances.
[00:03:51] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:03:51] Speaker D: I think, I mean I like our chances against anybody at this point. I feel, not saying that we're going to go in there and beat whoever.
[00:04:00] Speaker C: We play, but I feel more confident.
[00:04:01] Speaker D: I feel like this team could stick around with anybody.
[00:04:03] Speaker C: Right. I saw something maybe, maybe it was on Instagram. But I was also thinking the same thing I mentioned to.
I had breakfast with Max, Max Brown this morning.
[00:04:17] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:04:17] Speaker C: We were talking about the game and I said I would love to see Kaden Proctor get a Heisman nod or something when they handed him that ball.
[00:04:28] Speaker D: Right.
I'm telling you, he's quick.
[00:04:31] Speaker C: Let me tell you, he's a big.
[00:04:32] Speaker D: Joker and he's fast.
[00:04:34] Speaker C: I would not want to get in his way.
[00:04:36] Speaker D: No.
[00:04:36] Speaker B: Heck no.
[00:04:36] Speaker D: Absolutely not.
[00:04:37] Speaker B: I mean that's what, £360 as a big dude. But like it's not, it's not slow.
[00:04:45] Speaker C: No, he's quick.
[00:04:45] Speaker B: He's quick. So like that much, that much mass coming at someone at any kind of speed. I mean, I'm standing in that box.
[00:04:53] Speaker E: Try to tackle him.
[00:04:55] Speaker C: I would not want to be in his path.
[00:04:57] Speaker D: I'm all for it.
[00:04:58] Speaker B: Keep giving it.
[00:04:58] Speaker D: Would it be good if he can do it? Keep doing it.
[00:05:01] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:05:01] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:05:01] Speaker C: And what, and what an option that we have in that. Right. Because we could, you know, Max and I were talking about, we could he, we could fake it to him and sort of kind of do an end around play that way. I mean just, it just offers us so many more options in Those situations, I think.
[00:05:17] Speaker B: 100%.
[00:05:18] Speaker C: He's awesome. He's awesome. Oh, yeah, He's. It's like watching refrigerated Perry again with the Bears.
[00:05:26] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:05:27] Speaker B: Right?
[00:05:27] Speaker C: Yeah, but he's quicker. He's much.
[00:05:29] Speaker E: Oh, 100.
[00:05:30] Speaker B: I agree, 100%.
Well, to get on the topic of.
[00:05:35] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:05:35] Speaker B: What we're actually here for.
[00:05:37] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:05:37] Speaker C: Sorry.
[00:05:38] Speaker B: I mean, I love football so much, like, as much as anyone. But today we have a very, very special guest. We're going to talk about his kind of mental health journey through college and just more. Just try to bring more awareness to this new. I mean, not really new idea, but this idea that we keep learning more about and that is like men's mental health. So stick around with us. We'll be right back with the Mammoth Balance.
[00:06:23] Speaker D: Wvuafm Tuscaloosa.
[00:06:26] Speaker A: This show is not a substitute for professional counseling and no relationship is created between the show hosts or guests and any listener. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, we encourage you to contact the UA Counseling center at.
If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective counties crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
[00:07:07] Speaker C: Welcome back, everybody, to this first segment of the Bama Balance. And we're happy to have as our guest today Henry Glover. Henry, welcome to the podcast. It's great having you here.
[00:07:17] Speaker E: Yeah, thank you very much. This is really a great privilege. I'm super happy to be here.
[00:07:20] Speaker C: Oh, no, it's great to have you here, too.
I know Henry had contacted me and eager about being here on the podcast. And so we met and we're glad we could get your schedule. Why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself?
[00:07:33] Speaker E: Yeah, absolutely. So I'm a senior from Norfolk, Virginia, studying business management here, hoping to work in the maritime industry after school back home in Virginia. The Port of Virginia is a very big driver of some of the global commerce there on the coast.
You know, the dream port, definitely, probably the port of Charleston, South Carolina. That's such a beautiful place to be. And just kind of working on those goals, you know, kind of talking to people, networking, you know, doing the very best I can with that.
[00:07:58] Speaker C: Right.
[00:07:59] Speaker E: I've got a little sister who's a sophomore in school right now at the university. No, she's not. She's. She's at Elon University in North Carolina. So she's a little bit closer to home here on Campus. I've got myself involved in a couple different things. The Greek Ambassadors giving tours of fraternity and sorority houses, some executive board leadership with Sigma Phi Epsilon, and then some student government work in the lobby board. So those have been really, really cool experiences that, you know, it gives you work and things to do on campus, but you develop skills you'll take with you the rest of your life, without a doubt.
[00:08:30] Speaker C: No, that sounds great. And again, I appreciate you reaching out, joining us here today. One of the things that, you know, Henry mentioned was wanting to share his mental health journey.
And as Edward mentioned earlier, it's one of those things where that's what we want to do. We want to sort of draw the circle wider so that there are others on campus who want to share their experiences regarding their mental health journeys, what they've experienced, what they've been through. We had a couple last year with, with Tyler Lee and Carter Scott. Matter of fact, Carter wants to come back on before he wraps up.
[00:09:09] Speaker D: Yeah, that'd be awesome.
[00:09:13] Speaker C: So I love the fact that folks are wanting to be a part of the dialogue or wanting to be part of sharing their journey with us and with our listeners as well.
So with that, Henry, how would you.
I'll let you go ahead and just start off in terms of how would you sort of best describe or best characterize your mental health journey here at the university?
[00:09:39] Speaker E: Yeah, yeah, I think so.
Let's see. So, Well, I guess I'll start by saying that, you know, the best way to go about something like this with men's mental health is talking. Right. You know, it's kind of the stigma that you bottle it all up, you know, don't say anything, just kind of power through. But, you know, in the long term, that's not really going to do you much. You have to speak out, you have to talk to people, you have to find community. I think that's the way that you heal and get better, you know, with whatever that you're going through. And, you know, having a podcast like this is a fantastic step. You know, I think that based on all these topics that you guys are going over, there's at least one person out there listening that connects with it in some way or fashion. And, you know, it makes you feel a sense of, I'm not alone in this, and there's somebody else that is having a similar experience to me, and it makes it not quite so hard to have people going through it with you. So I think that's. That's a really impactful thing on this topic.
I Guess starting back to freshman year, like I said, I'm from Virginia and it's not all that common for folks to come down here to Alabama. And I was one of two students in my graduating class that came down here.
The other wasn't really doing any of the same coursework that I was.
And so we didn't really cross paths very much. So it was pretty much just me that I knew coming down here. And while that's exciting and fun and new and, you know, a cool sounding experience, it was kind of tough to be paired up with a random roommate.
You know, I live in a traditional dorm, so I didn't really have any of my own space. It was just me and the other guy, you know, sharing that bunk bed style. And that's, that's a very easy way to get drowned in all of what's going on here. I mean, as of Today, we're a 40,000 something student university.
[00:11:12] Speaker C: That's 42, 43.
[00:11:14] Speaker E: That's a whole lot of people. And it's very easy to kind of get swept away and, you know, be it kind of a sense of loss, like I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know where I'm supposed to be. I'm not sure where my community is. After coming from a pretty tight knit high school. I mean, I had, I had 54 students in my senior class. We knew each other very well and there was a pretty strong sense of relationship in my class and you know, to come from that to such a whirlpool of people and, you know, social aspects, it was, it took a while for me to kind of get my feet on the ground and that, that develops a lot of anxiety. It really does. I think that's kind of one of the main things that we'll focus on today. Anxiety of, you know, I'm not sure what tomorrow looks like. I'm not sure how I'm going to feel tomorrow. Is every day going to be this much of a struggle? You know, it's really, really tough. And you know, I've got two parents at home who are so excited about me coming to this university. And they're all invested in Alabama now because their son go.
You know, sometimes you're kind of lying a little bit about how things are going. Yeah, you know, I met some people, you know, today was good. I've got something to go to tonight. Knowing you're really not telling them the complete truth and that's, that's a difficult thing to do.
So it definitely took a While for me to kind of get my grounds and figure out what I was doing and kind of get, get in a groove here. And I'm glad I stuck through with it because I think there is a large amount of students who don't return that freshman year after, you know, getting caught up and, and not having a good friend group or not having things to do. And it takes a lot of patience and practice.
You know, it took a lot of diligence within me to go work and find that sense of belonging. And, you know, I did it by trying to join organizations.
Even as little as going up to somebody random the dining hall and saying, you know, can I sit with you and hang out and talk to you? And that's not an easy thing to do.
I think that that develops a lot of communication skills and, you know, a lot of grit to get yourself out of a, you know, a bad situation.
So, you know, I definitely still struggle with some stuff nowadays, for sure.
You know, between having a lot of tasks to do, trying to figure out what this post graduation looks like for me and you know, like I told you, we're at this university, it is a social monstrosity, I think, is what I told you.
There is so much going on and so much to do. And, you know, that fear of missing out can definitely become prevalent.
[00:13:28] Speaker C: Okay, I was wondering about that.
[00:13:29] Speaker E: I think that's where a lot of that stems from. You know, you got all these people talking about what's going on later and you don't really have a plan yet. And it's kind of hard to interject yourself into that.
[00:13:39] Speaker C: Sure.
[00:13:39] Speaker E: And so that, that can be tough sometimes for sure. And then sometimes it can just be general anxiety. You know, I just the other night I was, I was laying down to go to bed, very tired. But once I laid down, all the thoughts started, you know, all the intrusive stuff, all the things to worry about, all the what ifs. I end up tossing and turning for two or three hours before I can actually go to bed.
So that, that's a very tough thing. And anxiety to me can be a couple different things. And, you know, it's, it's all the same. No matter how you put it. There's no level to it. It's still anxiety, but it can be, oh, I'm worried about this test and, you know, I want to pass this class. It can also be, I'm having a full body panic attack and I might need to call 911, that kind of thing.
So it comes in all shapes and forms. And it's different for everybody, but that's kind of what I've experienced up to this point with it.
[00:14:24] Speaker C: Yeah, no, I appreciate you sharing that, Henry, because one, it's not easy to share as you did, and also two, it's, you know, particularly with anxiety. One of the things we know with college students is that anxiety is the number one kind of presenting concern for a number of our college students, certainly here at the counseling center.
And as we talk about the different forms that anxiety can take, I was wondering, you know, for college men, is it different in terms of the anxieties that are. That, you know, that you face. You know, we've talked about the anxiety of missing out or the anxiety about not finding your sense of belonging, but it also feels like, you know, there's, there's this anxiety about also being anxious. Like college men aren't anxious. I don't know if you kind of resonate with that, Brooks or Edward.
[00:15:21] Speaker D: I think the funny thing is, and as you were talking, Henry, I was thinking about this. You know, you talked about your freshman year anxiety, and I can go back.
[00:15:29] Speaker E: And look at mine.
[00:15:31] Speaker D: But it's kind of crazy how year to year different things arise and we're stressing about different sorts of things. Now me and you are looking graduation in the face, thinking, oh Lord, like what comes next? You know.
[00:15:44] Speaker C: Right.
[00:15:44] Speaker D: Whereas a freshman, you know, they're trying to find friends and get a good friend group. And that's the crazy thing to me is that, you know, this is stuff you try to beat, but in reality, like it's gonna come back in multiple different ways.
[00:15:58] Speaker B: I mean, yeah, it's, it's a never ending battle. Just so many ways you, you can.
It's not really about trying to beat it or trying to win. It's more so about trying to.
At least I feel like it's trying to manage it or mitigate it. And I guess you could beat it in some ways, but I mean, it's something that's always going to come back. So it's like, how do you respond to that? How do you react to that?
And we talked a little bit about that. I can't remember which episode. There's been a lot at this point.
But I think, yeah, that's kind of.
I agree with Brooks. Like, it's something that, I mean, it has a different face every time it shows up, but it shows up.
[00:16:44] Speaker C: You know, I think that's true. I think that's true.
It'll show up in a different way in a different style. And I know, talking with other students about anxiety in general, there's almost, I don't know if it's an expectation or maybe it is an expectation that they don't experience any anxiety, that going through college is anxiety free. And I don't know that that's the case. There's always going to be stress, there's always going to be worry. But I think when that worry starts to occupy a lot of your time, a lot of your attention, and if it intrudes in things like getting sleep and stuff like that. Is that how you found it to be, Henry?
[00:17:26] Speaker E: Yeah, yeah, I think so. And you mentioned something else that I think is interesting and actually to backtrack a little bit more, I think what you said about the fact that it's never really going to go away, you know, in 10 years it'll be anxiety about something else that I wasn't experiencing now. But I think the way to do it is accept that it may not ever actually go away fully. But what habits can I build to help out when it happens? And I know for me it's hobbies that help for sure.
Playing the guitar is a really big thing for me. If I've got too much going on and I'm too wound up, you know, just kind of pick up and play for a bit and it gets my mind distracted.
Always going to pick up the phone and call my mom.
She's a huge resource for that.
I think sometimes it can also make you more anxious to be around people that don't seem anxious.
[00:18:08] Speaker C: Oh, that's a really cool.
[00:18:09] Speaker E: And you know, you're, you know, you know, whether you're in a fraternity or a club or an organization, you're around people a lot who seem to have it pretty much together or happy and going through the motions and you're inside, you know, kind of battling with something, struggling, I think I can make it very, very difficult for sure. Especially being at such a lively university in total, you know, the excitement between the football games and all the things going on and it makes that really tough to be in a period of struggle to be around so much fun and happiness. So it's a tough thing to deal with. And I think it's about building the right habits.
[00:18:40] Speaker C: It's a real complex, sort of complex experience and an issue and it has so many layers to it that it's sometimes difficult to tease out what's the fear, what's the worry and how can I best sort of manage it. And so, you know, hopefully we'll be able to continue to Explore that in our next segment.
And with that, we'll take a quick break here. This is the BAMA Balance.
[00:19:25] Speaker D: Wvuafm, Tuscaloosa.
[00:19:27] Speaker A: This show is not a substitute for professional counseling, and no relationship is created between the show host or guests and any listener. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, we encourage you to contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective counties, Crisis Service Hot or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
[00:20:07] Speaker D: What's up, guys? We're back with segment two. As we were on the break, Henry made a great point point talking about how you live in the fraternity house. I do as well.
And, you know, 99 of the time, I'm quoting you word for word right now. You know, it's a great, uplifting thing. But that 1% where, you know, you may be battling something different, everybody else feels a different layer, is at least showing that.
[00:20:32] Speaker B: How do you.
[00:20:33] Speaker D: How do you go about, you know, making sure that you don't feel alone during those times when you may feel different than everybody else or, you know, people may seem like they're doing okay and they may be fighting something similar to you?
[00:20:48] Speaker E: Yeah, that's a pretty difficult thing to approach, especially in that specific situation. I'd say for me, I feel pretty lucky to have, I would say, four or five very close friends within that live in the house with me that I feel that I could pull aside at any time and kind of get real with if I needed to.
You know, I don't think that it's the absolute truth that all the fun and all the stuff going on is necessarily authentic, because, like I said, it is hard for people to speak up sometimes. And you don't want to be that guy that brings the vibe down because you know you're battling with something. So it's about really finding those close friends that can be there for you no matter what. And if you're struggling to find that, I think therapy is probably the next best option.
I think I've been recommended better help before.
That's a pretty good, convenient service for a college student to use because that's all virtual. You don't have to, you know, worry about going somewhere in the opposite counseling center as well.
But, yeah, that's a pretty difficult situation to approach, and that's beyond the Greek community. That's absolutely anywhere where you're in a group of people that, you know, tend to be, you know, feeling good and, you know, high up and having a nice time and enjoying themselves. And, you know, it can make yourself feel very, very isolated to be dealing with something in that kind of environment.
[00:22:01] Speaker C: So, Henry, I don't know if this goes through your mind. As you were talking and as Brooks was talking with you, I don't know if this goes through your mind.
[00:22:09] Speaker E: But.
[00:22:12] Speaker B: But.
[00:22:14] Speaker C: I was thinking that if I. If I were Henry, you know, I'm the. I'm the. I'm the VP for.
For membership and. And recruitment and education, for my involvement. I'm involved for sigap, for my fraternity. I'm VP of Education for Greek Ambassadors and sort of lobby. I'm lobby board director for sga. I can. How can I feel anxious?
[00:22:39] Speaker E: Yeah, I mean, I think that that's. That's absolutely an interesting thing to say. And it's. There was somebody who was talking to me the other day, and, you know, they had said, you really look like you got it going on. It all figured out. And they had mentioned that they saw me speaking at something and, you know, mentioned that it was all put together and seemed thorough and thought out. And, you know, like, I really just, you know, couldn't do any wrong. Right. And I had to tell them that's absolutely not the truth. You know, what you see on the outside is so very deceiving as to what's truly going on. And, you know, I mentioned this person, you know, take that for yourself next time that you think that you're not doing enough or that you're not, you know, portraying yourself the right way, because the people that you really think have going on and put together, it's not always totally success, you know, behind that. So it's interesting that you say that, you know, the titles and, you know, the awards and achievements are, you know, don't really mean that much at the end of the day. It's about who I am as a person and what I represent, what I hold and value. And, you know, I can be completely honest and open that I do struggle with stuff very, very often sometimes. And it's difficult and it's hard, but, you know, it's persistence and really just trying your best every day.
[00:23:45] Speaker B: And I think that leads, like, a lot of credence to your point about finding those people, because I know. I mean, that kind of goes along with what you said, how you're like, you're in a situation where it looks like everyone around you is having a Great time. And it's. You know, how often is it that they think that, like you said, like, they think that about you or they think that about someone else?
And I feel like everyone.
I mean, I know. I know I struggle with that so much. Freshman year, it's been like, oh, well, everyone's doing all these different things, like, what do I have to show for my time here? And I think, yeah, like you said, it's a really important thing to remember, one. To have people you can lean on, but also understanding that it's okay to talk about these things. And if you do, chances are someone else will who maybe was perceived as not having those issues. So I think that, to your point, that's huge.
[00:24:35] Speaker C: So in terms of.
[00:24:36] Speaker B: Of.
[00:24:36] Speaker C: In terms of your sort of moments of anxiety, I mean, you and Brooks, what's been your most anxious moment to date from starting here to now?
[00:24:45] Speaker B: I would say probably last October. So about a year ago now, towards the end of. About the middle. The middle of October, I had a friend pass away from suicide.
She was, I mean, family friend of our, like, me and my sisters. Like, we grew up with her.
She was at one point kind of like our babysitter. But it just became so much more for our family, for me, my sisters, my parents. And then she took her own life. And that was in the middle of a semester where I really also was struggling academically. I was thinking I was going to fail all my classes.
It was tough. And I think just being anxious about everything, I'd say that was probably, like, the one moment where I was like, wow, like, I feel beyond overwhelmed.
But I remember in those moments, like, I would, you know, when I would do my best to lean on those around me, like you said, like, you call your mom as one of those, like, ways to just kind of combat and deal with anxiety. I mean, I know I probably called my mom a thousand times last year around this time. And my roommates were great as well.
They were just always there if I needed to talk to anyone. Especially because it's kind of hard during the day.
I mean, yeah, you're with friends or whatever, you kind of put everything else in the back of your mind. You're like, I'm just gonna go throw up my time here.
But I mean, when it gets to that nighttime and everything's winding down, that's when everything kind of starts to come back to you.
So my roommates last year especially were a huge help with that as well. To kind of deal with that.
[00:26:28] Speaker C: That's a lot.
That one time it was.
[00:26:33] Speaker B: It was. It was a lot that.
[00:26:36] Speaker C: I can see how you.
[00:26:38] Speaker E: It was just.
[00:26:38] Speaker B: And on top. I think on top of all that, that was all. There was also a time where I was really.
You know, we talk about faith and spirituality. That was a time where I was also kind of struggling with that as well. I wasn't. You know, I did. I felt unwell and very. In a lot of ways, but, I mean, better off for it. I would.
[00:26:56] Speaker C: I would think, yes, you're. How about for you, bro?
[00:26:59] Speaker D: I think probably. I probably have two moments here that are very similar in nature. Freshman year, right after Christmas break, when we lost our pledge brother to suicide, you know, that was one of those 56 of us come in, we're all best friends riding a high freshman year. Then you lose somebody like that, you know, that wrecks all of us at once.
So then we're all really having to rely on each other.
So that was like a big group one for us. And it was great to have everybody going through the same thing because we could talk about stuff.
But my toughest was probably last semester, I'd say around maybe March, when I. When I changed my major, was having all those, you know, decisions to make and. And all that, and especially knowing that senior year was right here. I've got a year before I graduate and still don't know exactly what I wanted to do at that time. So that was. That was pretty tough. And like you said, I'm a big mom caller, so I call my mom all the time. So she definitely got a lot of phone calls throughout those two. And like y' all said, having good friends, I feel like having a good backbone friend group that. That means the world because you can talk to those guys, you can open up to them, and chances are they. They may or may not know what do to exactly feels like that you're going through. But I guarantee you they've gone through something in similar nature at some point in their life.
[00:28:28] Speaker C: Right. So so much of managing anxiety is making sure that you've got a good circle of friends to be able to lean on and to share kind of your struggles. And more likely than not, they also would have had a similar experience. And, Henry, I don't know, how do you. How did you go about sort of establishing your circle of friends or those that you can lean on?
[00:28:54] Speaker E: Yeah, I think that was. That was kind of a natural thing that took place just kind of through time and through bonding and through hanging out together. And I think from initially opening up for the first time to Them kind of really makes that bond, you know, a true thing.
You know, I don't think it was one specific event.
It definitely took a while and it was definitely something I was looking for. But, you know, you want to make sure you go about that in a natural way and don't, you know, don't try to force those relationships.
But it's a good four or five that I really do count on. And it's a broader network than that. But if I really, really had something that needed to be said, I mean, Mother's probably going to be the first resource always, for sure. She understands like nobody else does. But I feel really lucky and really, really fortunate that I've got those guys around me.
[00:29:40] Speaker C: Right.
As you think about your journey so far, what's been the most surprising thing about it and maybe what. And what's been the most rewarding thing.
[00:29:51] Speaker E: About it and the mental health journey, I'd say the most surprising thing is I think there's always.
There's always more in me than I think there will be. You know, situations that seem horrible and like, there's no way I'll ever get through this.
[00:30:08] Speaker C: Right.
[00:30:08] Speaker E: If I really put my mind to it, I can work my way through it. And it's truly about never giving up. As, you know, cliche and as corny as that sounds, you really gotta just buckle in and not just. Not just push through it and don't think about it. You know, create habits and do constructive things that make you a better person at the end of it, whatever may be, if it's breaking up with a girlfriend or losing somebody close to you, it's about understanding what you're feeling, why you're feeling it, and how to nurse it and get better and be prepared if you have to face it again in the future.
And right now, at 21 years old, is the time to build those habits.
Because if I can get better at that now at this age, I could be much better prepared later on in life. Because like we said about the anxiety, it'll never stop. It's just about how you deal with it. It's going to be the variable.
[00:30:54] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. I'm so glad you said that. Because, you know, what I took away from that statement is being resilient or developing a sense of resilience to address, to overcome those anxieties, those worries and that.
Because they'll always be there. It's. How do we develop those resources that build our resilience, that keep us resilient and that we can share with others as Well, I wrote down something that Luke Dill was a grad student last year. He's since graduated, but he was on our podcast, one of the early episodes. And one of the statements that Luke made, which I thought was interesting because it's kind of a.
A college man's way of finding solutions to anxiety or things of that sort.
[00:31:51] Speaker D: But his.
[00:31:51] Speaker C: But his statement was coming up with logical solutions to emotional problems. Now, Luke is also an engineer, so he sort of comes from that.
[00:32:02] Speaker D: Yeah, I was about to say, I'm.
[00:32:03] Speaker C: Not sure how brains, but it's really interesting the way you kind of talk about keeping things in perspective and also using kind of resources and friends and family to help you gain that perspective. And then from there be able to say, what do I need to do now to address this? And how do I move on and continue to move on, because those situations will continue to present themselves, and how do I need to be prepared and be resilient to.
To meet them head on?
[00:32:35] Speaker E: Yeah, I think in every situation, there's always a bigger picture, and it's very, very easy to get stuck in the moment that you're in right now. And it's important to kind of step back and see things for the broader view.
You know, one thing I like that you said, you know, logical solutions, emotional problems. You know, Luke's words, that's a great thing. And I think that, you know, one thing maybe on a more serious note is to watch out your methods in dealing with those things you want to use, you know, methods that are going to make you better and make you healthier and strong. And, you know, it definitely is, you know, in some people's minds, a first resort to turn to substances to get away from it. And that's. That's an extremely slippery slope. And, you know, always just something to keep an eye on. If there's, you know, a friend or yourself that seems to be, you know, his way of getting out of it, that, you know, you intervene on that probably as soon as possible. But, you know, I think that it makes you a better person, a better man to use, you know, mental training, you know, grounding methods. You know, there's like. Like eight different ways you can breathe a certain way to get yourself out of an anxiety attack. You know, using things like that is the way to make yourself better and be stronger on the end of it.
[00:33:39] Speaker D: I absolutely think what's true that you just said to substances and that sort of thing is a very slippery slope. And I think that gets a lot of people, you know, our age Especially being in college with people having access to those type of things. But how you do deal with these type of problems, like you said, 21's the age to find out how you deal with it for the future. You don't have those problems.
So this has been a great conversation conversation so far. We'll come back to wrap it up in a few minutes. This is the Bambo Balance, wvuafm, Tuscaloosa.
[00:34:26] Speaker A: This show is not a substitute for professional counseling, and no relationship is created between the show hosts or guests and any listener. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are UA student, we encourage you to contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective county's crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
[00:35:07] Speaker B: Hey, everyone, and welcome back to the final segment of our podcast, today of the Bama Balance. And first, I just want to say what a great conversation we've had. This has been.
I mean, one thing I do love about this, this podcast is I never, like, no, like, no episode feels the same when recording.
[00:35:27] Speaker C: Right.
[00:35:27] Speaker B: I mean, we have ones where, you know, we had just lost to Florida State, so you can imagine the vibes then. And then we have ones where, you know, we, I don't know, just so different every time. Like, and today I felt was just. I felt like it was very impactful.
[00:35:41] Speaker C: It was a good one.
[00:35:43] Speaker B: Very glad to have been a part of this conversation. But I'm also just curious what y' all think are just some kind of some key takeaways of this last 30, 40 minutes? Yeah.
[00:35:54] Speaker E: Yeah. I think that, you know, for me, you know, mental health, especially men's mental health, is a very real thing, very prevalent. It's nothing to be ignored. And it's completely okay and understandable to not be okay because, you know, when you speak up, you may find that somebody that you didn't believe at first was struggling actually is. Has been keeping it inside. But, you know, you speaking up and making that first step makes that connection and makes you guys both realize that, you know, it's okay to speak up about it. It's all right to go seek help, and it's all right to go try to make yourself a healthier man.
You know, anxiety won't probably ever go away for me and many other people, but it's about, you know, the habits and the routines and the Methods that you deal with it in a way that make you better at the end of it. And, yeah, I think. I think those are. Those are probably my biggest things.
[00:36:42] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:36:42] Speaker C: Yeah. And again, Henry, I really appreciate you, you know, joining us today, wanting to share your story, your journey. And I can't help but also think of the fact that there are many more college guys out there on our campus who are probably experiencing a similar, if not the exact same kinds of things that you talked about.
And so for them, I know you just kind of went through, you know, what's important to do, but if you were to sit down with one of those guys, what would you tell them that would be helpful? And they're reaching out for help and managing their anxiety?
[00:37:27] Speaker E: Well, I first say I completely get it. I tell them that I'm right there with you, man. I think that that's a first step, is just to know that somebody's got you and somebody's there with you through it.
I think that you. You establish. You establish your bases and know who those people that you can reach out to are, whether it be a parent or a close friend.
And if that's not the route, then go see somebody professional. There are people who are licensed to help you out with this, and they may send you down, you know, the medic route. You may. You may require medication. I was on it for, you know, quite a bit of time, and, you know, I found that it helped me for a bit, and I found myself in a place to get off of it. And I'm sometimes now I think that maybe I should get back on it. You know, it's just kind of what works best for you. And it's just, I keep reiterating, you know, building those healthy habits, find those methods, find those outlets for you. If that outlet is putting in the earbuds and cranking it up to 10, then go do it, man. If it's going out and taking a run or if it's getting into a workout class or something like that, go find those things and go do it. And if you can't find, find that yourself. Ask other people what they're doing and see if that works for you.
[00:38:28] Speaker C: So, you know, one of the things that you also mentioned is this, and we've kind of talked about this as well, is this stigma of seeking help or reaching out for help, which I just didn't even realize it until now. That stigma is in and of itself a worry.
It's also kind of a form of anxiety in some way. How would you talk to somebody about their fear of whatever that stigma might be for them to get some help or reach out for support.
[00:38:58] Speaker E: Yeah, I think it's. It's. It's put the pride away. You know, it doesn't matter if you're struggling. It really doesn't. I think it makes you stronger to say something. I really do. And if it's about the stigma that, you know, the fraternity man is supposed to have it all together and then having a blast and getting himself be ready to graduate, you know, that doesn't necessarily have to be true. You know, it really doesn't. And I think that it's, you know, put that away. Don't worry about the stigma. You got to do it work. Works best for you. And if following the stigma sends you down a spiral and makes you worse off and makes you mentally unwell, then it's not. It's not worth it. You have to break free from that. And I'm a sole advocate. I mean, I will always advocate for that. That stigma should not be a thing. If you're struggling, go reach out and go get help. It's more important.
[00:39:42] Speaker C: Super words. Absolutely. I think. I think. Henry, it's been great having you here today.
[00:39:48] Speaker E: Yeah. Thank you all very much.
[00:39:49] Speaker C: How's it been for you?
[00:39:50] Speaker E: Very good. Now, like I told you, this is the first time ever putting on headphones and being on a podcast, so, you know, always trying new things.
[00:39:56] Speaker C: Did you have any anxiety coming in here about this?
[00:39:58] Speaker E: You know what? Absolutely. I totally did. You know, I didn't really have. I didn't really have much prepared because, you know, like you told me, we just kind of talk and go where the conversation goes and.
[00:40:07] Speaker C: Was I lying?
[00:40:07] Speaker E: No, not at all. Not at all.
[00:40:10] Speaker C: Kind of free willing.
[00:40:11] Speaker E: You know, I get anxiety all the time when it comes to speaking and presenting. Just. Just last night, I had to do a presentation in the student center theater. And, you know, before I took that mic and went on stage, I was sweating, nervous. You know, what if I. What if I blow this? What if I mess it up? What if it doesn't come out right? And, you know, it's. It's a day struggling. I've got no solution right now, but I just kind of keep pushing and trying my best.
[00:40:30] Speaker C: I think the best solution is within you, and we appreciate you sharing that with us today.
[00:40:35] Speaker E: Absolutely.
[00:40:37] Speaker C: Fantastic.
[00:40:39] Speaker B: Again, thank you. We appreciate it. This has been the Bama Balance. Real stories about college men's mental health. I'm Edward Fountain.
[00:40:46] Speaker D: I'm brooks Barbary.
[00:40:47] Speaker C: I'm Dr. Tony Perez and I'm Henry Glover.
[00:40:49] Speaker B: Thank you all. We'll see you all next episode.
[00:41:08] Speaker D: Wvuafm, Tuscaloosa this show was not intended.
[00:41:11] Speaker A: As a substitute for professional counseling. Further, the views, opinions and conclusions expressed by the show hosts or their guests are their own and not necessarily those of the University of Alabama, its officers or trustees.
Any views, opinions or conclusions shared on the show do not create a relationship between the host or any guest and any listener, and such a relationship should never be inferred. If you feel you're in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, please contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective county's crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
