Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: This show is not a substitute for professional counseling and no relationship is created between the show host or guests and any listener. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, we encourage you to contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective counties crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
[00:00:45] Speaker B: Hey, guys, we are back. This is the Bama Balance. Real stories about college men's mental health.
It's crazy. Episode seven already.
[00:00:53] Speaker C: It's episode seven and it's, well, I guess all a little bit about halfway through the semester. Yeah, almost. Right.
[00:01:00] Speaker B: Right about.
Good week. Off to a good start. Big win this weekend.
[00:01:05] Speaker C: The best start.
[00:01:07] Speaker B: Looking forward to this episode. As. As we were talking, I wanted to keep the energy high, so I made sure to choose something good, positive.
[00:01:13] Speaker C: So for sure. So you were at the game, right, Brooks?
[00:01:16] Speaker B: I was. I was there. Gosh, that was great.
[00:01:19] Speaker D: For reference, we are talking about the Georgia game because by the time this releases, we've already played Vanderbilt.
[00:01:23] Speaker C: Correct.
[00:01:24] Speaker D: But we're talking about Georgia. So as of right now, vibes are high.
[00:01:29] Speaker C: So high.
And just learning that that game day will be here.
[00:01:34] Speaker B: Game day will be here for the.
[00:01:35] Speaker C: Vandy game, which is this coming weekend. But by the time this airs, we will have played it again. We're such a very odd schedule with all this, but no. So it was a great game.
[00:01:47] Speaker B: Yeah, it was. I'm excited.
I thought we played great and gave us some very good looks going forward. And this is what at University of Alabama going to school here is about.
[00:01:58] Speaker C: Right?
[00:01:59] Speaker B: We win one now we've got game day here. So there's a lot to be excited about. And as I've said on one of the earlier episodes, when something good happens with our football program, you can tell it around campus.
[00:02:12] Speaker C: Oh, my gosh, that is so true.
Even driving into campus, it had a much better feel to it. Now it may. I was feeling better too, because we won. And that was. That was such an amazing game.
There's something we needed, that game.
[00:02:31] Speaker D: Oh, yeah, We. I mean, it was.
It was encouraging because I feel like after playing Georgia in Athens, beating them the way we did. Yeah, I feel like that shows that we can play with and beat anyone, right. If we're, you know, for playing our game and I don't even think we played our. I think I think we could play better than we did at least offensively.
[00:02:52] Speaker C: Right.
[00:02:53] Speaker D: And we still had a great offensive game. So I think. I mean, I think our ceiling is even much higher than what was, in my opinion, a very controlled performance.
[00:03:04] Speaker C: You got to wonder what goes through their minds, though, through our players minds, as. As they're getting ready for the game, as they're prepping for the game, and as they are on the field there.
[00:03:13] Speaker B: You know, that's one of those they talk about right there.
[00:03:17] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:03:18] Speaker B: That's a good feeling, I'm sure. Gosh, even in, like, high school, playing your rival, you know.
[00:03:22] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:03:23] Speaker B: Get those jitters. I cannot imagine, like, running out of that tunnel, you know, the adrenaline is unreal.
[00:03:29] Speaker D: Insane, I'd imagine, at least. I don't know.
[00:03:33] Speaker C: Yeah, it is. How did you, like. How did you like Sanford Stadium?
[00:03:37] Speaker B: I've been before I went when they played Ole Miss two years ago because my cousin graduated from there. Yeah, I like the stadium.
It's pretty cool, especially how it's laid out, it being a night game. They gave out.
I'm not sure if y' all could see it on tv, but wristbands that had, like, lights, and I saw those.
[00:03:56] Speaker C: Like, strobe lights or something.
[00:03:58] Speaker B: Strobe lights.
They. They wanted all the fans to put them on.
[00:04:01] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:04:02] Speaker B: I did not.
Mine didn't make it up in my seat with me, but.
[00:04:07] Speaker C: Okay. All right. It looked like, like big time concert or something.
[00:04:12] Speaker B: Yeah, it was awesome.
And. And they did good. I thought with their music and.
[00:04:17] Speaker C: Right.
[00:04:18] Speaker B: They had this song they played on. You know, you'd think it'd be like the third down song when We Ring the bells sometimes. But they played this song, like, every time something good happened, so that's going to be beating my head forever now. I heard about.
[00:04:32] Speaker D: I saw that on Social. It was like some movie score or something.
[00:04:35] Speaker B: Yeah, it was. It was very interesting. It sounded great. If they would have played it just third down, I think it would have been awesome. But I think they overused it just a little bit.
[00:04:45] Speaker C: Right, right. That'd be. It'd be great to. To get a sense of what our players kind of what their prep is and. And just what goes through their minds. It'd be great, you know, to have a couple of them here with us, so.
[00:04:59] Speaker B: Yeah, we know.
[00:05:00] Speaker C: Listening.
[00:05:01] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:05:01] Speaker C: Right.
[00:05:02] Speaker D: Any athletes want to pull up?
[00:05:04] Speaker C: That's right. That's right.
[00:05:05] Speaker B: No doubt.
[00:05:06] Speaker D: In your room.
[00:05:06] Speaker C: Right. The Bama balance on Instagram. Check us out. Drop us a. Drop us a line, and we'll get you here for sure. It was a great game. Kaden Proctor again. I said this earlier highlight game for.
[00:05:17] Speaker B: Me, I mean, no doubt.
[00:05:20] Speaker D: How was that like? I mean, because I know what I was feeling watching on tv. Like, did y' all notice that, like, in the, like in the stadium? Cause I feel like you don't necessarily. You can't always see as much, right?
[00:05:30] Speaker B: I missed a big play that I didn't realize on Bray Hubbard during the game. I just took a video of that earlier and there were a lot of guys and we had this group chat and I was like, I'm not sure if any of y' all missed this. I 100 did, but y' all need to watch this. It was impressive. But when he was out there, one of us recognized, I think it might have been Bennett. And he was like, holy cow. Caden Proctor's, like, lined up at wide receiver. And we all, at that point, we flew down. We were praying they'd do it to him.
So we're excited. It was just a great weekend. I'm excited to be back today.
This topic that we're about to introduce is going to be awesome, very positive and life changing. For, in many ways, I feel like. And these are some things you'll keep for a long time. So if y' all stick around, we'll be back with segment one. This is the BAMA Balance wvuafm Tuscaloosa.
[00:06:43] Speaker A: This show is not a substitute for professional counseling and no relationship is created between the show host or guests and any listener. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, we encourage you to contact the UA Counseling center at 348382.
If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective counties crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
[00:07:27] Speaker D: Hello, everybody, and welcome back to our first segment today. And as Brooks was alluding to earlier, as we were talking about our amazing football game this past weekend, we have a really, really fun, good topic today. And we're going to talk about friendships and kind of the importance of friendships and finding friendships that, like, I guess mean something because you can be friendly with people, but, like, having true, you know, friendships that, that will. I mean, I think when you say, like, friendships that last, like, that's what's important.
So what are your initial thoughts about friendships in the context of university?
[00:08:07] Speaker B: I think it's fun to see how, you know, you're coming out of high school and you've got a set Group of friends. But, you know, that changes.
For some people, it may not. They may stick closer to their high school friends. I know for me, I tended to not really break off those relationships, but those relationships kind of fizzed out a little bit as I got here.
And I still keep great contact with a select amount of my friends back home. But there truly were some friendships that were more of a friendly manner and not a true relationship between us.
[00:08:45] Speaker C: Well, you know, for me it was almost similar because going to college, I didn't know anybody else going to college. And so, you know, for me it was by.
By. Not only by choice, but by necessity. Right to, you know, branch out and make friends. And. And I'll say some of the closest friends I have today, the ones I met in college, that we're still friends.
[00:09:09] Speaker B: Yeah, I love what you said there, because when I came here, I did not know anybody. So it was like you were forced basically to replace some of those friendships with ones that you had to have here, or else you just wouldn't have any friends.
[00:09:26] Speaker C: Exactly. How for you, Edward?
[00:09:28] Speaker D: I mean, it's such a funny thing because, I mean, yeah, you have your friends from back home, and at least in my experience, not many of them come came here, but at least not the ones my age.
And it's funny how, I mean, even like the people, like, I thought I was going to be friends with throughout all my time, especially like, really during freshman year, people who I had met initially, I was like, oh, yeah, I'm gonna be friends with them for like, sorry, all of college.
And it's like, for one reason or the other, most of the time for nothing bad. It's just by nature of you figure out where you want to be. Like, you're not necessarily with those people as much anymore. And you do find where your people are.
And I always find that super interesting because it's always something that I was told. I was told, like, yeah, you might not be best friends with the people you are freshman year.
And I.
I never really fully understood that. But it's like, even today, I'll.
Not today specifically, but like, this semester so far, I've met people who.
[00:10:32] Speaker B: For.
[00:10:32] Speaker D: Whatever reason, like, no other contacts would have met, but I maybe did one thing on a whim. It's like, okay, now I know this person to actually get along with that person very well.
So it's very interesting up here also the aspect of we do literally everything, like, we're always with people up here.
[00:10:53] Speaker B: It is, Yeah.
[00:10:54] Speaker D: I mean, living with. Living with people like There is no. I mean, when you're back home, when you're a kid, you can only see your friends so often. I mean, you can see them at school.
[00:11:04] Speaker C: Right.
[00:11:04] Speaker D: But in the context of, like, doing fun things, like, you don't usually get to choose that, especially at a younger age. But I mean, we have so much freedom up here. Like, we're. We're never. Not with people we want to be with. Like, it's. It's very interesting and it's. It's.
It's cool to me to see how quickly deep friendships can form in a shorter amount of time due to the circumstances of constant interaction and being surrounded by one another.
[00:11:33] Speaker C: Right, right. What would you define as a deep friendship, As a close friendship? How would you define that?
[00:11:41] Speaker B: I would honestly say one, you probably hang out a good bit or at least keep in touch.
[00:11:47] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:11:50] Speaker B: I'd kind of base it off of, do you feel comfortable telling that person something that maybe a bunch of other people don't need to know? Like, you know, do y' all have that bond where, like, okay, I'm gonna respect him and, like, that needs to stay between us or something like that? I mean, I guess you could gauge it a million different ways.
[00:12:11] Speaker C: Right.
[00:12:11] Speaker B: But that's. That's kind of what I'd bad say for that.
[00:12:15] Speaker D: I would agree. I think comfortable is the first one that comes to mind, like, being willing to share and open up and.
Yeah, I think Brooks just kind of explained it perfectly. It's like that familiarity.
[00:12:30] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:12:31] Speaker D: And a lot of that comes with being around someone a lot.
[00:12:33] Speaker C: Right.
[00:12:34] Speaker D: Because you're not gonna walk up to someone random unless you're filming a YouTube video or tick tock. Be like and tell me your deepest, darker secret. Like, it's just not realistic.
[00:12:45] Speaker C: Yeah.
And it. That, that kind of trust develops over time, though, doesn't it?
[00:12:51] Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely.
Like, the people I met freshman year that I am still super close with, I mean, that's been three years of one. Especially my roommate for the past three years. Like, and we live together for three years, see each other every day.
That's something tight that won't be broken. So I think the more comfortable you are is the more time you spend with people.
[00:13:17] Speaker C: No, for sure. I know freshman year for me, Boston College, they overbooked housing that year, and so they put about 100 of us off campus, maybe five minutes away. Off campus.
I can't help but laugh about this.
Boston College rented out a monastery, and they put about 100 of us guys and girls in a monastery.
And St. Gabriel's Monastery, which is now a high end condo apartment complex.
Right.
But at the time, it was a collection of about 100 freshmen. And we had the best time. We had our own community, we had our own fun.
And again, to this day, Edward, you talk about living with folks and living with friends almost 24, 7, depending on where you are. And so to this day, some of my best friends come from those same friendships.
And I'm still close friends to this day with particularly a couple friends who live in Florida. And although we may not, you know, speak every other day or every month and maybe, you know, get in touch with each other during birthdays and holidays, it feels like no time has passed.
[00:14:47] Speaker B: Right.
[00:14:47] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:14:48] Speaker B: That's got to be awesome feeling, too.
[00:14:49] Speaker C: That's great.
[00:14:50] Speaker B: And I know for you it might have been different as well, as you went through, you know, your undergrad and then you started, you know, going to different schools, doing different stuff.
[00:14:58] Speaker C: Right.
[00:14:58] Speaker B: How did that kind of affect friendships? And did you make new ones every year when you went somewhere new or.
[00:15:04] Speaker C: I did. I did the.
So my core friendships, I always relate back to Freshwood, to undergraduate year, but other schools that I've.
That I went to, I've made great friends there. University of Missouri, actually, I still have friends that I'm in contact with from the University of Missouri, and we'll see each other at conferences or things of that sort.
But it's been a lot of fun. And I think what I've learned is that, you know, there are certain friendships that sort of transcend distance and transcend time.
And I think the quality of those relationships are the things that I most value. So things like trust and those kinds of qualities and relationships. Right. So friendships, in terms of what are those qualities that you value the most for the group of friends you got.
[00:16:03] Speaker B: Golly, I kind of agree with you there. Trust me is a big one. Like I was saying, I feel like, you know, a good friend is somebody that you could tell anything to and they'll have your back on that.
[00:16:14] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:16:15] Speaker B: Trust. I'd probably say something along the lines of reliability.
[00:16:20] Speaker C: That's good. That's good.
[00:16:21] Speaker B: If my car were to break down 10 minutes away from campus, you know, can I call. Can I call on one of these people to come help me? Even though that may be out of their way, a good friend, you know, normally would come unless they have something that they just can't make it for.
And then I'd probably say just like, I mean, love, you know, I love all my friends.
[00:16:43] Speaker C: That's such A good word.
[00:16:44] Speaker B: I mean, I die for numerous friends of mine, so I think that's also a big. A big characteristic.
[00:16:51] Speaker C: Yeah. Love it.
[00:16:52] Speaker D: How would I go that.
I think when you talk about, like, the trust, and I think, like, especially like loyalty, I think comes to mind of just not necessarily, like you have to choose between two people, but loyalty in the sense of, like, who's gonna, you know, stick with me when it's not easy to. Or who. Who will I do that with? Who will I do that for?
You know, when. Who's gonna pat me on the back when we lose to Vanderbilt last year?
[00:17:20] Speaker C: Last year. Thank you.
[00:17:23] Speaker D: I almost slipped up there. But, you know, it's just stuff like that. I think that that's an important part of, like, being there for one another, but also just like, making sure that you have that level of trust and loyalty and being there for someone else. And then. Yeah, I think part of it is like, do. Do I enjoy being around that person? Like, is that because I feel like I can. Someone can be loyal to you, or you can trust someone and not necessarily joy being around them in the sense of, like, it's not that you hate it, but it's, you know, you're not. They're not gonna be the first person that you reach out to if you have an open.
[00:18:02] Speaker C: Right.
[00:18:03] Speaker D: Like Thursday or Friday night and vice versa. You know, that's true. So that's true. I think when it comes to, like, my.
My deepest, most loving, strongest friendships is those people. People who, you know, who are always like, it's. It's a mutual, like, like you said, checking in on one another, but also just kind of reaching out a lot.
[00:18:26] Speaker C: Right. And there's something about those friendships that, you know, that are trusting, that are loving, that are dedicated, loyal, that really help our own mental health.
[00:18:37] Speaker D: Yeah, right.
[00:18:38] Speaker C: In times when we're particularly down or when. Or when we trust or sort of second guess ourselves or aren't in the best place to. To trust ourselves. And we have those friends and those deep friends that we can rely on and are sometimes better friends to us than we are to ourselves.
[00:19:01] Speaker D: Yeah, that. I mean, that's what I. That's what I'll tell people.
I mean, if I. If I ever to give a. Talk about, I'm going to give him a. So I'll talk to some of our new guys in our. My fraternity. And one of the things I said was, like, I mean, you. You can't do everything alone, like, lean on the guy sitting next to you, because y' all are you'll have this unique experience to really have a strong friendship with one another due to this, like, shared experience.
And like, utilize that like y' all know what y' all are going through.
Like y', all, like when school gets hard, like y' all can relate to one another, right? And use that, lean on that.
So that's just some of the things that I think I agree with will always go back to.
But we'll talk more, we'll dive more into to that part of friendships and what it means to have really strong, trusting friendships. In our second segment, this has been the Bama Balance.
[00:20:17] Speaker B: Wvuafm Tuscaloosa.
[00:20:20] Speaker A: This show is not a substitute for professional counseling and no relationship is created between the show hosts or guests and any listeners. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, we encourage you to contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective counties crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency.
[00:21:04] Speaker C: Welcome back, everyone, to the Bama Balance. In this, the second segment, we'll continue this notion of friendships, close friendships and their relationship to our mental health.
And there have been several times I know, when, you know, I've leaned on friends of mine and particularly those close friends to help either, you know, cope with something I'm dealing with or sometimes I just need someone to vent to and, and someone just to listen. And those are some great times. And I particularly think of those close friends that, that I have who've. Who. Who have come into my life at different times and in different ways and was wondering in terms of the close friends that each of you have, how have they come into your lives?
[00:21:58] Speaker B: So my, probably my two closest friends of all time were two guys that one, my dad was friends. Best friends with one of their dads.
[00:22:11] Speaker C: Wow.
[00:22:12] Speaker B: So as. As far back as I can remember, when I can remember life.
[00:22:17] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:22:18] Speaker B: You know, I don't remember being two years old, but me and, me and Cam were neighbors. We grew up together in this little neighborhood and we were next door neighbors. And that was awesome because our friends were such good. I mean our parents were such good friends. So we were always right there. Bryce was living in the neighborhood too.
Um, but one of my. And this weekend just made me think about it. One of my best, like, just like all around friends, you know, if I had a serious question or somebody that I feel like I could really talk to.
Would have been my. Our pledge trainer when we were freshmen here. I get a call Saturday morning in Athens at 7:15 in the morning from this guy, and I'm like, oh, my gosh. I thought I was driving, dreaming for a second. I was like, oh, this is not good. Why is he calling me?
But he was just calling me to, you know, see if I was gonna be in Athens. He wanted to catch up. So I think that's very interesting. And, you know, people find friends in so many different ways.
[00:23:18] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:23:19] Speaker B: And that was a guy that taught all of us a lot about a different. Different things.
[00:23:24] Speaker C: Wow.
[00:23:24] Speaker B: And he. I'm sure he made a ton of friendships in that way. And, you know, I respect him to death when.
[00:23:31] Speaker C: What's his name?
[00:23:32] Speaker B: Stetson Ponder. I'm not sure if you.
[00:23:34] Speaker C: I know the name. I don't know. I don't know. Stetson. So what would you say to Stetson about how close a friend he is to you and what he means to you?
[00:23:41] Speaker B: Oh, we're. I mean, we're pretty close.
[00:23:43] Speaker D: We don't.
[00:23:43] Speaker B: Like you said, we don't talk all the time. Yeah, we text each other for birthdays about Alabama football. But I mean, he just means a lot because he poured a lot of time into us. He loved on us, you know, freshman year. And that's one of those things that goes a long way. He's just one of those guys you look up to. And I mean, we're pretty tight, so I feel like I could go to him with about anything.
[00:24:06] Speaker C: That's fantastic. I love that. How about for you, Edward?
[00:24:12] Speaker D: I mean, I think about kind of friends in two different, like, there's lots of, like, my friends from back home and friends that I've made here.
And there's, There is some crossover. Like, there's some of my, like, best friends from back home who are. Who came here after I did. So it's like, it was weird because I didn't necessarily, like, meet them here, but I'm getting to kind of be friends with them here as well as, like, they're also already. We're just friends from back home, but I think one of my best friends from back home who doesn't go here, his name is Gabe. So Shout out Gabe. Yeah, he goes to Troy. He actually texted me the other day. He sent me a picture of the. Of like, the, like his CarPlay podcast and he said cinema. No, it was the last episode about.
I guess it would have been at the time, Faith and spirituality.
[00:25:08] Speaker C: Yeah.
That's cool.
[00:25:10] Speaker D: But, yeah, so, like. Yeah, I mean, I can talk. I mean, I feel like that's the guy I can always go to.
[00:25:16] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:25:17] Speaker D: Always talk about, like, anything. Like, there's just. There's no, like, walls there, if that makes sense.
[00:25:22] Speaker B: There's just.
[00:25:23] Speaker D: It's completely open, and it. It is.
He's someone I'll always, like, be able to go to. Always feel like I can, you know, reach out to if I'm ever going to some. Or if just, you know, like, anytime we're in the same place, like, we're going to probably be hanging out. So there's that aspect to it as well. And. But just like, a lot of those guys from back home, whether they are here or not, I mean, those are friendships that formed kind of like how Brooks said. I mean, whether it was like my parents knew their parents or maybe they went to the same church, but regardless, it was kind of one of those where just kind of. It's one of those. It's those situations that are kind of just kind of placed in your life, and you do life together from an early age, and you just develop those friendships. But there's also a couple friends that I've made up here, and I think especially through my experiences in Farmhouse has been incredible. I've gotten to know a lot of really good guys, but, I mean, they're definitely a couple that kind of stand out and who I've just had the ultimate pleasure of getting to kind of do life with up here.
[00:26:34] Speaker C: Sure.
[00:26:35] Speaker D: Even if every time we go to an away game together, we lose.
So no more away games for me.
[00:26:41] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:26:41] Speaker B: Y' all don't need to go to away games.
[00:26:42] Speaker C: No.
[00:26:43] Speaker D: He was actually in Athens.
[00:26:44] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:26:45] Speaker D: This Saturday.
[00:26:46] Speaker C: Okay, that's good.
[00:26:47] Speaker B: That means you can't go.
[00:26:52] Speaker D: But, yeah, it's stuff like that.
And like I said before, that shared experience, being with someone, like, constantly being with people right here.
[00:27:02] Speaker C: Right.
[00:27:03] Speaker D: I mean, you have, like. You accelerate that kind of path.
[00:27:08] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:27:08] Speaker D: Of friendship, and it's never quite.
I mean, it's hard. You can't really be at history a lot of the time. Like, when you grow up with somebody, it's hard to, like, not know more about them than you do something you met in college. But still, I mean, you can.
I feel like everyone's so open to it here that you people are just, like, willing to. To let their. Their guard down a little bit.
[00:27:28] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. I sometimes feel like, like, I got to know my close friends group in college more so than I did the ones at home because, you know, we're around each other 21, 24, 7. But, you know, living together, we saw each other every day and that kind of thing.
[00:27:45] Speaker D: And you're more of who you are in college.
[00:27:47] Speaker C: Oh, I. I think you're right.
[00:27:48] Speaker D: I mean, you're reaching, obviously. I mean, are my brains not developed yet? But, like, I'm still.
I'm. I'm getting to that point where, like, who I am is. Is about to not really change much more.
Because when you're a kid, I mean, you're just learning so much, you're trying to figure out your place in the world, and it's like, I, you know, for the most part, know that now.
[00:28:11] Speaker C: Yeah.
Yeah.
[00:28:12] Speaker D: So it's, it's incredibly awesome.
And I think having people.
And I think, like, when it goes along with mental health, I think about this often.
Having people here is great because they know, like, exactly what's happening in your life, but then having people you can talk to back home who are absent from that, who can give you a perspective of not, like, knowing exactly what's happening. You can tell them exactly what's happening, but not having that same.
Not being in that same atmosphere.
[00:28:40] Speaker C: Right.
[00:28:41] Speaker D: Just, like, being able to lean on both those types of people is just, is. Is amazing.
You really get to, to, like, grow a lot because of that, I think.
[00:28:57] Speaker C: Right.
[00:28:57] Speaker B: I do think that's very interesting what you just said. And I was thinking, sitting here thinking, I have so many different friends that I could talk to different things about. And I think that's the joy of having weird ways to find friends is, you know, I'm always a big encourager of when you're in class, you don't know anybody. Talk to as many people as you can. There you go. You may make a friend there, but, like, that's a friend that you could talk to about a mental health struggle in that class.
And then you've got friends. Like I was saying, maybe a life problem. I can go talk to Stetson or somebody that's a little bit older than me that may know more than I do. And I think that is the beauty of it.
[00:29:35] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:29:36] Speaker B: How you meet people can also often and, you know, tell you what type of friendship y' all need to have and what would be more beneficial for you yourself.
[00:29:44] Speaker C: Now, that. That's so true. I think that's so true, Brooks. And, and again, what you said, Edward, in terms of having those different friends to be able to rely on, I think that, you know, we can be intentional about, you know, how we reach out to others, how we Cultivate a friend group. But I don't know that there's anything more unintentional maybe about the way in which a best friend or best friend's relationship develops.
Right. I don't know if there's any intentionality behind that or if it just happens. What's been your experience? So if you think of those, of your, those best friends or best friend, I wouldn't really.
[00:30:28] Speaker B: I don't think there's any intention.
[00:30:31] Speaker C: Yeah, something just clutch.
[00:30:33] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:30:33] Speaker B: Most of mine were. My two biggest ones are definitely back home and we were, I mean three years old. They were bullying me probably with maybe in the younger one. But I mean at that point we didn't know what intentionality was. We were just, we were doing it together.
[00:30:50] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:30:51] Speaker B: And my friends in college, I feel like it's just kind of click too, you know, you, you hit it off and. Yeah, there you go.
[00:30:58] Speaker C: There's an unspoken, there's some unspoken quality. I don't know what it is, but maybe personality, maybe something, some other quality that is hard to be intentional about. But you at least I have a feeling that when I encounter someone that I trust and who trusts me and there's a common positive, self regulatory guard for the other, that's kind of a good sign of a good friendship, much less one that can develop into a.
[00:31:32] Speaker D: Really strong and deep friendship, I think that's like, interesting. Like you talk about like the common denominator, I guess of like what makes people like become really good friends. And I think oftentimes like, and especially when it comes to best friends, the common denominator is the, that they're different people.
I think oftentimes like we don't realize how much like our, like we compliment our friends in the sense of like our personalities are different but they're not like, they don't contrast. It's like a puzzle, you know, like they, they fit together and the differences are like, like you bring the best out of someone or you just get along naturally because maybe one person is, is, you know, understands like something about you, but maybe has a different perspective. But it's great to hear that. I don't know, I think there's, and there are, there are times where it's similarities like common interest, shared interest, like shared experience especially. But I think oftentimes that common denominator is the, the differences that complement each other.
[00:32:36] Speaker C: I couldn't have said it better myself this. So as you were saying that I was, the best friend that comes to my mind is my best friend Michael, who's long since passed, but I still regard him as my best friend.
And before he passed, I was able to convey to him that part of the reason he was my best friend was that he brought out the best in me, really, and I hopefully brought out the best in him. But we were so.
I think we were probably more different than alike. We were alike in some ways, but more different than others. I think it's that complementarity that seemed to work for us.
[00:33:20] Speaker B: That's awesome.
[00:33:21] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah, it's been fantastic. You know, there's so much more we can continue to talk about as it relates to best friends, to friendship in mental health. And I think that, you know, what we've. What we've come to realize, and maybe not so surprisingly so, is that friendships play an important part in our mental health, both in supporting us and encouraging us, maybe even challenging us sometimes to find our better selves. And there's nothing like.
They're nothing like close friendships, best friends to.
To really be alongside you on your mental health journey. And I think that certainly that's the one thing that's been evident to me, regardless of how those friendships develop.
We're drawing close here to the end of the second segment, and hopefully we'll tie some things up here in our last segment. This is the BAMA Balance.
[00:34:42] Speaker B: Wvuafm Tuscaloosa.
[00:34:45] Speaker A: This show is not a substitute for professional counseling, and no relationship is created between the show hosts or guests and any listener. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, we encourage you to contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective counties crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency.
[00:35:29] Speaker B: All right, guys, welcome back to the outro segment we're gonna do here. And as we were just sitting talking a lot to talk about friendships, and I want to shout out one that, you know, or two that I've made this year doing something weird.
So shout out to both of y'. All. Y'.
[00:35:46] Speaker C: All.
[00:35:46] Speaker B: I mean, this is just one of those things that we were talking about. You know, you find friends doing weird stuff, and these are friendships that I could definitely talk about. And we talk about it every day, you know, random stuff. And if I ever had mental health problems or something like that, I'd not hesitate to reach out to either two of you. So y' all feel like y' all can do the same.
[00:36:09] Speaker C: Absolutely.
[00:36:12] Speaker B: I wanted to make that known.
[00:36:13] Speaker C: So there is something about, you know, that's. And I'm glad you said that, because I feel the same way. There's something about, you know, these conversations that just elicit, you know, trust in each other and our openness that. That, you know, even regardless of what we're talking about, there's a sense of friendship that does get built, a sense of trust and an understanding that we all have. I love it. I think that's what makes us unique and makes our conversations pretty dang real.
[00:36:45] Speaker D: I like what you said. And you're, like, just doing weird things.
[00:36:48] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:36:49] Speaker D: I mean, that's just what it is.
[00:36:50] Speaker C: Like.
[00:36:52] Speaker D: Like, just. I'm trying to think of an example, because I know it's happened, but, I mean, it's just so you can find. I mean, you just never know where you'll find somebody and you'll be doing.
It's. I'll say this. It's those moments where it's like, you're. Because I'll say this. I'm a huge. I love, like, Lord of the Rings. I'm just like. I nerd out when it comes to Lord of the Rings. Like, I. I try to know everything I can about it, but I don't, like, go around, like, parading that. But then, like, I meet someone who, like, says something, and I'm like, oh, I know what that means.
And it's like, okay. Okay.
[00:37:27] Speaker B: Something in common.
[00:37:28] Speaker D: Yeah, I can. I can talk to you about this.
[00:37:31] Speaker C: I was. I'll say this. My. My home. Wi Fi has.
Has a Lord of the Rings reference.
[00:37:39] Speaker D: Does it really?
[00:37:40] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:37:40] Speaker D: What does it say?
[00:37:41] Speaker C: Well, I'll tell you after this.
[00:37:42] Speaker D: Okay, fair enough.
[00:37:45] Speaker B: Can't let everybody get in my wifi.
[00:37:47] Speaker C: I didn't think about that, but. No, I guess I get you. No, no, it's great. There is something about those friendships, though, that are very, you know, they're very special. And, you know, we've talked a little bit about, you know, the nature of friendships that are. And why they are special. But, you know, what resonated with me is a sense of not only loyalty and trust, but that sense of love that isn't a friendship that is nowhere else. I mean, I can't think of the kind of love that I've had in my closest friendships that I've had in other relationships. It's a different kind of love, and I think it's one that, particularly for college men, I think it's important to really appreciate and to nurture and Sometimes it's.
Sometimes friendships like that come in in weird moments or they just sort of fall into our lives. I had this conversation with a very close friend of mine a few weekends ago, and, you know, I shake my head, and I always say I have no idea how we came into each other's lives, but I'm glad that we did.
[00:39:06] Speaker B: Yeah, no doubt. And I think as a college guy, it is so important to have those friendships just purely based off of the fact of, you know, these people are there for you.
They. They can resonate with what you're doing. Y' all have a lot in common.
And, I mean, they're the ones that last.
So you're about to hit the real world. When you're coming through here, you might as well make them and see who you can stick tight with in the future.
[00:39:33] Speaker D: Agreed. I mean, that's.
That's what it is. Like, who do you want to do life with? Who are you doing life like? It's just. That's.
That's kind of what it comes down to.
[00:39:43] Speaker C: That's true. I'm glad we're doing this together.
[00:39:48] Speaker B: No doubt. I told.
I told Michael the other day when we were walking out. We were about to get on the elevator. He was like, golly, that was awesome. I guess Mondays, you know. Yeah. I mean, it's a great.
It's a great way to look forward to Mondays when most people dread Mondays.
[00:40:06] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:40:07] Speaker B: So I love doing it, and thank y' all for. For doing it with us.
[00:40:11] Speaker C: Thank you.
[00:40:12] Speaker B: This is the Bama Balance. I'm Brooks Barbary.
[00:40:14] Speaker D: I'm Edward felton.
[00:40:15] Speaker C: And I'm Dr. Todi Perez.
[00:40:17] Speaker B: Thank y' all for listening. Follow us on Instagram at Bama Balance. See y'.
[00:40:20] Speaker D: All.
[00:40:40] Speaker B: Wvuafm Tuscaloosa.
[00:40:43] Speaker A: This show was not intended as a substitute for professional counseling. Further, the views, opinions, and conclusions expressed by the show hosts or their guests are their own and not necessarily those of the University of Alabama, its officers or trustees. Any views, opinions, or conclusions shared on the show. Show do not create a relationship between the host or any guest and any listener, and such a relationship should never be inferred. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, please contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective counties crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
