Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: This show is not a substitute for professional counseling and no relationship is created between the show host or guests and any listener. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, we encourage you to contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective counties crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
[00:00:41] Speaker B: Hey everybody. Welcome back to the Bama Balance. Real stories about college men's mental health. I'm Johnny Foster.
[00:00:48] Speaker C: And I'm Dr. Tony Perez.
[00:00:49] Speaker D: I'm Nick Smith.
[00:00:50] Speaker B: And it is exciting to be back on the mic this week.
[00:00:54] Speaker C: Johnny's back. Welcome back, Johnny.
[00:00:55] Speaker B: Welcome back.
[00:00:56] Speaker C: Welcome back.
[00:00:57] Speaker B: I don't deserve the applause, but it has been a long hiatus since I've been. I've had the headphones on and been in front of the mic and it's, it's back to like the first episode that we record. I'm kind of in the jitters again. I thought I was all comfortable and now I'm back in the hot seat.
[00:01:11] Speaker D: It feels no strange without you for sure.
[00:01:14] Speaker C: I know, I know. Tyler did a great job as our first co host, so. He did a great job but nobody better for that. Well, I tell you, it was as we were talking earlier, felt like we were on a two legged stool. So shout out to Tyler and thanking him for filling in as our guest co host. But and it's also great to have you back.
[00:01:35] Speaker B: Thank you. Yeah, I'm glad to be back. I had some.
I had a back spasms and wasn't able to, you know, really move around so it wasn't too fun. But I know I'm super excited to be back. I actually tried to come in Dr. Perez's office last week. I don't think I told you this, Nick. I tried to go into his office last week in hopes that we were recording to like so I could get in there early and figure out the episode just to find out that we weren't even recording. I called him, he's like, what are you doing?
I'm in my car right now. Yeah.
[00:02:06] Speaker D: I thought we were both out of town.
[00:02:10] Speaker B: Yeah, I just completely forgot about that. And so I had to wait in a whole nother week for, for this moment. So I'm super excited to be back.
[00:02:17] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:02:18] Speaker B: Back with you guys.
[00:02:19] Speaker C: No, it's great to have you.
[00:02:20] Speaker D: Glad to have you.
[00:02:20] Speaker C: Did you. So you were able to get some Good rest then.
[00:02:23] Speaker B: Very much so.
[00:02:25] Speaker C: For three, four weeks, whenever it was.
[00:02:26] Speaker B: Well, yeah, I was up for a. I was out for a week with my back. It was second time it's ever happened to me. It was just weird. It's like my back completely locked up and couldn't anything about it. Um, but. And I was super scared because I'm running a half marathon.
[00:02:40] Speaker C: That's this weekend.
[00:02:40] Speaker B: This weekend, yeah. So running a half marathon this weekend. I guess whenever this comes out, it didn't last.
[00:02:46] Speaker C: You have already run.
[00:02:47] Speaker B: But so hopefully by hopefully it feels. It feels fine now. I've been running, like consistently since that happened, but still not ready for 13 miles.
I am so screwed.
[00:03:02] Speaker C: Oh, my gosh.
[00:03:03] Speaker D: I'm sure you'll be fine. I feel like the community of people running around you really carries you through that. I've never run a half marathon for the record, but I'd imagine it'd be easier with like 50 people cheering you on, like at every point in the race. So.
[00:03:18] Speaker C: Gosh. Wow. Well, we'll wish you luck and you can catch us up on how you did too. Did. So while you were recovering, did you listen to all the episodes that we've recorded so far?
[00:03:31] Speaker B: So the thing is, I hate listening to my voice, so that's the hard part. And so whenever I start going on a spiel, which I tend to do, I would, you know, hit the 15 minute or not 15 minute, 15 second, you know, fast forward and go through that. But I have listened to all of them now, so that. That's exciting. Except I haven't listened to all the points that I made.
[00:03:51] Speaker C: Well, you're missing a third of the wisdom then.
[00:03:52] Speaker B: Right? I know. Well, not really. I don't bring that much.
No. But hopefully. Hopefully we can, you know, start off on a good foot with myself back. I don't know. The more I talk, I can. I kind of feel better about it already. Yeah. Since like in the beginning in.
[00:04:10] Speaker C: Right.
[00:04:10] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:04:10] Speaker C: It's, you know, it's bicycle time.
[00:04:12] Speaker B: Exactly. I was about to say that. Okay, well, you know, we're excited to get into today's topic of honors week. With honors. This being published on Honors Week, we're going to talk about the highs and lows all in between of Honors Week. So we're excited for that. See you in the next segment. This is the Bama Balance.
Wvuafm Tuscaloosa.
[00:04:47] Speaker A: This show is not a substitute for professional counseling. And no relationship is created between the show hosts or guests and any listener. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, we encourage you to contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective counties crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
[00:05:30] Speaker D: Everybody, welcome back to the BAMA Balance.
Start off segment one. We were all part of Honors Day last year. Johnny and I were juniors, so that's like the big honors day for us while we're in undergrad. So I wanted to open up to Ford and ask Johnny what his favorite memory from Honors Day was last year.
[00:05:50] Speaker B: Well, so I'd say. I'd say, you know, getting tapped into Jason's was awesome. That was something that I'd always strived to kind of be a part of. And once I saw it as a reality that then it was. It was something that kind of really attached to that I thought was really cool. I was fortunate enough to have gotten tapped in by someone who was a huge friend to me that I met in college, Andrew Fairburn, last year.
And he. That was awesome. And that whole week is so much fun. And then, so I only. I only applied to one, I guess, two honors, I guess, one official honor society. I only applied to Anderson Society and was, you know, fortunate enough to get let in for that. And so that was also really cool. But I think the coolest thing is that I love that it's. I love the tradition itself that, you know, the historic mound, everybody's there, the parents are there as well. And you don't know, like, what's. What you're going to get if you apply to multiple. I was on the other case, I only applied to one, so I was like, I'm just waiting.
But, like, seeing the people whose names get called and, like, their families perk up is so cool and uplifting. I really like that. That was probably my favorite part of seeing other people just so excited and seeing, like, their communities so excited.
[00:07:17] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:07:18] Speaker C: No, that's. That it really is a very special day. And the whole week is very special, too. You know, thinking back from last year, one of the things that. That I remember that's. That was really such a joy was being in on the 31S tapping of new members because they also do it as a surprise. And who was it last year was Maggie. Maggie Jutsy, who at that, last year was vice chair, I think, of our Advisory Council on Wellness.
[00:07:47] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:07:48] Speaker C: And so there was this elaborate Ruse where Maggie was going to meet with me here in the office. And then just as we were starting, maybe it was Trinity that knocks on the door. Maggie comes in or not Maggie, Madeline comes in, and they do their 31 thing.
[00:08:08] Speaker B: I love that.
[00:08:09] Speaker C: It's really. It's a really. A lot of fun.
[00:08:11] Speaker B: I love the way that they do that.
[00:08:12] Speaker C: Yeah. It was such a surprise, and it was. It was really a lot of fun.
[00:08:16] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:08:17] Speaker C: Great to see. Great to see.
[00:08:18] Speaker D: Yeah. I think for me, for the actual tapping on the mound that Friday, definitely, like, understand the sentiment of thinking that's a really cool tradition. I think so, too.
But Abby, and for the listeners who don't know, that's my girlfriend, got to tap me into Anderson, which was really special because I was obviously super grateful and honored to be a part of that, but also just somebody that I admire and care about so much. Being able to tap me into something that's like, this culmination of my experience here was really cool. And then getting to hang out with everybody afterwards, it kind of felt like the last day of school in elementary school, you know, your family's around, so you just, like, do something kind of fun.
And, like, Johnny and I were exhausted after the long week. But, yeah, I don't know. It's just a good time on Honors Day, for sure.
[00:09:17] Speaker C: How did you learn about the Honors Day tradition? I mean, as an undergraduate one. Was it that you.
[00:09:22] Speaker D: I've been going since probably freshman year.
[00:09:26] Speaker C: Oh, really?
[00:09:27] Speaker D: But mainly because of the people being tapped into things. So, like, oh, right, big day. Or David Strickland was an ATO and he won Most Outstanding Junior, so I went there for that. And then year after that, Abby won Most Outstanding Junior, and then I was a junior getting tapped into certain things.
[00:09:48] Speaker B: I was the opposite. That was the first time I'd ever gone to it, and really the first time that I. I don't know. I. I had known that you got into these different honor societies. I never. I thought it was like, an email, though. I didn't know, like, the mound, if you. If you're not looking for it, you're not going to find it.
[00:10:03] Speaker C: Right.
[00:10:04] Speaker B: Like, I didn't know that the mound was a thing. I'm not gonna lie until, like, I think until last year. Yeah. Like, I would be like, I'd always hear about it.
[00:10:11] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:10:11] Speaker B: And then nobody would ever tell me where. Literally right in front of you on the. On the. On the quad, I'd be like, where the. Like, is it in Moundville? Like, where is this?
[00:10:19] Speaker C: Yeah. Because you expect this or just from the terminology, right? Like this large pile or something?
[00:10:25] Speaker D: Yeah, well, it kind of. Kind of is. There's grass on it, you know. Yeah. It's like a little plateau.
[00:10:30] Speaker B: You don't. You don't appreciate how big it is until, like, you're kind of right next to it. But it's also kind of tucked away in that corner. So I'm giving myself some credit, but I don't know. No. So that was my first time seeing all that, experiencing all that. And I. I wish that I had gone to all the different. All the different years, even though I wasn't eligible for much of anything. But.
No, that was my first time. And so, like, I'm gonna tell my brother's coming up next year. I'm gonna tell him to go to all of it because it's. It really is cool.
[00:10:55] Speaker C: Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, I. The first time I found out about it was my first year here. And this is the.
You know, being at other colleges and universities, I think this is. Alabama has such great traditions and tapping on the mound and Honors Week is probably one of the best traditions. I think it's unique. I've never seen it at any other school or any other college the way we honor students achievements and keep with the traditions that are here. So I love it.
[00:11:33] Speaker D: Yeah. The two years ago, the year before Johnny and I, it was in the theater, and it did not have the same charm. I remember that. Yeah, it was raining. It was raining.
[00:11:43] Speaker C: I remember that.
[00:11:44] Speaker D: Yeah. But I remember last year was great. It was just like, kind of cooking outside, but, yeah, very fun.
[00:11:51] Speaker C: I remember that. Yeah. Jason's week, or Jason's tapping 31 and tapping on the mound on Friday is really. I mean, those are pretty special culminating events at the end of our academic year here.
It's amazing that.
It's amazing to see the students that are honored during the week for different things.
You know, we talked last episode about this notion of hustle culture and how it's tempting to kind of chase after achievements and how sometimes chasing after achievements is. Can feel meaningless or shallow if they're not rooted in the things that you value, that type of thing.
[00:12:46] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:12:46] Speaker D: Yeah. I think that Honors Day is. It brings out a lot of joy in people, but also can bring a lot of disappointment.
And I think I was like, honestly, a mix of both and, like, didn't appreciate, like, what was going on. You know, like, I was tapped into three of the four honoraries, and that was super exciting, great experience, was super honored. But I kept Thinking about the one out of four, and I was just like, oh, yeah, what the heck? You know?
[00:13:20] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:13:21] Speaker D: And then, you know, reflecting back on it, I was like, man, I'm a little stuck up about that. Like, like, there. There was no need to be undercutting my other achievements or, like, feeling happy about, you know, what was going on because of, you know, one of the four. Right.
[00:13:39] Speaker C: So did you feel like you missed out on something or that you weren't recognized as prominently something?
[00:13:48] Speaker D: I don't really know what I was feeling, to be quite honest. Like, I think that it was more so, like, trying to reconcile in my head, like, what was bad about my application to that one, you know, like, why. Why are the other three like, yeah, he's. He's good. And this one might be like, yeah, I'm gonna hold off on him.
So that definitely, like, made me worried a little bit on, like, you know, my ability to put an application together, which in hindsight is so silly because, like, 75% thought that it was a great application, you know?
[00:14:31] Speaker C: Right.
[00:14:32] Speaker B: So I also feel like that's human nature to focus on those negative parts. Like, someone could tell me my shirt looks awesome. Like, seven people could tell me. Then one person's like, your ears are a little small.
And the only thing I can think about for the rest of the day are my ears, regardless of, like, you know, anything else. I know that's a.
[00:14:52] Speaker D: You know, that one seemed like a deep cut. Like, I get.
[00:14:55] Speaker B: I have small ears.
[00:14:56] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:14:57] Speaker B: Thankfully, these headphones are covering them, so you can't look at them immediately. Yeah.
[00:15:01] Speaker D: During the break, I'm getting a peek at your ears for sure.
[00:15:05] Speaker B: Over my dead body.
No, but. But honestly, I mean, I feel like a lot of the times as, you know, as mental, we're not getting compliments every day. Right. And so when those compliments do come along, they're great. But again, whenever disappointment does come along, it hits a lot harder or, like, very hard for different people. And so it's. It's. Again, with the. Like you said, with the happiness of honors Week, there is also disappointment. So that's an interesting kind of avenue to, you know, navigate. Is that. Is that good, bad, the way we do it? I know. Auburn, you don't even get a notification by email if you've made it or not. You just show up and you're just hoping. Yeah.
[00:15:49] Speaker D: Wow.
[00:15:50] Speaker B: Yeah. Do you remember that on our tour for sga?
[00:15:54] Speaker D: Yeah, I recall, like, when you said it, I was like, yeah, that reminds me.
[00:15:58] Speaker B: I don't remember what it's called or it's like an area. It's like we get. We all go to here. But no, they, like. They, like, just shout out if you made it or not. And so.
[00:16:07] Speaker C: Wow. So you don't know until you're there.
[00:16:10] Speaker B: You don't know until listing the names out.
[00:16:12] Speaker C: Gosh.
[00:16:13] Speaker D: Yeah. So for any listeners unfamiliar with our tradition, you receive an email that you are being tapped into at one of the honor societies, Right? So like, one of the four senior honoraries.
And if you don't receive that email, then you're not getting tapped in. If you do, you know, you're at least getting one of them.
[00:16:35] Speaker B: Right.
[00:16:35] Speaker D: So. Right. But yeah, we will kind of circle back to some of these lower points in honors week in this next segment. Thank you guys for listening, and stay tuned to the BAMA Balance.
[00:17:07] Speaker B: Wvuafm, Tuscaloosa.
[00:17:10] Speaker A: This show is not a substitute for professional counseling, and no relationship is created between the show host or guests and any listener. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, we encourage you to contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective counties crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
[00:17:52] Speaker C: Welcome back, everybody, to the Bama Balance. And we're talking about achievements and the. The honors that come during honors week. Tapping on the mound. And, you know, for men, there's this notion. We kind of talked about this in the last segment, this notion of disappointment when you aren't tapped into an honor society or when you're not named for an achievement and kind of wanted to talk about that a little more because.
Because as you. As you guys were talking, what it brought up for me was, were themes again of, you know, competition for men and not wanting to lose and just wondering how much of that disappointment in not being tapped into an honor society or not being recognized during honors week. How much of that, you know, also feels like.
Like losing to somebody, like another competitive thing.
[00:18:54] Speaker D: Yeah, I. I'll talk about what I was thinking for last year, because I suppose Johnny didn't have the experience.
One for one. Let's go.
[00:19:08] Speaker B: Kind of very lucky.
[00:19:11] Speaker D: No, much, much deserved. But, yeah, it kind of. So it kind of felt like somebody was saying that all these individuals are more deserving of being honored than me.
You know, in retrospect, I'm a little embarrassed, like, feeling that way because I Don't think that's fair. And I think that everybody who got honored for that honor society definitely deserved it and like, is a great fit for it.
And not to go on too much of a tangent, but I've been like, trying to practice that, that feeling like especially through the law school application journey, job search type stuff where it's more recognizing that these people are great in their own right, different than me. And that's awesome that they, they got this recognition, this job, this offer to go to a great school. And that has nothing to do with like how valuable I am.
[00:20:14] Speaker C: I was just about to say that, Nick, how much of recognition is a part of self worth?
[00:20:19] Speaker B: Yeah, I feel like it's a lot. Yeah, I mean we're, we are our own main character in all of our stories. And so it feels like we deserve a lot. And a lot of us, we all do deserve a lot, obviously. But whenever it feels like others don't believe that as well, it's kind of earth shattering. It's like foreign to feel that, you know, your self worth doesn't feel appreciated.
I mean, I could speak to that. Not in, you know, not in terms of honors week, but, you know, just not getting into different organizations being told no is really hard. I mean, I had, I think, the best interview I've ever had for an organization on campus and walked out more confident than I've ever been in anything.
Called my dad. I was like, if they don't take me, I don't know who they take. And then got the email, didn't work out. And that was weird. That was probably, that was a pivotal moment for me where it was like, you know, what if, if I can give it my all and it's not going to work out, then it's probably not for the best and it's probably not, you know, worth my time to toil over and beat myself up.
Because at the end of the day, you're going to mess up. And I think to the people that are listening to this, that are, you know, freshmen, sophomore, juniors that are thinking about these honor societies so early in their academic career, it's okay to mess up. You're going to mess up. That is a part of the process. And beating yourself up is the last thing that you should do. Because I think if you, if you were to ask any of the guys or any, anybody that was a part of an honor society, I think you, they could, you know, give you more, more stories about the times they messed up than the times they succeeded.
And so it's important to go through the trials and tribulations of messing up. And, you know, as disappointing as it is, it's just not getting what you want sometimes and focusing your efforts into what's really going to make, you know, the biggest impact for yourself and for the people that actually want you around you is more important than, you know, faking being yourself around those that don't.
[00:22:30] Speaker D: Yeah, I think something that you said that really resonated with me was talking about, like, being yourself and it not working out. Like, I think early on in my college career, I was kind of disingenuous in these types of, like, presentations of myself where I was going into an interview, interviewing to, like, get the position shot, interviewing to, like, be myself, and parts in the law school process. Like, this year I've, like, felt myself doing that.
And I think that, like, comes across pretty easily. Like, especially for admissions counselors who do that for, like, a living, they're like, yeah, this just isn't him. Like, we can tell. Like, but I think that what feels the best is not getting.
Sorry, what doesn't feel the best is getting an organization not being your true self. What feels great is being unapologetically you and then being recognized for that and honored for that.
So there have been times that I wish I could go back and, like, you know, obviously I'm appreciative of my recognition throughout my time here, but there are times where I wish I could mend what I said to people and be like, this is actually who I am. Like, do you still want that type of thing?
[00:23:51] Speaker C: Oh, that 100%. I mean, if I translate that, something like that into an interview for a job, I can recall interviewing for two positions at different universities, a similar position. One interview I was not myself.
It wasn't genuine. And no surprise, I didn't get the offer. And I felt bad about that interview. Looking back on, I went. That just didn't feel right.
But the second interview, I thought, you know, I'm just going to be myself and here's what I have to offer.
Got made the offer. It was fantastic. So I think there's lessons about how to be your genuine self and how to align that genuine self with doing things that. That you also value and. And the achievement. So the achievements will come. Right? That's it.
[00:24:49] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:24:49] Speaker C: So it's not necessarily chasing after the achievements, but. But how do you align yourself, your values, with the things that you. The things you want to be involved with?
[00:24:59] Speaker B: That's. That's a good way to put it. The achievements Will come.
[00:25:02] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:25:02] Speaker B: I think for people. I know we talked about it, or I guess not we. I wasn't a part of it. But the whole hustle culture that you guys and Tyler talked about, it's a very real thing. And people get into organizations simply to be on their resume and another, you know, another talent mark to hopefully get them into an honor society. And I think it. I think being someone as Nick and I are, that are looking at applications, you know, that I don't see the names. I don't know what they're doing. I don't know who these people are.
If I see that they were a part of nine different things, I know exactly who I'm looking at. I know that I'm looking at a social climber, that someone that doesn't really care about the work they're doing, that only is doing that for this application. But if I see somebody that has maybe one experience, I remember specifically reading, you know, a few applications. So they have one experience, and they have so many stories about how that impacted their lives and impacted the lives of others. That's so much more resonating. That resonates so much more with me as someone that genuinely wants, you know, achieving and great people to be a part of, you know, the. The history that we have on this campus. It's so much more rewarding to do that as, like myself. I was kind of only in sga, honestly, and then loved every part of it. And so making friendships and stories and connections through that was kind of my main thing. And I knew that if I tried to do a lot of different, other things, that I wouldn't be able to harvest those. Harvest sounds like the word. The wrong word. But, you know, really cultivate those relationships to the best of my ability. And I think that's something that we can all kind of learn as we go forward out of college, but especially those that are listening, that are newer to this experience of getting involved that's really huge and something that I wish I knew.
[00:27:02] Speaker C: Well, I think the other thing that as Johnny, you and Nick have also talked about and as we've mentioned today, is how do you base those achievements? Like, you know, what's the foundation on which they rest? What are those values that. On which they rest for you? And, you know, we've kind of talked about this terminology of your North Star. How do you stay true to yourself and those values?
[00:27:28] Speaker D: I think, like, I was just thinking about that before you were asking, and, like, I don't want to get too philosophical about it, but, like, that's all. It's really all relative to like, you and your perspective on the world. Like, you know, I know Johnny, so I'll like, speak on his path a little bit. Like, you're a community builder. Like, you really care about the relationships that you form and like, I'm the same way. So, like, SGA was like a great place for us. Right. Some people prefer like the isolated work, but like really narrow, like research, for example, where it's like you're spending a lot of time by yourself in a lab or like, you know, looking things up. Yeah, sorry, that was like.
Yeah. Terribly uneloquent way to put that.
And like having a crazy impact. Right. Because that's getting pushed out to whomever.
And I think that like, the way that you kind of find that is, you know, that's guided by like, your interests and your happiness. Right. So, like, for me, I feel really happy when I, like, make a sincere relationship. And Johnny, I assume you do as well. Yeah. But for some people, it might be like making, you know, a lot of progress on this research about, you know, urban city planning. Like, I. I don't know.
But like. Yeah, I think that really the spark of what pulls you in is kind of like what. What can guide what you want to do and where you can make an impact.
[00:29:04] Speaker C: No, I think so much of what defines each person, and certainly has been what defines us, is our notion of self esteem.
And when that self esteem can be based on those kinds of internal qualities, those sets of values, wherever they're gained from, from family, friends, community, whatever those values are based on, to stay true to those sets of values as your foundation and let them be kind of the guide to achievements or activities. Not achievement activities, things you engage in and let the achievements come to you, not necessarily chasing the achievements, which I think can be sometimes difficult for men, because we're in this. It feels like we're always in this sort of competitive mode or which again, competition. Nothing wrong with competition. But when it impacts our self esteem and our sense of self worth, particularly if it leads to feelings of shame and embarrassment, that can get pretty difficult to deal with.
[00:30:09] Speaker D: What I think is like, cool about Alabama, but also the world generally is like, you can really make an impact in whatever environment that you want to, you know, and, you know, I might see like your work in, you know, biology research and not understand any of it and it could have like this huge, profound effect and like, that might make somebody feel upset, like, that. I don't recognize that. But like, you could be so smart and like a leader in your field and I wouldn't know. Right.
And I think that in this isolated setting of Alabama where like, people know about the things, it like, can sometimes feel like that if you're doing something off the beaten path a little bit. But like, in the grand scheme of how you're contributing to the world, like, or the community around you, like, your experience and the impact that you're making in this, like, more narrowly defined or less known thing is still extremely valuable and maybe even more valuable than like the type of work that's super public, you know, so that's wisdom right there. Well, just something that like, goes unappreciated and sometimes like, you know, you know, the Me and Johnny's that are grading the applications don't see that. Right. Like, and that goes unappreciated and leads to like, disappointment on honors day. Right. And that's not us trying to be, you know, undercutting of people's achievements. But like, that this on campus honors site, it doesn't necessarily mean that, like, your work isn't worth recognizing.
[00:31:45] Speaker C: That's right.
[00:31:46] Speaker D: So.
[00:31:46] Speaker C: That's right. Well said. Well said.
[00:31:49] Speaker D: Appreciate that.
[00:31:50] Speaker C: It's like the true philosopher that he is as well.
[00:31:55] Speaker D: That's what the degrees are. That's what the degree. I call myself the philosopher.
[00:31:59] Speaker C: No philosopher in training, I suppose.
[00:32:01] Speaker D: Yeah, maybe we've.
[00:32:03] Speaker C: So there's certainly a lot more that we can talk about. And this last segment will hope to sort of tie things up a bit before we end this episode, but still, stay with us. This is the BAMA Balance.
[00:32:30] Speaker B: Wvuafm Tuscaloosa.
[00:32:33] Speaker A: This show is not a substitute for professional counseling. And no relationship is created between the show hosts or guests and any listeners. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, we encourage you to contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective counties crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emerg.
[00:33:08] Speaker B: Foreign.
Hey y'all. Welcome back to the BAMA Balance. And as we wrap up this episode, I think what Dr. Perez ended last segment with talking about the North Star is really important.
So if you guys were to, you know, kind of put it into words, what do you think a North Star looks like for either students that are, you know, really high achievers, want these honor societies, or, you know, have never really heard of honors week? What do you think a North Star looks like, or, you know, what did it look like for you in your early years at Alabama? What does it look like now?
[00:33:47] Speaker D: I think for me, in embarrassingly, a little bit, when I started, it was like the Honoraries and like the chords and everything and like, chasing that or like chasing people that have done similar things and like, wanting to replicate that, but more so after growing up a little bit. I think in like, you know, my lived experiences, kind of shaping the way that I think about my role.
Just like, acting in a way that is helpful to my environment or like, aiding people in a way that, you know, I can really be helpful. That plays to, like, my strengths.
So, yeah, that's what I'm doing for my career, hopefully. It's like using my strengths to help people. So, yeah, yeah, I think that that's it.
[00:34:44] Speaker C: I, you know, this, this, this notion of following your North Star or true north is, you know, for me, has been listening to your calling, which doesn't necessarily reveal itself right away. I think for me, it's been. It's been a process of learning myself, knowing who I am and what my interests and values are, but then also, what are those things around me that I can be a part of their. Consistent with that, even in terms of being an undergraduate, finding those activities or organizations on campus that aligned with who I felt myself to be, who I saw myself to be, but also in careers, because the same thing can be true. You can find yourself chasing after a career that doesn't necessarily align with what your values are and.
And what your true north or what your North Star is. And so I think part of the work in college, and I think part of the work for college men is how to start that introspection.
How do you start that process of defining your values, defining how they fit into your vision of the world, and how they can help guide you to the life you want to live, the connections you want to have, and the relationships that are valuable.
[00:36:31] Speaker D: Yeah, I think my time of introspection has generally come during times that are really hard in my life, which I don't love that. Yeah, right. But, you know, things where either something's happened or like, I've just reached a breaking point type thing where it's like, this is not what I want, you know, and that's forced, that. But I think it's really valuable for younger people to have those conversations with yourself beforehand.
[00:37:04] Speaker C: Right.
[00:37:04] Speaker D: So maybe, maybe that's like just listening to somebody that's been there and like, so, you know, Dr. Prez encouraging you, like you to have these, these like conversations with yourself. But you know, I think that they naturally come.
And if you're not feeling happy with what you're doing or like who you're living your life out to be, like, maybe start having this conversation with yourself. Because I've been there and I'm a lot prouder of how I see myself now than before that introspection.
[00:37:40] Speaker C: Because you know, when you feel off course. Right. You know, when you're. You, like a friend of mine used to say, you know, Tony, you're 45 degrees off right rudder. Where, where have you gone off? And it was really, it's. And it's a great reminder for me to know that, that if I'm feeling off course, I need to stop, take a step back and consider where am I off course? What is not what doesn't feel like aligned with my values or how have I sort of strayed a bit off course and that then that can happen anytime. I think, you know, one of the things that, that was valuable, it's still valuable for me is to take time to, to kind of reflect back, to think on, you know, how has.
Have my activities for the day stayed aligned with my true north, my North Star? Have I, in what ways have I maybe strayed off a bit and what ways do I need to come back on course? I don't know if I told you guys this, but as part of, as part of spring break, I did this like short, like a two day retreat.
[00:38:50] Speaker D: In New Orleans. Yeah.
[00:38:51] Speaker C: No, not in New Orleans. No, that was, I would call that a retreat.
[00:38:55] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:38:57] Speaker C: That was after the retreat. It was, it was a two day retreat up in Tennessee.
[00:39:01] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:39:02] Speaker C: And doing some hiking and some just stepping back and reflecting on, you know, what this semester has been like. And, but it was good, intentional time. But it's time like that that allowed me to think through, you know, what has been present in my life and what, to what degree have I sort of stayed on track and followed the things that were true to me and, and it was such a valuable time to, to do that. I wish I had another day for that too. But then I followed that up with a conference in New Orleans, which is sort of the antithesis of variety.
[00:39:41] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:39:43] Speaker C: But that's good to do.
[00:39:45] Speaker B: I think something for me that has been important is like, I don't know if I could really call it a North Star, but it's, you know, something similar that's kind of helped me stay grounded throughout my time at UA is just not taking Myself so seriously. I think more times than not I'm caught up with schoolwork or extracurricular work and feel like it's the end of the world if I don't complete it or it's not perfect. And I think it takes a lot out of me whenever it's, you know, my entire focus and whenever I do take a step back. And your retreat kind of made me think of that, where you're, you know, you're with nature, you're outside of yourself, really just present. And whenever you're present is when you don't take yourself so seriously. You're. I always would tell myself, like, you know, Johnny, you're in college. And, and if I could, I can guarantee you that majority of people's mistakes happen in this four year time period that you're going through right now. You're not going to be perfect and nobody's expecting you to be perfect. And that's what I would always struggle with, that if I don't do this, then they're going to think of me differently for the rest of my college tenure. When it's completely the opposite. If you're honest with them, honest with whoever it is, you know, someone that you're reporting to or something that you maybe missed a deadline with with, I mean, they get it. Everybody gets. Everybody's been through what you're going through. Maybe not specifically, but they understand.
But giving yourself grace is super important. And especially with, you know, honors Week. Giving yourself grace and understanding that if you're true to yourself, if you have a solid North Star, then like you said, the achievements will come, the honors will come. And as you alluded to after your college career, if you are worried about money, if you do what you love, money will come. This, you know, this too shall pass. You know, whatever you kind of want to hold on to, you know, everything will come if you stay true to what you really believe in and what your core values are. And I truly do believe that. And, and unless you guys have any closing words, I think this has been a really insightful podcast and I hope that all the listeners have a great honors week. It really is an exciting time on campus and it's so awesome to see those who are deserving of recognition get it.
And I want all of our listeners to know that we've been through the highs and lows of all the college experiences or, you know, majority of them, and we're proud of you and again, hope you have a great honors week. This has been the Bama Balance. Real stories about College Men's Mental Health I'm Nick Smith.
[00:42:36] Speaker C: I'm Dr. Tony Perez.
[00:42:37] Speaker B: That is not the outro that I'm used to. I'm Johnny Foster by the way.
[00:42:41] Speaker C: See you guys next time.
[00:42:57] Speaker B: Wvuafm Tuscaloosa this show was not intended.
[00:43:01] Speaker A: As a substitute for professional counseling. Further, the views, opinions and conclusions expressed by the show hosts or their guests are their own and not necessarily those of the University of Alabama, its officers or trustees. Any views, opinions or conclusions shared on the show do not create a relationship between the host or any guests in any listener and such a relationship should never be inferred. If you feel you're in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, please contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective county's crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
