Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: This show is not a substitute for professional counseling and no relationship is created between the show host or guests and any listener. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, we encourage you to contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective counties crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
[00:00:41] Speaker B: Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the Bama Balance. Real stories about college, men's mental health and Happy finals week.
[00:00:47] Speaker C: Happy finals week.
[00:00:49] Speaker B: Yeah, this is exciting. Starting to wrap up for me and Johnny getting close to the end of our college careers last finals week.
[00:00:57] Speaker D: It's a bittersweet but glad that all my finals are behind. I guess not all of them. I guess I got some for grad school. I didn't even think about that last Alabama finals week. So, yeah, a little bittersweet, but what's standing in.
[00:01:12] Speaker B: In the way of walking across the stage on Saturday for you? Yeah, that's.
[00:01:17] Speaker D: Yeah, I've been looking forward to wearing the cap and gown, but then I'm like, I have a huge presentation that I have to give on Friday that I just would rather not do.
I think I'm so checked out at this point, as most graduating seniors are.
But it's the one last thing that you got to do. So I feel like I got to end it off on the right note as well, you know, having done it for the past three.
[00:01:50] Speaker B: Well, what I keep telling myself for this, like, really, this whole semester is like, last time you got to do it, you know, Like, I mean, obviously that's not really true for the two of us because we're going to, like, grad school, but last time I have to, like, read a philosophy paper or whatever.
[00:02:06] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:02:06] Speaker B: So same for you. No, I was gonna say same for you for a business case, but, yeah, you very much have a bunch of those.
[00:02:12] Speaker D: I got a lot of those coming up, unfortunately.
Yeah.
Like we were talking about, it is bittersweet. And the more I think about that, I'm going to have to be doing, you know, so many more finals weeks.
[00:02:25] Speaker B: It's a little depressing.
[00:02:29] Speaker D: No. For everybody listening. It's, you know, there's a bunch of different ways that you can attack finals week, and I think we're going to go through all those in the episode. And finals and dead week are two very opposite weeks in terms of liveliness on campus, and that's kind of something that we'll explore too. So. So I'm excited to kind of get into that with you guys.
[00:02:48] Speaker B: Yeah. What's finals week like for you, Dr. Perez?
[00:02:51] Speaker C: Yeah, finals week is, you know, for me, it's a little bit of everything. One, it's wrapping things up with different groups or student orgs that I've been involved with. And it's also a time to wrap up with some different projects for the year and different responsibility. So it's all around performance evaluations from different areas and things of that sort. But also, finals week is very sentimental, Melancholy, maybe even, at least on this end.
I don't miss taking finals.
[00:03:35] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:03:36] Speaker D: I think you're the popular.
[00:03:38] Speaker C: Yeah, I don't miss that.
But I do miss being a student and being in that student experience now kind of where I am.
I'll miss the students who are going to be graduating.
And I'm not going to get too sentimental here. I don't want to leave that for another episode or two.
But, you know, for me, it's also surreal hearing the both of you and other students that I work with talk about leaving because, you know, I've known you for the last couple of years anyway and some other students for the last two or three years. So it's really. It is very surreal, but also exciting to know kind of what's coming up for the both of you. And I'm very excited about what lies ahead for. For the both of you in grad school.
[00:04:33] Speaker B: Oh, we appreciate that.
[00:04:35] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:04:35] Speaker B: We'll be familiar faces, I'm sure.
[00:04:37] Speaker C: Right. Well, you both be in the acc, which is kind of a neat thing.
[00:04:41] Speaker B: That's right. That's right. I'll be texting the Duke Virginia game. That's right.
[00:04:46] Speaker D: Yeah. Neither of us would really care that much, I guess, who wins. Yeah, It'd be kind of bragging rights.
[00:04:52] Speaker C: That's right.
[00:04:52] Speaker B: Right.
[00:04:53] Speaker C: No.
[00:04:53] Speaker B: Glad that Duke had their flags here this year and not the years that you're going to be there.
[00:04:59] Speaker C: He's a monster.
[00:05:00] Speaker D: We got the Boozer twins coming in and they're going to be insane at Carlos Boozer.
[00:05:05] Speaker C: Their dad played in the NBA.
[00:05:06] Speaker D: I don't know. I'm a big NBA fan. Yeah, they. He's got two twins who are insane that are going to be there next year, so I'm excited for that. They have a. I think I've told you all this. They have a. They have a grad student game. You know, the Cameron Crazies, they camp out for the games for like days, weeks. They have a grad student game that only graduate students can camp out for the certain games. I'm kind of leaning towards camping out with hopefully some buddies that I make and doing that. So I'm excited for that.
[00:05:35] Speaker B: Well, as we're finishing up, looking forward to our years to come, we'll kind of give some insight on the week that lies ahead for all the listeners. So stick around. This has been the BAMA Balance.
[00:06:05] Speaker A: Wvuafm, Tuscaloosa. This show is not a substitute for professional counseling and no relationship is created between the show hosts or guests and any listener. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, we encourage you to contact the UA Counseling center at 348-386. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective counties crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
[00:06:48] Speaker D: Hey, y'all. Welcome back.
As Nick promised, we're going to be talking about finals week and dead week and all that wrapped into one. And so for this first segment, we're going to kind of look back, Nick and I, as to what our finals weeks of the past have looked like. So, Nick, if you could, if you could even remember, what did your, what did your freshman year, your first finals week even feel like, look like?
[00:07:12] Speaker B: I feel like I was really anxious because of, like, what to, like, not knowing what to expect.
I, I think my hardest class and still like the hardest class that I've taken here for me, like, was calculus. And I know some of the listeners are like, this guy has to be an idiot. Calculus was his most difficult thing. Or you think philosophy is like, super easy, which power to you. But I, like, was really stressed because I needed like, whatever grade to get, like, you know, the grade that I wanted and not knowing if, like, I was doing enough at that point or like, how I should spend my time.
But I recall, like dead week, like, just not doing any of it. Like, I was, I was like, yo, this going to be a problem for next week, right? Should not have done that. Did not get the grade I was hoping for on that calculus final.
What about you? How was your freshman year?
[00:08:17] Speaker D: Yeah, I mean, so many different emotions in high school. I was kind of the person that tests would come very easily to me in schoolwork, at least where I didn't really study for most much of anything other than like the ACT and high school. And then I, I somewhat learned how to study throughout my first Semester of freshman year, but to really prepare for so many finals in one week. I. I really had no idea what I was doing. And so not only did I not really know how to study, but I was so scared because they gave us that whole week to prepare. It felt like, you know, they were preparing us for doomsday.
[00:08:54] Speaker C: It's a lot of time.
[00:08:55] Speaker D: It's so much time. And so, I don't know, I tried to go to as many office hours as I could. I'm actually lost lying. I didn't do that. I don't know why I'm saying that.
[00:09:04] Speaker C: I did not do that.
[00:09:06] Speaker D: No, that's mom and dad that are listening.
Cut that out.
No, but like you were saying, there was kind of that over looming expectation with the grades. Like I had to get this. To get this letter grade or something. And so a lot of the teachers have those calculation, you know, spreadsheets.
[00:09:25] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:09:26] Speaker D: If you make this, then you can get this and stuff. And one thing, one piece of advice that I would give is do not take the drop test for granted. I think I did that with every class freshman year.
[00:09:38] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:09:38] Speaker D: Where it was like, look, I've got, I've got a date party on Thursday, test is on Friday, and I've got, you know, a bunch of work in other classes. I'll just take the drop test on that week and just take my final. But when that all adds up to you taking five finals in one week, two in one day, or like, you know, two and two days back to back, that really sucks.
[00:10:00] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:10:00] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:10:01] Speaker D: I think, I think looking out for your future self is something that I learned after my freshman year and hopefully, or not hopefully, something that I did implement into my sophomore. Granted, I had to use a drop test for a few of them not because I wanted to, but because I just didn't score as well as I thought. You know, that freshman year, that first semester, freshman year was. Was crazy. Not only was everything new around me, but the whole way in which I went about school was completely different. Where I could pick and choose what classes I could go to. I only had two classes a day or three at most. That was just odd. And so breaking that mold of, you know, the kind of militaristic class from 8 to 3 every day in high school to kind of, you know, more of a laid back, organizational aspect to it was. Was challenging. It's something that I think as the time went on, got a lot easier to balance.
[00:10:56] Speaker B: Yeah, I agree. I think that, like, especially that first year here, I had a really Hard time of, like, policing my study habits and, like, would do all the things that my teachers told me not to because I was like, people have been telling me for, like, my whole life, this is how you're supposed to do. And it's worked up until now. And then it stopped working, like, when I got to college. So definitely, like, figuring out how to study.
But even more so for me, not actually, like, doing the studying, but, like, managing the time of studying was really difficult because, like, what you're saying, having. Especially those early years when.
Sorry, speaking from, like, somebody who takes a bunch of seminars now where, like, it's mostly paper writing. Like, those first few years were a lot of tests. So, like, having the exams on the same day was, like, really overwhelming. For sure.
[00:11:49] Speaker C: There's a lot to have to transition to. That first year finals week coming at the end of the year is a major transition. Is it based on kind of what your experiences are?
Is that transition or managing that transition different for college men than it is for women? Like freshmen college men and freshman women?
[00:12:14] Speaker B: I think it's hard for me to say either way because obviously I don't have the experience of a woman. But I think that, like, we've talked about this a lot in other episodes, but, like, the idea of competition or like, I think that everybody feels like, social influence to, like, maybe stop studying or whatever. But, like, just my experience.
Like, I had difficulty, especially early on, being able to say no to like, skipping out on the books or whatever. I'm sure women feel that way as well. But, like, just speaking to what I know, you know, being in the fraternity house, like, with a bunch of. Bunch of guys who, like, want to play pool or ping pong, like, that usually pulled me away from my studies pretty easily early on.
[00:13:11] Speaker D: It does feel like women have a lot of it together more than us.
[00:13:15] Speaker B: Yeah, sure.
[00:13:16] Speaker D: So it was pretty easy for me to skip out on studying. Being surrounded by a bunch of guys that were not as too keen on their grades and how their grades ended up.
And yeah, I skipped that on studying a few times. But also I. I think it's important to balance that studying aspect. I think with anything, balance is good.
If you're doing too much studying, then it's not even beneficial to a certain point. I think this is me saying this. This has no basis really in any kind of factual stuff. But what I've learned is with anything that's really grueling, you deserve some time off. And while it may feel like, you know, the entire, you know, maybe you haven't read anything for a certain class and you feel like you have to read it all. If you read it all in one sitting, you're not going to get it. You're going to have to break it up. You're going to have to do something that at the end of the day is going to be beneficial while also satisfying your kind of relaxation at some point.
[00:14:28] Speaker B: Yeah, right. I think that there's like a big idea of stress that comes in with finals week. Like, I think that we've all kind of like mentioned it in a roundabout way, but I think that learning how to deal with that stress is really important not only for your academic success. Right. You don't perform well when you're stressed, but also for your mental health. Like, I don't know, making gains in your mental health of like, you know, being able to do things that are difficult but like not eating you up.
[00:15:04] Speaker C: Sure. There is this sort of naivete I think, right, as you guys have mentioned, about, you know, coming in that first year, not really knowing how one to manage time, not knowing a lot about what college is about and what it needs to be. And then, you know, managing finals both in the fall semester and now at the end of the academic year is sort of that next level of how to adjust and transition. Is it, has it been different for you like from that freshman year to sophomore, junior, senior year now, like the stress or the process?
[00:15:44] Speaker B: Certainly for me I think everything is different than like that first year.
Naturally your classes get harder. I think like my most stressful year was last year, junior year, taking like all my major accounting courses while also doing upper level philosophy classes, which was like really mentally exhausting having to use both sides of, of like my curriculum.
But I think that a lesson that I've like learned through getting all the way up to that point is that like at the end of the day it's gonna work out to the best that I can do. Right. Like I.
There's a cap of effort that I am willing to put in or even able to put in and like trying to exceed that is just like not gonna be beneficial to my mental health.
But also it's likely to have like marginal effects on my, on my academic success. Like if I study from 5am to my test like in the following day at like 9:30. Right. And I've done that before, like spent you know, 30 hours on something. Like the difference between me doing 5am to that test and the difference from me doing 5 to 7:30 or like even 5 to 5, like it's not gonna really produce something that crazy of a difference, you know, like, so I think, like, finding that balance kind of like what Johnny said is important. And that's, like, the biggest lesson I've learned through my finals weeks is, like, prioritize the things that your body needs, like food, sleep, like, spending time with your friends when you have the opportunity to.
But that looks different for. For everybody.
[00:17:42] Speaker C: For you, Johnny?
[00:17:44] Speaker D: Yeah, I mean, it definitely has changed. I think it's a good change, though.
Freshman year is a whole lot of newness. And so with that, you become familiar with your routine, what you're needed, what is needed of you to do to perform well.
And I think it's important for me to understand or has been important for me to understand as time has gone, what I really need to focus in on. If it's, you know, certain concepts that I don't understand. I realized that, like, throughout the year, I really understand, or maybe the lack thereof, understanding, like, hey, maybe I need to focus on this whenever finals comes around.
That's been something that I've kind of keyed in on about myself throughout the past three years, almost four. Right. I'd say that's probably the biggest thing and not taking that drop test for granted. Like I said, trying to do as well as I can on literally everything. So that, that finals, that. That final isn't such a big, you know, burden, you know, cross to bear. So, yeah, I mean, finals week looks different for everybody. And we're going to continue to talk about kind of how our finals weeks have gone throughout our years. Maybe, Dr. Perez, if you can remember your finals weeks.
[00:19:04] Speaker C: Oh, I can.
[00:19:05] Speaker D: Okay, well, we'll get the next segment. This has been the VAMA Balance.
[00:19:25] Speaker A: Wvuafm Tuscaloosa. This show is not a substitute for professional counseling. And no relationship is created between the show hosts or guests and any listener. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, we encourage you to contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective counties crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency.
[00:20:09] Speaker C: Welcome back, everybody. This is Obama Balance. And just sort of continuing on this conversation of finals week, lessons learned. And Johnny, you had asked me last segment about if I remembered my finals. And.
And looking back on it, I think my hardest finals were during my sophomore year. Sophomore year was kind of tough. Yeah, but I Also think in part, as we had talked earlier, that was the time I picked up a second major. So I was a biology theology major. And I think in my head I was trying to balance out two different styles of exam taking and exam studying. So it's just different. It was a different way of studying for me. I still found it pretty challenging though. I don't know that I learned more sophomore year about how to best take finals when I was a freshman. Other than, other than for me, all nighters didn't work. I don't know if you've had to experience that, but for me it just didn't work. I had a couple experiences with it and I said no more.
[00:21:20] Speaker D: Yeah. I'm not much of a marathon studier myself. How about you?
[00:21:25] Speaker B: I unfortunately am.
Yeah, I.
For the listeners, please don't do this. And for anybody who's listening that might care about like my academic habits, just like skip this next part. But like I usually would just not like junior year, would not pay attention in class or like do the extra work that I was supposed to do until like a week before the exam. And then it would be like, yes, learning like. Yes, essentially like a third of a semester in a week and trying to.
[00:22:01] Speaker C: Cram it all down.
[00:22:02] Speaker B: Yeah. Really hard and lost a lot of sleep on the times that I haven't done that where I've like spaced it out and did what I was supposed to and was a good student. The actual semester, it was a lot easier. So.
[00:22:15] Speaker C: Right.
[00:22:16] Speaker B: But that's to say if you're in a place where you might be learning a whole semester worth of work this week, it's possible just maybe in the future semesters take it easy, you'll be challenged.
Pay more attention in the middle of the semester.
[00:22:34] Speaker C: Isn't it easy to look back now?
[00:22:38] Speaker D: Right.
[00:22:38] Speaker C: And to say, gosh, you know, this worked well and this didn't work so well for me and here's what I do over again. What are things I do over again? More things I wouldn't do.
[00:22:48] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:22:48] Speaker C: But knowing that now, certainly I think.
[00:22:50] Speaker B: That this year, I mean, I've kind of taken my foot off the gas.
I think Johnny and I are both similar in that our senior years aren't too, too hard.
We have a few more classes to finish up. But with that it being a little bit easier, I've been able to kind of like focus on my habits a little bit more where I'm like more intentionally like getting my work done and then like calling it quits at 6:30 or whatever. So I can like eat dinner, hang out with people and then like go to sleep at a decent time.
And that has shown a lot of improvements in like how I'm just feeling like it's easier to feel joy when I'm like well rested or like during the night where it's like it's 6:30 and I close my laptop and I can feel at peace with that because like I'm, I'm working well throughout.
[00:23:42] Speaker D: But yeah, yeah, I was gonna, I was gonna ask you kind of answered that like how your mental health, how that is different in the different extremes of attacking finals. And I think that's, that was kind of like the biggest thing for me was during those crammed finals weeks or dead weeks, whenever I wasn't prepared going into the final, wasn't prepared going into dead week, and felt that I had so much on my plate, it didn't matter how much I studied that day, but whenever I closed my eyes, try to go to sleep, these ideas were running through my head that, you know, it wasn't going to work out, you didn't study enough. You need to get up as soon as you can in the morning and study all day. And so like I would get, you know, terrible sleep, not even, you know, take any breaks for myself because it felt like there was this over living pressure that was just made for myself.
But similar just you just said when it's the opposite, it, it really is a sense of peace that feels. You feel not only proud of yourself for knowing the, knowing the concepts, knowing the formulas or whatever it may be, but you also can go to sleep satisfied with the amount of work you knew or studied that day. It's a whole different program and something that is that I try to strive for. And every time I come across either, either whether it's not even finals week, whether it's just like midterms, catching up on everything that I need to be caught up on to feel adequate and feel, you know, mentally, you know, at peace.
[00:25:14] Speaker C: Right.
[00:25:14] Speaker B: Yeah, it definitely gives me like a level of confidence too. Okay.
Like on the days where it's been all nighters and then like I'm taking my exam after not sleeping, I like, I think that everybody's felt this at least once. But like, you look at the exam, don't know the answer to the first question immediately and you're like, golly, like I am not in a good spot for this.
But like that would always happen to me after the all nighters and I, I was just so exhausted. And then like after finishing the exam, it was never like sigh of relief. It was just like everything, like caught up to where I was just exhausted.
[00:25:54] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:25:54] Speaker B: And like, didn't really want to speak to anybody. Like, went home, went to sleep, you know, 18 hours. Like it caught up.
But you know, when, when I've been able to pace it out, like last semester, the finals week, I did like a pretty decent job of managing my time and like getting good rest and still being able to like, see the people I wanted to see.
[00:26:18] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:26:20] Speaker B: And when I finished, it was like, no, like I felt happy that I was done and proud of myself for getting through it. But it was like, not really hitch in my day. It wasn't like, this is what I have to do today and that's over. But I got to like enjoy the day after. Which I think is an important thing to think about when you're kind of considering how to go about testing your exam.
[00:26:43] Speaker C: I gotta say, you know, one of the things that I've noticed just as we've talked about, you know, recalling our own finals week experiences, is that as I look back at my experiences, I don't know that I had the language of how this impacts my mental health as much as the two of you do or as much as students now have. I think there's a greater awareness of how different stresses affect mental health and even ways to cope with it. But I don't think. I certainly didn't have that language, you know, knew how I felt if I bombed an exam or if I didn't do too well on exam or if I just come off of an all nighter. Just felt like it was terrible.
[00:27:32] Speaker B: Yeah, right.
[00:27:33] Speaker D: Well, I didn't know that I had that language until we really did this.
It seems so simplistic, but when you really take a step back and really think about it and put it into words and speak it out, you're like, okay, this is how I get it. Like me saying I feel bad after studying for eight, four, eight hours plus.
[00:27:55] Speaker C: Right.
[00:27:55] Speaker D: Like, it's so stupid. But I wouldn't have really recognized that and like made, you know, concessions to not do that if I didn't have that talk with myself.
It seems super, you know, elementary and whatever, but I mean, college is a time for you to really mess up and understand. Like, hey, you, you have a lot of chances here. But it's also a time to develop good habits because without developing those good habits, you'll have to develop them, you know, beyond which isn't really attractive to either future employers or wherever it may be.
But it's the time to understand what is best for you and by being honest with yourself and like saying, yeah, I went through that and like, I did okay, but I don't want to feel like that again. I want to feel confident in myself and stuff we were just talking about. And so that's what I've tried to imply or put into my life.
[00:28:48] Speaker B: I think like, sorry, I messed up with my, my headphones just then. For me, that sounded like boing. Like, yeah, sorry, we didn't hear it.
Anyway, for what it sounds like we're all kind of saying is like the, the good habits or the bad habits, like, that's what leads to the consequence of like the mental health effect.
And I think that like, that's an important thing to consider when we're talking about like finals week. This is how you can successfully do it. But what do y'all think? For like, the listeners, maybe things didn't go as they planned. They didn't, you know, they really wanted to get up the steam to do the work, but didn't feel like they could until the day before.
Like, how do we rebound as students, like, after something that's really tough that exams brought on?
[00:29:42] Speaker C: Yeah, I think it's so it's tough. Exam week can be a tough and stressful time.
And I think if you approach exam week without having those reserves of wellness or. Right. Mental health, those mental health reserves already stored up, then I think it can be even more of a challenge. And I guess what I mean by that is mental health reserves, meaning that you have a sense of confidence about you that's healthy.
You're not always looking for those external sources of validation, but you have a sense of who you are. Here's my self worth as defined not just by grades, but by other things, internal as well. So I think those reserves, those mental health reserves and wellness reserves can help. I again, and I say that now, but I didn't have the language for it at the time. And so, you know, I don't know how I even approached vinyls. It was certainly without that awareness, I'll tell you that.
[00:30:56] Speaker B: Yeah, I think like times that I've gotten grades back that I wasn't happy about or like carried things out the way that I really wasn't hoping to like pulling all nighters or whatever. I think like, I've faced that initial sadness and that's taken some like, getting over, like say I get, you know, a bad grade on a test. I'm like, dang, that stinks. I worked so Hard to, like, make sure that this didn't happen and then it did. And like, I think that it's natural to be upset about that. Right. Like, I think all of us, I think it's appropriate to, to be upset if you fail, fail a test. But I think not letting that define you, like, what you're saying of, like, you're not a 50 on your econ test. Right. You're, you know, whoever you are who might have not done as well on a test.
[00:31:48] Speaker C: Right.
[00:31:48] Speaker B: So.
[00:31:49] Speaker C: Right.
[00:31:49] Speaker D: Yeah. Funny enough, I actually was the 50 on my econ test. That was my worst grade on my final. Yeah, it was in one of my econ class. I despised econ.
[00:31:59] Speaker C: Oh my gosh.
[00:32:00] Speaker D: I ended up barely passing the class. And I mean, it was just the death of me. I, I. And it was one of the classes where I would set time out, I'd study, I'd do all the right things and it would just would never work out. And I remember we, I was, I was on a trip with some of my friends. This is in December.
Like, our finals came in and like, I had to get a pretty bad score to pass the class, but, like, I thought I did well, and I got like two points above the bad score. And I was like, I mean, I passed the class, but like, at the same time, like, you know.
[00:32:36] Speaker C: I thought.
[00:32:36] Speaker D: I did a lot better. And so that was like a disappointing time. And it, it does take a lot to, to I think no matter what happens, if you get a bad grade, it, it, it's not a good feeling.
[00:32:48] Speaker B: Yeah, right.
[00:32:48] Speaker D: I think you can come in with as much preparation and, you know, be as mentally, you know, positive as you can, but at the end of the day, it stinks.
[00:32:58] Speaker C: It does.
[00:32:58] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:32:59] Speaker D: So combating that is different for everybody. And, But I think at the end of the day, understanding that grades don't define you and walk as it happens in the moment, it's hard not to think that they do.
[00:33:11] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:33:12] Speaker D: But college is all about, like I said, making mistakes. And at the end of the day, one class is. GPA will get washed out by the rest of them.
[00:33:21] Speaker C: Right. And it's, I think also too that, you know, being honest with yourself. I remember one organic chemistry test. Right. Again, I was. That was a 50 as well.
[00:33:36] Speaker B: If that's how I was losing.
[00:33:37] Speaker C: This was not good.
[00:33:38] Speaker B: Like, doubled my.
[00:33:39] Speaker C: This was not good. But the tough question that I had to ask myself at that point, I remember this is, did I do my best?
Did I do my best? Now, luckily, it wasn't final but did I do my best to prep for this test and if I go back and Which I did, and I think about it, there was more I could have done.
[00:34:01] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:34:01] Speaker C: You know, I could have.
And what got me was that I could have, you know, gone to the professor for some extra help.
[00:34:10] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:34:10] Speaker C: But I didn't because again, it said that's help seeking thing that just gets. That gets in the way.
[00:34:16] Speaker D: Totally. Yeah. I think being vulnerable as men is really hard. And saying that, yeah, I need help with this.
[00:34:22] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:34:22] Speaker D: I don't understand this especially it's. It's hard whenever your friends are in the class too, and they all get it for sure. You can't, it's. You can't say you don't because right then you're, you know, what are you doing? Stupid, you mean? Yeah.
[00:34:35] Speaker C: Oh, can't you get this?
[00:34:36] Speaker D: Don't.
[00:34:36] Speaker C: You know? Right.
[00:34:37] Speaker D: And I think in addition to that, the teachers and the professors, they want to help and I'd say 99.9% of them are wanting you to do better in their class than you currently are.
[00:34:50] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:34:51] Speaker D: And I didn't understand that until my junior year. And God, gosh, I wish I. I wish I did because in those classes that I was struggling and it felt like a personal. Felt like I was so alone in that struggle when why, I don't know why I didn't go to the person who's literally teaching it, who knows it frontwards and backwards to help me instead of me struggling with it by myself. That's something that I would encourage. Just maybe it's not your professor. Maybe it's someone who knows the topic better or being vulnerable with your friend that gets it.
Don't be alone in that struggle.
Find people that want to help because I can guarantee you there are those people.
[00:35:28] Speaker B: Yeah. I wanted to add something on to what you said, Dr. Prez.
Abby was telling me, like, so you're talking about doing your best. Right. And for a lot of us, that seems really like linear, set in stone. Like, this is my best, this is my standard. Right.
And for that might be like quantitative for like a lot of people where it's like a 90 is like what I'm going to get and like, that's my best or like, you know, hours spent. Right. But I think that your best is relative to like your days. Right. So like, sometimes my best is like I get out of bed and I like go on a walk and then hang out for the rest of the day because that's like the capacity that I can Offer.
And, you know, during crunch time, that's really stressful. But, like, pushing yourself past the capacity to where you're feeling like you can do this, like, that's what, for me, causes a lot of mental turmoil where it's like, I'm spread thin. This is really hard. Like, these are really big feelings. And then that's what becomes my problem, not the test that I have.
[00:36:38] Speaker C: Right.
[00:36:38] Speaker B: Like, I'm focused on how terribly I'm feeling about the test that I have.
[00:36:43] Speaker C: Yes. Yes. Or how I somehow can't. And how I somehow can't meet whatever in my head I've constructed as my best. But by realizing that my best is what I have capacity for at that given time. So if I go back and again and I look at this and look at that test again, it's so fresh again, I can sort of relive it. But that question of, did I do my best?
What I didn't do my best at was asking for help.
[00:37:13] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:37:13] Speaker C: Right.
And. And so it wasn't necessarily the effort put into the study, but it was almost a wasted time studying what I didn't really understand. I had a difficult time understanding.
[00:37:27] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:37:28] Speaker C: You know, and also there's something about, you know, did I do my best? There's. There's also an assumption, at least for me at that time, was, did I do my best to satisfy my parents and all these other external things, which is another source of stress.
[00:37:48] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:37:51] Speaker C: It requires you to kind of be pretty honest with yourself. And so I think, you know, best is being honest with yourself, knowing what you can do. Your capacity for the moment. Right. And being okay with it and finding support if.
If needed.
[00:38:07] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:38:08] Speaker C: Needed to on that. No, I think that's. Those are important messages. Hopefully we pass along some of that knowledge to everybody that's listening this last segment. I know. As we wrap up this episode, we'll try to make sense of all that we've talked about and pass along our words of wisdom. So.
[00:38:32] Speaker B: Stuff.
[00:38:33] Speaker C: Stay with us. This is the BAMA Balance.
[00:38:50] Speaker A: Wvuafm, Tuscaloosa. This show is not a substitute for professional counseling and no relationship is created between the show host or guests and any listener. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, we encourage you to contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective counties crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency.
[00:39:34] Speaker B: Everybody, if you made it this far, thank you for sticking around. In this last segment here, we're probably gonna just kind of sum up everything up.
So, Dr. Perez, sorry I'm messing up. This is the second time I recorded that intro.
[00:39:52] Speaker C: I think what's happening is that this is sort of slap happy fatigue at the end of the semester. Right. And you know, when you get tired, you just get slap happy and kind of whatever it is, just not nonsensical. But things aren't as serious anymore.
[00:40:08] Speaker B: Right.
[00:40:09] Speaker C: At the end of the semester. But we were just talking at the break about how some of the things we've talked about in terms of how to maintain your mental health during exam week is almost a culmination of what we've talked about this season in terms of not trying not to define your whole self by external kinds of accomplishments or things and how it can be a struggle sometimes to seek help and to lean on others. And really that's all of what's happening now during finals week is kind of a lessons learned.
And how can I better lean on friends? Or how can I better approach my own way of asking for help? How can I approach my own view of myself as not entirely defined by my tests or all my accomplishments kind of thing?
And as we talked about before, it is about a sense of balance. So like as Johnny would say, the Bama balance.
Roll Tide, baby.
[00:41:13] Speaker D: Here we go.
[00:41:13] Speaker C: That's right.
[00:41:14] Speaker B: That's good, right?
[00:41:15] Speaker C: That's it. That's it, man. It's all about that.
[00:41:18] Speaker D: Anytime you make a pun like that, I'm just gonna do that. So we have a little soundboard that we really haven't used this entire time that we've done this podcast. But you have the. We have them little mix saving sound.
[00:41:29] Speaker C: But you, you were reaching for that thing. I knew exactly what you were doing. I was like, he's gonna go for it. That's awesome.
[00:41:33] Speaker B: It's either that or the rim shot. Yeah, that's it.
[00:41:37] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:41:38] Speaker B: Sorry.
[00:41:40] Speaker D: We're a little trigger happy with the soundboard all of a sudden.
[00:41:44] Speaker C: It's almost. It's finals week. That's it.
[00:41:46] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:41:46] Speaker D: Literally, we're all like just at our wits end.
[00:41:48] Speaker C: Yeah, I know, I know. But it is, I think it is too, about. Right. Lessons learned from how you maintain your mental health as a man and remembering all those things during finals week.
[00:42:02] Speaker B: Yeah, Yeah.
[00:42:03] Speaker D: I think for a lot of people, the two words or the two phrases, exam week and mental health don't mix. And I think I thought that For a while, where you have to sacrifice your mental health in order to have a good exam week. And that is so far from the case, actually. They should go hand in hand.
And mental health should be prioritized during exam week more than any time, or not more than any time, but, you know, should definitely be kept in check during this time as opposed to a normal college week. It's a stressful time. There's no really way around it. And so as we go into this week, I encourage all the listeners that are taking exams this week. I give you good luck and again to prioritize your mental health and know what best suits you. And if you really don't know, then, you know, do whatever you can to prepare and maybe heed our advice, our do's and don'ts. We're not, you know, perfect and as we've shown, but do whatever you think is best for yourself. And if it doesn't work, then, you know, life is all about making corrections. And that's what college is all about. And we learned that our freshman year that we shouldn't do what we did freshman year. Again, that's why we're doing this podcast, to try to help people that are going through our same experiences.
[00:43:22] Speaker B: Yeah, for sure. I won't add too much. Just want to encourage all the listeners to, you know, celebrate your wins this week, don't think too much about the losses happens and life's going to carry on for sure.
[00:43:37] Speaker C: That's right. That's right.
[00:43:38] Speaker B: But otherwise, just, you know, enjoy your time while you have it. For us, probably going to be looking for opportunities to celebrate our. Our last few or less like week.
[00:43:48] Speaker C: Yeah, I guess. Yeah, it's. It's time. Time is wrapping up. I was just thinking too that, you know, you guys will be in different situations a year from now, graduate school. What are the important things you want to take away for yourselves?
Knowing that you will be sort of facing the same situation in grad school finals and.
[00:44:12] Speaker D: Right.
[00:44:13] Speaker C: Although it'll look differently.
[00:44:14] Speaker B: But yeah, I think that, like, I just want to be comfortable, kind of like doing the things that we talked about. Like I've talked about, you know, what Abby shared with me, your best is like the best that you have that day. And it's really easy to say that. Right. But, you know, I care a lot about my gpa, like to an extent where sometimes it feels a little unhealthy and like being like, you know, nick, this is your best. Right. And if that, if that's like the consequence of that is you don't do as well on a final limit. Like that's okay. Like that that's better for you long term than, you know, pushing yourself to a point where it's just not worth it, you know.
[00:44:58] Speaker D: Right. I think it's going to be another experience like we had freshman year coming to the University of Alabama where it's, it's different and it's an uncomfortable difference but again, one that an uncomfortable situation that I want to face head on. And I'm excited about, you know, I won't know a soul next year and I granted we'll hopefully have a lot more time to study as I won't have as many extracurricular or social obligations. So I'm kind of excited about that, that you know, I won't have an excuse not to study and so I won't feel guilty about, you know, giving up time to study as much. So I'm excited about that. But it's definitely going to be different. It's going to be different environments, different, you know, my different favorite study spots I'm gonna have to find because Bruno library is not going to be there next year. Yeah, my spot's not going to be.
[00:45:52] Speaker B: There the last two days in Bruno. Yeah, I was thinking, man, it's gonna stink not to have like this spot let I sit in, in the top four. Yeah, whatever.
Yeah, I agree with you. It's something I look forward to. Like the challenge is going to be hard, but I think that I'm definitely coming into law school a lot more excited than I was undergrad for like academic reasons, I guess. Like I was excited to come to Alabama for like the social opportunities and everything and academics was like a secondary thing for that. And if that's the case for everybody else or like other people, that's totally cool. But now I've kind of shifted to like I have to be a grown up and like learn how to do this job well because I'm going to be doing it for people. Right. And I want to be a good lawyer. So I'm excited to learn those skills similar to how you are.
[00:46:47] Speaker C: Kind of what excites me is not, is not only, you know, your the next chapter of your lives in grad school, but part of what excites me is the possibility of checking in with the two of you now as guests with whoever is going to be taking your spots for next year, next in the fall for season two, believe it or not, and see how all this transpires. It'll be neat to find time to check in with you and. And have you now as a guest on this podcast that the two really. The two of you have really had an important part in starting and establishing.
[00:47:27] Speaker B: Well, we're excited.
Hopefully we're models of the Bama Balance life.
[00:47:32] Speaker D: Yeah, exactly.
[00:47:34] Speaker B: This is carried. Well, anyway, thank you guys for listening. Good luck on finals week from all of us. I'm sure y'all are gonna kill it.
Yeah. This is the Bama Balance. Real stories about college men's mental health. I'm Nick Smith.
[00:47:50] Speaker C: I'm Dr. Tweety Perez.
[00:47:52] Speaker D: And I'm Johnny Foster. Roll tide, baby.
[00:47:54] Speaker C: Here we go. Let's go.
[00:48:13] Speaker A: Wvuafm, Tuscaloosa. This show was not intended as a substitute for professional counseling. Further, the views, opinions and conclusions expressed by the show hosts or their guests are their own and not necessarily those of the University of Alabama, its officers or trustees. Any views, opinions or conclusions shared on the show do not create a relationship between the host or any guest and any listener. And such a relationship relationship should never be inferred. If you feel you're in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, please contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective county's crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
