[00:00:01] Speaker A: At the University of Alabama, we're committed to helping you be the best version of yourself in all aspects of your well being.
[00:00:08] Speaker B: The Alabama Model of Health and well.
[00:00:10] Speaker A: Being offers a holistic approach to wellness, connecting you with resources that support every aspect of your life, providing a roadmap to thriving in college and beyond. Learn
[email protected] A message from Student Health.
[00:00:23] Speaker B: And well Being and wvuafm the Capso.
[00:00:29] Speaker C: This show is not a substitute for professional counseling and no relationship is created between the show hosts or guests and any listener. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, we encourage you to contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective counties crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
[00:01:10] Speaker D: Hello everyone, and welcome back to the Bama Balance podcast. Real stories about college men's mental health.
Man, it's. It's a little chilly today, y'. All.
That caught me. I mean, I saw it obviously, like I saw the weather, but still kind of caught me off guard a little bit in terms of I was like not ready for this.
[00:01:30] Speaker E: Got a bit of an arctic dip. Visiting us from.
From the polar regions. It's cold today.
[00:01:36] Speaker A: What I've noticed here too is as a student, I guess having to walk a lot, especially across the quad when it is cold like this, it's not necessarily bad, but when the wind's blowing like it is today, it is unbearable.
[00:01:52] Speaker D: Do yalls ears ever get like. Like mine like not hurt, but it's like bad. They get like. It's just. I hate that.
[00:02:00] Speaker E: Yeah. Yeah. You need some like ear covers or whatever they're called, earmuffs to keep it cold or keep them warm or just take the.
[00:02:11] Speaker A: Take the podcast headphones.
[00:02:15] Speaker D: Just start recording everywhere I go.
[00:02:17] Speaker E: That's true. You could do that. I think the weather's will be better this weekend. That's supposed to warm up in time for homecoming and the game. It's going to be beautiful day actually. I think for that. For that game. An afternoon game, afternoon kickoff after the parade, which will be a lot of fun, I think.
You know, I. I'm hoping we. We look a bit more sharp this come weekend compared to Saturday compared to this past game with.
With lsu. I'm glad we won, but it.
It's not. It was. It was not a flashy win.
[00:02:56] Speaker D: No.
[00:02:56] Speaker A: I honestly think now I'm less worried.
[00:02:58] Speaker E: About it, though, about Oklahoma, since I.
[00:03:01] Speaker A: Didn'T play as well.
[00:03:02] Speaker E: I. I agree. I think it was a reminder of what we needed to do, and now.
[00:03:07] Speaker A: We have stuff to work on.
[00:03:08] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:03:09] Speaker A: And they know that they've got to play better.
[00:03:11] Speaker E: Do you think that. I mean, we have now Oklahoma, Eastern, Illinois and Auburn. Those are our three remaining regular season games, right?
[00:03:21] Speaker A: Yes, sir.
[00:03:22] Speaker E: Do you think they're going to be more focused and intent on.
[00:03:25] Speaker A: I think, on the back, on the backside, especially. Maybe not Eastern, surely.
[00:03:31] Speaker E: I am not going to take anything for granted.
[00:03:33] Speaker A: Surely. But I feel like Oklahoma and Auburn especially are tailored just to that game.
[00:03:38] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:03:39] Speaker A: Because you have to win. If you don't want, you're in trouble.
[00:03:42] Speaker E: Right.
[00:03:42] Speaker D: So.
[00:03:43] Speaker E: Right. I was. I was looking at our. At the.
At the ESPN Allstate playoff predictor website. I'm really obsessed with that thing and, you know, looking at different scenarios and what it would take for us not to get into the playoffs or.
And it would. It would take a.
A catastrophic folding of our efforts. And I don't realistically see that happening.
[00:04:12] Speaker A: I hope not.
[00:04:13] Speaker E: No.
[00:04:13] Speaker A: I hope not.
[00:04:14] Speaker E: No. I think we've got a good chance. I think we've got a good chance of making it to the SEC is, quite frankly.
[00:04:19] Speaker D: I agree.
[00:04:20] Speaker A: I applied for a ticket today.
[00:04:23] Speaker E: Did you really go bruxy? Let's go.
[00:04:26] Speaker A: We'll get it.
[00:04:27] Speaker E: Let's go. Edward, are you. Do you have. Are you.
[00:04:30] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:04:31] Speaker E: As well.
[00:04:32] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:04:32] Speaker E: So if we all get tickets, what are we gonna do?
[00:04:36] Speaker D: Should we meet up live podcast in Mercedes Benz Stadium?
[00:04:40] Speaker A: Oh, tailgate podcast.
[00:04:42] Speaker E: Oh, tailgate podcast. You know, we can kind of bring this stuff with us.
[00:04:47] Speaker D: It is portable.
[00:04:48] Speaker E: It is portable.
[00:04:48] Speaker D: That is true.
[00:04:49] Speaker A: That'd be hilarious. There's no telling what would be heard on that.
[00:04:53] Speaker E: A lot of parking, probably.
[00:04:55] Speaker D: Yeah. I don't know why I assume Georgia would be there, but, I mean. Yeah, this is what I assume.
[00:05:00] Speaker E: Right. Because, I mean, most likely, if we get there, it most likely would be us in Texas A and M. Right.
So I have some friends who are in Atlanta who are from A and M, or at least one is from A and M. Some friends, but I don't think they listen to this podcast, so they don't know if I'll have tickets or not. And regardless, I probably wouldn't invite them.
[00:05:22] Speaker A: It would be interesting, though, if Texas A and M lost to Texas.
[00:05:27] Speaker E: That's.
[00:05:29] Speaker D: If Georgia beats Texas Tech or A and M loses to Texas, then it's like, it's Georgia. It's Georgia and if we went out, then it's us versus Georgia again.
[00:05:39] Speaker A: I don't want that.
[00:05:40] Speaker E: I don't want that.
I mean, once is enough.
[00:05:43] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:05:43] Speaker E: Twice as well. A bit. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want that at all. Yeah. I actually rather play a M. I think so. Right.
[00:05:53] Speaker D: Yeah. The lost to them looks better.
[00:05:55] Speaker A: They do. They look a m. Looks good.
[00:05:58] Speaker E: You know who looks for real is Indiana Mendoza.
That game was an incredible game against Penn State.
[00:06:06] Speaker A: I think that's kind of a bad luck on them.
[00:06:07] Speaker D: Yeah, they kind of run the struggle bus for a little bit.
[00:06:09] Speaker E: They were. But you know, they won't.
[00:06:12] Speaker D: They did, you know that.
[00:06:14] Speaker A: Great catch.
[00:06:14] Speaker E: Great catch.
Amazing pass. Greater catch.
Anyway, you know, we've got.
We've got this the remainder of the season left. Got three games left. And then, gosh, in the spring. We've got hoops tied.
[00:06:31] Speaker D: We got hoops right now.
[00:06:32] Speaker E: Right now.
[00:06:32] Speaker D: And they look great on Saturday.
[00:06:34] Speaker E: Amazing too. Didn't they?
[00:06:36] Speaker D: All the way and file on in the garden. That was. That was incredible. That was a better game.
[00:06:41] Speaker E: It was a better game.
[00:06:42] Speaker D: That was the more enjoyable viewing.
[00:06:45] Speaker E: That was a better game. That was a better game.
[00:06:47] Speaker D: So I'm excited for that.
[00:06:49] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:06:49] Speaker D: I'm also excited for our guest we have today.
[00:06:53] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:06:55] Speaker D: We'Re gonna take a quick break and introduce her really quickly when we get back. But this has been the BAMA balance. Real stories about college Muslims will help.
[00:07:18] Speaker A: Wvuafm Tuscaloosa.
[00:07:21] Speaker C: This show is not a substitute for professional counseling and no relationship is created between the show hosts or guests and any listener. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, we encourage you to contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact a respective county's crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
[00:08:02] Speaker A: What's up, guys? We're back with the bout Mama Valance. And I'm pleased to introduce our guest. Today we have with us Ms. Michelle Moss, and she is the assistant director of suicide prevention working in her fourth year in that spot here at ua. So we're just gonna let her jump on in and tell us a little bit about her job and we're happy.
[00:08:20] Speaker E: To have you here.
[00:08:21] Speaker B: Thank you. Thank you for having me. So I am the assistant director of suicide prevention staff therapist. So a bulk of my job is being a therapist here on campus and working with the students Another portion of it is working with student tied against suicide. So we have a student advisory board all about suicide prevention, suicide awareness efforts, events, things on our campus. So that's a really fun part of my job.
[00:08:53] Speaker E: And you've been in this role for how long now, Michelle?
[00:08:56] Speaker B: Four years in this position.
[00:08:57] Speaker E: Gosh. Okay. But previous to that you had another life?
[00:09:02] Speaker B: I did. I was an educator for 18 years, taught a lot of kiddos and actually, I mean, it's kind of a cool lead in to doing therapy because there's so much overlap. So I got to work with a lot of different ages, a lot of different, you know, areas and just loved it.
[00:09:20] Speaker E: Yeah, that's. That's fantastic.
Is there a difference or I mean, grade wise and age wise, there's probably difference, but is there what? Are there any developmental differences in working with adolescents, teenagers, pre college students, and college students, particularly college men?
[00:09:40] Speaker B: That's a good question.
So one thing I always, I say it with all the love I have, but I hesitate when I'm working with college students. I'm like, you're still kids.
You're legal adults, but you're still kids. And the burden that some of our kids carry is so heavy. And I'm like, you know, it's okay to still be a kid and not have to carry that burden of a 30 year old because you're still early 20s or not even that sometimes.
So developmentally, no, they're still kids, but they are carrying a lot of weight and pressure.
[00:10:18] Speaker E: Yeah, I'm glad you said that. One of the things I speak about and talk about with other colleagues who aren't in the mental health field is working on a college campus. And particularly if you're a therapist working in a college counseling center, you get insights into students and their experiences that you don't see anywhere else. I mean, if you look out across a quad, you don't see many. You don't get to see that part of the student experience.
[00:10:46] Speaker B: Right. Yeah, that's fair.
Even teaching. I've taught college classes here and you know, the bond is created between instructor and student and you get to see different insights and work with them on a level but not the same as when you're working with their mental health.
[00:11:05] Speaker E: Sure, sure. Well, we're happy to have you here today and particularly as suicide prevention coordinator and the counseling center and working alongside students in that effort.
One of the signature programs is qpr. It is, and we've had a couple episodes and one episode previously where we talked directly about suicide, its impact, and thought it Would be great to have you here to talk about qpr.
What that, what is it? What does it entail? And let me start with that.
[00:11:38] Speaker B: Okay, so QPR is a gold standard gatekeeper training that we offer here on campus. It's available for our students, faculty, staff, and just in the community, you know, we're happy to offer it in the community.
It stands for question, persuade, refer.
And it's about an hour, hour and a half training.
It really varies with the population that you're training. With students, we try to keep it closer to an hour just because it's hard to get students out of class for longer than that to be able to commit to more than an hour.
We offer it here at the student center twice a month. We try to do one day session and then one evening or weekend session.
So the purpose is to a. It gives you just like an overview of statistics and the problem of suicide.
And then it gives how to recognize the signs and how to ask the question if someone is suicidal, and then how to get them to the resources they need.
[00:12:45] Speaker E: And could you explain. So it's called question, persuade, refer. What do each of those components entail as it relates to suicide prevention and education?
[00:12:56] Speaker B: So asking the question is the hardest part for so many people. And that's fair if you're not used to doing it every day. And even for me, I do it every day. But you don't want to upset someone or, you know, there's this myth that asking that question, are you suicidal? Will make it worse.
Statistics show. Research tells us it does not. It lowers their anxiety level and lets people know we can have a conversation. I hear you.
It does not increase the risk at all.
So it helps. Learning how to ask the question, how to approach a person, when to know when you need to ask the question, and then persuading them to live that their life is valuable and they need to live they're wanted and loved and that they have a life worth living for. And then getting them to the resources.
[00:13:47] Speaker E: Great.
[00:13:48] Speaker B: Yeah. And then we provide information on what resources are available here on campus and just in the Tus Lisa community.
[00:13:55] Speaker E: It's a wonderful program. Like you said, it's the gold standard in that way. I know with our last episode or the episode that we had on Susan, suicide, talking about suicide, one of the hardest elements for us was in terms of how to actually ask that question of a friend or somebody you're concerned with.
You know, are you.
Are you thinking of suicide or do you have plans for suicide?
And it was difficult for each One of us to talk about. Absolutely.
[00:14:26] Speaker A: I felt like, especially with that question, you know, you're starting to question so many things on yourself then, like, how is this person going to react? Will this make it better, worse? You know.
[00:14:37] Speaker E: Right.
[00:14:37] Speaker A: And there's so much going through your head as well as obviously, theirs, that it just kind of gets, you know.
[00:14:43] Speaker E: A lot at once. So I think, Edward, you were talking about something about, you know, there's so many things to have to consider even before asking whether or not a person is considering suicide, sort of the timing and all of that. And I don't. I mean, it's an awkward question to ask.
[00:15:02] Speaker D: Yeah. I mean, like, I've talked about before, it's awkward in, like, the worst sense of that word. But it's worth it because, I mean, it's like it's better to have that moment of awkwardness, that moment of vulnerability, than it is for someone to go through with a plan to. To do that. So.
[00:15:22] Speaker E: Right.
[00:15:24] Speaker D: Yeah. I mean, it's, again, good things are difficult often, and difficult things are often good. So.
[00:15:32] Speaker E: It'S worth it.
[00:15:33] Speaker D: It's worth it. It's worth that. That challenge.
[00:15:36] Speaker E: Right, right.
[00:15:37] Speaker D: Because I feel like awkward doesn't. Awkward is a word that doesn't really do it justice in terms of, like, how it feels to talk to someone about that or ask them.
Can I. It's like, that's how it. That's the closest word I can think of. But it goes beyond that.
[00:15:50] Speaker E: Sure, sure. I remember even. Even to this day, or when I worked with clients, including a psychologist, I. I think I characterize it as kind of a white knuckle moment because you're not quite sure how that person is going to respond. And then actions you might need to take in your experience.
Michelle, what is it? What's been the most significant thing you've seen about our suicide prevention and education efforts here at the university?
[00:16:21] Speaker B: Seeing students come together and realize that there is a problem and we can break down that barrier. So you were saying, like, it's awkward. It is hard. It's hard to have that conversation. No one wants to, but when students or anyone hears that you care and it can be normalized instead of stigmatized, it makes such a difference because, like, letting people know, most everyone has struggled at some point.
There's nothing to be ashamed of.
So, like, seeing our students come together. Back in October, we did Suicide Awareness Week.
[00:16:58] Speaker E: Yes.
[00:16:58] Speaker B: Right. We had so many events, and we put out 1100 flags on the quad.
So many students stopped by our table just to look at the flags to write notes, messages of hope, messages of kindness.
And that was so impactful.
And then we have plans to give those messages back out.
So that's really cool.
It is. And just even to see parents, parents were here for tours and they would stop and ask, like, what are the flags?
So I think seeing people come together and try to break down that stigma and normalize that, it's okay to talk about.
[00:17:39] Speaker E: Right, right. When. When working with, you know, college students and either individual group or doing outreach and particularly working with our students tied against suicide, are there, are there differences that you notice or that you know of in the way that maybe college men might respond to approaching others or approaching friends with a question of suicide intent?
[00:18:09] Speaker B: Yeah, I would say that they're more hesitant.
[00:18:12] Speaker E: Okay.
[00:18:13] Speaker B: And I think that's probably because they're more hesitant to be reached out to you.
There's. That I have to be okay.
That like I have to carry the burden. You know, men are at a much greater risk.
They're afraid to ask for help. They need to carry it all and everything be okay. And then there's that, well, what if I approach my buddy and they think I'm losing it? They think I'm the problem or they're offended or upset.
[00:18:41] Speaker E: Oh, interesting.
[00:18:43] Speaker B: You know, it's really cool to see a guy break down that barrier and be willing to ask the question.
[00:18:51] Speaker E: So there's a perception of being judged.
Oh, interesting.
[00:18:56] Speaker B: Almost like weakness.
[00:18:56] Speaker E: Weakness. Okay.
Do either of you guys feel that way? Have you experienced that from others or.
[00:19:03] Speaker A: I feel like we've talked about it in the past a little bit. As far as, you know, your, your so called job as a man.
[00:19:10] Speaker E: Right.
[00:19:10] Speaker A: You're not supposed to show. You're not supposed to, you know, you're supposed to, like you were saying, carry the burdens and not really show that.
So I think there definitely is, you know, a spot where men feel like they would be judged of something of that nature. But at the same time, that's what we're doing here. We're trying to make it known that that doesn't matter. So.
[00:19:32] Speaker E: But even in asking some, like asking a friend.
Is that Michelle, were you saying, even in asking that there is this perception of being.
[00:19:44] Speaker B: Because this idea that everything has to be okay?
[00:19:46] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:19:47] Speaker B: Why would I ask you that?
[00:19:48] Speaker E: Because I see what you're saying. Interesting. Okay. Okay.
[00:19:53] Speaker D: Not wanting to address anything.
[00:19:54] Speaker E: Yeah, right, right, right.
It's a hard conversation to have.
[00:19:59] Speaker B: It is.
[00:20:00] Speaker E: Right. And. And if, and if I have, if I'm in a position to ask my Friend, that question was to whether or not they have any intent of suicide. I might not even know how to phrase it right. What are some of the.
What are, you know, what are some of the ways that you found that students, or college men for that matter, ask suicide without asking directly, you okay?
[00:20:29] Speaker B: You good?
Which means a lot of different things, right?
That is not asking the question.
And students will say to me, I wasn't able to open up and share that I was not okay until someone directly asked, are you thinking of suicide?
So it's really, really important that everyone hears you have to ask directly.
[00:20:55] Speaker E: And by asking directly, asking the question, are you considering suicide?
[00:21:00] Speaker B: Are you thinking of ending your life? Are you thinking of suicide versus you good?
[00:21:08] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:21:09] Speaker A: I think that is hilarious that you said that because I use that terminology so much. But it always means different things, like, you know, you good after you just bombed a test. I mean, there's multiple different things. And I think that's sort of just the magnitude of this problem that men face, especially college men on campus. But this has been a great segment here, and I'm excited to keep it rolling after this one. So we'll be back. This is the Bama Balance.
Wvuafm Tuscaloosa.
[00:21:56] Speaker C: This show is not a substitute for professional counseling and no relationship is created between the show host or guests and any listener. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, we encourage you to contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective counties crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
[00:22:38] Speaker E: And we're back with the Bamma Balance. This is our second segment and we've got Michelle Moss from the counseling center, assistant director for suicide education prevention here.
Michelle, I thought the point you made last segment in terms of how college men maybe have this code word or this phrase that's pretty useful, universal, you know, are you all good? It's something that really sort of glosses over, doesn't even touch on the.
The concern maybe that. That someone might have about whether or not a friend of theirs is considering suicide. And. And is it. Is it. So the phrase all good, that's kind of a catch all. Is that. I mean, is that. That's not enough?
[00:23:23] Speaker B: It's not enough? No, no.
It's really important to be direct and I tell students and really hone in on it in the Training that you have to, you know, you have to be direct. But it's okay to start with acknowledging what's going on.
I know that you've had some struggles academically. I heard you talking about losing your scholarship.
So acknowledging what the problem is. And then maybe some behaviors like you've been withdrawn, you're not coming out with us, or you're going out a little too much, maybe you're drinking seven nights a week. And we're really concerned about you. So acknowledging that what the situation is and what the behaviors are.
[00:24:05] Speaker E: Right.
[00:24:05] Speaker B: And then just being very direct and asking, are you thinking of suicide? Are you thinking of ending your life?
[00:24:14] Speaker E: Is there a way? Because I know, I know college guys.
It's tough to have difficult conversations. It is, right. And I was wondering other ways to lead up to that.
[00:24:24] Speaker D: But.
[00:24:24] Speaker E: And I love the way, I love what you said in terms of, you know, I've noticed this, noticed that, and I was wondering, like, if you were to role play, if you were to role play with Edward right now on that, what would that look like?
[00:24:39] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:24:40] Speaker E: So if so you're coming to concern. Yeah. If you're concerned about Edward, what would you say?
[00:24:44] Speaker B: Okay, can I make up a scenario?
[00:24:45] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:24:46] Speaker B: So Edward's my friend, Right.
Edward, how's it going?
[00:24:50] Speaker D: It's going good.
[00:24:51] Speaker B: It's going good. All's good.
Okay. Well, I'm glad to hear it's good.
I have to be honest with you though, Edward. I've been a little worried about you and a little concerned. I know that last week we had a conversation about your scholarship and you were really worried your parents were going to be mad you may have to take a semester off.
How's that going?
[00:25:14] Speaker D: It's been difficult. You know, I think it. Thank you for noticing, but. Yeah, it is. It's not easy to talk about all the time. And I think it, you know, means a lot that you would reach out. But yeah, it's been hard. School is a lot.
School's a lot. And you know, I like to try to, you know, keep my parents happy and, and do what they are sending me here to do.
[00:25:44] Speaker B: So, Edward, I want you to know that it is a lot. Life is a lot. School's a lot. But you don't have to carry it by yourself.
You're not responsible for your parents happiness. All you can do is do the best you can do.
So I want you to know that you have support system here. You have friends.
Like I said, we've been worried about you with your emotions lately, with your worry and the burden with the scholarship.
And the other day you made a statement that, like, life just wasn't worth living anymore. So that has me a little concerned about you. And I just need to ask you the hard question of. Are you thinking about suicide?
[00:26:24] Speaker D: Yeah. I mean, that's.
That's that. Yeah, it's. It can be, you know.
You know, like, I don't know how to. It's hard.
[00:26:36] Speaker E: That's a tough question.
[00:26:38] Speaker D: I don't know how to.
[00:26:39] Speaker E: No, but what was it like for you in that scenario to hear?
[00:26:42] Speaker D: I mean, it's. Yeah, it's still like a. Yeah. Even knowing it's coming is still, like.
[00:26:48] Speaker E: It's hard.
[00:26:49] Speaker B: It's jarring.
[00:26:50] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:26:50] Speaker D: No, like, even though, like, you know, I'm great and.
[00:26:54] Speaker E: Sure.
[00:26:54] Speaker D: Like, not like. It's just, like, even. Even with, like, the knowledge that it's completely made up, it's still like.
[00:27:00] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:27:00] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:27:00] Speaker D: That's a.
That's a tough thing. Yeah. Just heavy.
[00:27:04] Speaker E: It is heavy. It is heavy. My. I don't know if this is your experience, Michelle, but my experience experience has been that when. When I do ask a friend or ask a client that question, and they oftentimes will say, yes, I've been. Yes, I am thinking about suicide, or I have been having thoughts of suicide, which I actually then feel relieved about.
[00:27:22] Speaker B: Absolutely.
Yeah. When someone admits to it and they acknowledge there are thoughts, that is actually a very big protective factor.
[00:27:31] Speaker E: Right.
[00:27:31] Speaker B: Because then it's out in the open and they are at least. Least willing to be honest and have that conversation with you. So, you know, they are safer because they're having a conversation.
[00:27:41] Speaker E: When you say protective factors, what do you mean? What are some. And what are some of those factors?
[00:27:44] Speaker B: Yeah, so protective factors.
Being able to have the conversation, being willing to come to counseling, being willing to loop in a friend or a family member and mentor.
Faith, academics, goal oriented, future oriented. These are all protective factors.
[00:28:04] Speaker E: Okay. Okay. So if I'm in a class with Brooks and we come out of class and we just had, like, one of the hardest exams so far this semester, and I look at Brooks, I go, brooksy, man, that test was just.
I mean, it. It just humbled me, man.
I don't. I don't know how I'm going to do with him. And that test was. I needed to pass that test.
You want me to respond? Yeah.
[00:28:31] Speaker A: Oh, Lord.
Look, it'll be all right. Like, we'll figure out something.
[00:28:36] Speaker E: Yeah.
[00:28:37] Speaker A: But I first probably could tell you to, like, beg to the teacher, like, hey, is there anything I can do about this.
[00:28:44] Speaker E: But that test, man, I mean, you know how. I mean, it's been a tough semester for me all the way around and I needed to pass that test and I, I don't know what I'm going to do if I don't pass that test.
[00:28:55] Speaker A: Well, your life doesn't end when you don't pass a test. Like, there's, there's a lot more to life than a class. And the good thing about classes is you can retake them all.
[00:29:04] Speaker E: Yeah, but I don't know if there's going to be time to do that. I mean, it's just. I just don't see any way out.
[00:29:12] Speaker A: I mean, I didn't have to ask you the question of, I mean, like, are you talking about ending your life.
[00:29:19] Speaker E: Or kind of thought about it.
[00:29:22] Speaker A: Well, then we definitely need to talk about this and try to get you some help.
[00:29:26] Speaker E: Good. So. And then that's great. That's a great job. So in terms of the persuade part, that was where I was leading. So the question part is that big, is that question. And how do you move from the question part to the persuade and the refer?
[00:29:39] Speaker B: So people who are suicidal think that that problem right there in front of them, that test, that scholarship, that whatever, that relationship, that, that that's the problem.
And oftentimes that's all they see. And they may even be future oriented, but they're too blocked by what's right in front of them. So helping them see past that, like, you did a really good job, classes can be retaken. Right. We can retake a test, retake a class, beg a professor, whatever we have to do. So persuading them and helping them see that's not the end of it. There are other things that we can do. We can get other people involved, but they often think somebody who's in a suicidal crisis, that there is no help. So you really have to persuade, you really have to beg and let them know that their life is valuable and there are other options.
And then looking for those resources and the referral part is taking them to the counseling center, getting on 988-741-741 hope point in Tuscaloosa is a great resource. So knowing your local resources is important and then being able to share that and help them through it, like, what can I do? Where can I take you? I will go with you. I will hold your hand. And if you can't, you can find somebody who will.
[00:30:59] Speaker E: It's. It's those next steps that are going to be important. Yes, it's taking that first difficult step and asking a question. That's the big one.
[00:31:08] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:31:08] Speaker E: You know, so we've talked about on this, on this podcast in different episodes, how there's a culture of competition and a culture of comparison and judgment among college men.
What are some things, do you think, that feed into that for college men? And how are some. What are some ways to undo that or learn more adaptive ways for mental health?
[00:31:35] Speaker B: That's a really big one.
So pressures on a college campus are far different than anywhere else. Right.
Particularly for men, there is that pressure to have it all together, to never ask for help and to just carry the weight of everyone, not just themselves, to make everyone happy. Like you were saying, you know, I gotta please my parents.
So I think the first step of that is just acknowledging that you don't have to do it all.
You're not responsible for anyone but yourself.
And the only thing you can control is your actions. You can't control the outcome of anything else.
So just knowing that you don't have to be perfect and you don't have to have it all together and there is a big support for you and trying to help break down that stigma that men do have to be perfect.
[00:32:29] Speaker E: So really that stigma of perfection and having to bear things on your own gets in the way of really helping yourself and helping others. It does as well.
[00:32:41] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:32:41] Speaker E: Gosh, that's really important to know.
Brooksy, thank you for being a part of that one.
I appreciate it. Thanks for playing along too. I know we've. We got lots more to talk about, but for now we'll take a break. We'll see in the next segment. This is the BAMA Balance.
[00:33:16] Speaker A: Wvuafm Tuscaloosa.
[00:33:19] Speaker C: This show is not a substitute for professional counseling and no relationship is created between the show hosts or guests and any listener. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, we encourage you to contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective counties crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency emergency room.
[00:34:00] Speaker E: Hey, everyone.
[00:34:01] Speaker D: Welcome back to the Bama Balance podcast.
So we've had just a very insightful conversation today. I think, I think it's been cool that we've not only because, you know, we were kind of touching on things we've talked about previously, but it's more so the, you know how to go about Trying to handle these situations, I come up with, with those that are. That are near and dear to us and trying to help. Help others the best we can.
Yeah, I just. I've really enjoyed this one.
[00:34:30] Speaker E: It's been. It's been really. It's been very good. Revelatory. And, you know, we were talking at the break and Edward, you mentioned. Mentioned that, you know, asking the question to someone you care about, are you considering suicide? It doesn't come up in typical conversation.
And the question, are you considering suicide? Doesn't really roll off.
Doesn't really roll off the tongue very easily or very naturally because it's a tough conversation. Tough question, no doubt. Right. I think.
And as we were talking, I think in particular for college men, I was saying that that in working with students and working with clients, working with college men, I noticed that sometimes college men are more open to the language of analogy when expressing care, when expressing concern, and can serve as a nice lead into the question of are they considering suicide?
I point. Pointed to, you know, oftentimes using the analogy of either fly fishing or golf. And I'm a terrible golfer, but I enjoy the experience.
And, and I've often asked clients and friends, for that matter, that, you know, after acknowledging that I know that they're having a difficult time or they're going through a difficult experience, that, that. That they don't have to go through it alone, that. That I'm happy to be their caddy, I'm happy to kind of take that load and walk the course with them, which feels like a sense of relief in a way.
[00:36:14] Speaker A: No doubt. And as you said that, I immediately thought of my, like, to myself, like, if somebody were to say, you know, let me be your caddy. Yeah, of course I'm gonna be like, all right, let's do it.
But I also think it might means a lot and speaks volumes to, you know, you having a little bit of a relationship with that person and you acknowledging what they like to do on a daily basis. And, you know, that would make me feel warm inside thinking that, you know, somebody may actually care whether it's playing video games or, you know, playing sports or fishing or hunting, like you said. So I think. I think that's important. And, you know, if those listeners out there ever get in certain a situation like that, I think that's great advice.
[00:36:54] Speaker E: So.
[00:36:55] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:36:55] Speaker E: So I was going to ask Michelle, is it. Is it easier? I'm sure I probably know this question, but I'll ask anyway. Is it easier to ask that question of whether or not Someone's considered suicide to someone you know well versus someone you might know occasionally. And if so, how would you recommend going about those situations?
[00:37:17] Speaker B: That's a good question. I think it's.
We would think it would be easier to ask someone that we're close to. Right. Because you know them better. But it's. It can be more intimidating because you don't want to offend or hurt or make someone mad than think you've misread the situation.
So it's probably easier to ask someone that you don't know, honestly.
But I love the analogy. And just like you said, you know, letting them know that you're walking alongside them, you don't have to have lived experience.
You don't have to fully understand.
People are in my office every day and I don't understand what they've been through. I haven't experienced it, but I can walk alongside them, I can support them and just letting guys. But people in general know that they can put it down and that someone else is willing to help them carry whatever burden we've talked about burden and that response to responsibility of carrying the burden.
So just letting them know that you're there for them.
[00:38:22] Speaker E: Right, Right. This. This has been so valuable to have you here with us. What are some of the takeaways, do you think, Michelle, that you'd like to not only leave us, but. But our listeners in terms of suicide prevention, education and how to intervene, you're not alone.
[00:38:39] Speaker B: Just know that someone's always there.
And if you are, are worried about a friend, a family member, a colleague, whatever, and you feel like you can't do it, you can ask someone. Just reach out to someone else that can help you ask the question.
If you're struggling, please reach out for help. That's the most important.
You don't have to carry it by yourself.
As far as asking the question we've talked about, it's not easy. It doesn't roll off the tongue. It can feel intimidating. And I think the most important thing I can say is you can't mess it up. Right. The most important thing is that you ask. The only thing that you know, the worst case scenario is someone says yes, and then you just get them the help they need. Right. Once you've asked the question, that's the hardest part. So you can't mess it up.
[00:39:30] Speaker E: That's a good point. Yeah, that's a great point.
If, after listening to the students, wanted to be more involved in campus efforts to prevent suicide and raise awareness, how would they do that? Particularly with Students fighting in suicide.
[00:39:48] Speaker B: Yeah. So go to any of our trainings. We talked a lot today about qpr, but there's also talk saves lives and it's essentially the same, but it is peer led.
And then we have blue button, which is just a mental health overview training on our campus. So get involved in any of those to find out more information.
But get involved with the events and prevention efforts that Stoss puts on and you can follow those by going to tied against suicide on Instagram.
The counseling center has a webpage that's tied against suicide and we have a monthly newsletter and all of our info is there as well.
[00:40:30] Speaker E: Great, great. And you mentioned stas that student.
[00:40:33] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:40:33] Speaker E: Students tied against suicide.
[00:40:35] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:40:35] Speaker E: Can you say a little bit more about that group?
[00:40:37] Speaker B: So student tied against suicide. They are the student advisory board through the counseling center and they advise us on what we need to do. They do research, they do a newsletter, they do some of the trainings. They go and do outreaches and then they plan our big events. We have suicide awareness week in the fall with the out of the darkness walk, and then we have recharge in the spring. And that's just a time to unplug and work on community and relationships.
[00:41:10] Speaker E: That's great. And you serve as their advisor.
[00:41:12] Speaker B: I do.
[00:41:13] Speaker E: Okay.
It sounds like a great group.
[00:41:15] Speaker B: They are amazing. I love them dearly.
[00:41:18] Speaker E: No, that's fantastic.
It's been wonderful having you here with us.
[00:41:23] Speaker B: Thank you.
[00:41:23] Speaker E: How was it for you to be joining us for this episode?
[00:41:26] Speaker B: It was fun. I enjoyed it. You all are great.
I was a little like, I mean, men's mental health. I'm a girl trying to raise a boy, so I don't know. But it was really insightful for me and I appreciate the insight from, you know, college aged men. So thank you.
[00:41:43] Speaker A: Thank you for coming. Thank you.
[00:41:46] Speaker B: Appreciate it.
[00:41:47] Speaker D: But this has been the BAMA balance. Real stories about college men's mental health. I'm Edward Fountain.
[00:41:53] Speaker A: I'm brooks Barbary.
[00:41:54] Speaker E: I'm Dr. Tony Perez.
[00:41:56] Speaker B: And I'm Michelle Moss.
[00:41:57] Speaker D: And we will see y' all next week.
[00:42:15] Speaker A: Wvuafm, Tuscaloosa.
[00:42:17] Speaker C: This show was not intended as a substitute for professional counseling. Further, the views, opinions and conclusions expressed by the show hosts or their guests are their own and not necessarily those of the University of Alabama, its officers or trustees. Any views, opinions or conclusions shared on the show do not create a relationship between the host or any guest and any listener. And such a relationship should never be inferred. If you feel you're in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, please contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective county's crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
