[00:00:01] Speaker A: At the University of Alabama, we're committed to helping you be the best version of yourself in all aspects of your well being. The Alabama model of health and well being offers a holistic approach to wellness, connecting you with resources that support every aspect of your life, providing a roadmap to thriving in college and beyond. Learn
[email protected] A message from Student Health
[00:00:23] Speaker B: and well Being and wvuafm the capso.
[00:00:29] Speaker C: This show is not a substitute for professional counseling and no relationship is created between the show hosts or guests and any listener. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, we encourage you to contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective counties crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
[00:00:56] Speaker B: Foreign.
[00:01:11] Speaker D: Hey, everyone. Welcome back to the Battle Balance. Real stories about college students, mental health.
And we're back for episode 20. It's crazy.
[00:01:21] Speaker A: That is wild. I feel like we haven't been in here 20 times. I guess we have.
[00:01:24] Speaker D: I know. I. I just realized that as I noted it down here on page episode 20. That's amazing. That's amazing.
[00:01:31] Speaker A: It's fallen by. It really has been a quick year.
[00:01:33] Speaker D: We had a really good time.
Really? I. I was talking about that. I had a really good time last week when Max visited. I thought he did a great job.
[00:01:42] Speaker A: Yeah, he did.
[00:01:43] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:01:43] Speaker A: He had some very, very good words.
[00:01:45] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:01:46] Speaker B: It's well spoken.
[00:01:47] Speaker D: Yeah.
As someone who was a recipient of the. Was it 20, 26 outstanding IFC President. President. Yeah. Yeah. Way to go, Max. Thanks for being here.
Also a lot of thanks for big W last night.
[00:02:06] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:02:07] Speaker A: Great.
What, 35.
[00:02:11] Speaker D: What a game.
[00:02:13] Speaker A: I was really worried. I was like, all right, we've got this thing to five with a minute left. Yeah, let's just not let them get it to two.
[00:02:20] Speaker D: And then.
[00:02:21] Speaker A: And then they got it to three. And I'm like, all right, we're great. Then he comes down and just lets one eat. I was like, oh, gosh, here we go.
[00:02:32] Speaker D: Yes.
Yeah. As a roller coaster of emotion in
[00:02:35] Speaker B: that game, we couldn't stop that. A cuff. Save our lives, man.
[00:02:40] Speaker D: They played hard. They played hard.
They played hard.
[00:02:44] Speaker A: Tip of the gap.
[00:02:45] Speaker D: Right, Right. Double overtime. I mean, I don't know that anyone was sitting down for.
[00:02:51] Speaker A: I didn't sit down watching it standing up.
[00:02:55] Speaker D: Yeah. Yeah, man. Crazy, crazy game.
You know, this is also the time of year where, I guess. Are we getting close to midterms, too.
[00:03:07] Speaker A: Yeah, they should be coming up pretty soon.
[00:03:09] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:03:12] Speaker A: Maybe. Maybe right before spring break normally.
[00:03:15] Speaker D: Okay. Okay. Is it me, or am I just over anticipating spring break? I'm feeling like spring break is like. I think I need one. I know I need one, but it's probably five weeks away after this week.
[00:03:27] Speaker A: I'm looking for it.
[00:03:30] Speaker D: Yep.
[00:03:31] Speaker A: Five weeks, I guess.
[00:03:32] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:03:33] Speaker A: No shorter than that.
[00:03:35] Speaker B: I think it is shorter.
[00:03:36] Speaker D: I think it is.
That's right. Right.
[00:03:38] Speaker B: Four weeks.
[00:03:39] Speaker D: Are you saying you need spring break
[00:03:40] Speaker A: now, Brooks, I'd love to have spring break now.
[00:03:43] Speaker B: Yeah. I wouldn't hate that.
[00:03:43] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:03:44] Speaker A: The thing is, if you have it now, like, you'll want it later.
So, like, I'm good. I'm good with grinding it out.
[00:03:50] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:03:50] Speaker A: Four more weeks.
[00:03:51] Speaker D: And what is it about something about the spring semester that makes it feel like longer than the. Than before?
[00:04:00] Speaker A: I think it's my personal opinion. You don't have, like, the way I'm centered around football games. And I know y', all, too, are.
[00:04:09] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:04:09] Speaker A: As well.
You know, those are every weekend. And it's something fun to look forward to.
[00:04:14] Speaker D: Right.
[00:04:14] Speaker A: Friday, you know, that starts the weekend. You may go travel. I think not having necessarily something to look forward to every weekend that's that big may be a reason for that.
[00:04:27] Speaker B: I mean, it's all football.
It's like having that extra. Just having that extra day is huge.
[00:04:33] Speaker D: Yeah.
Yeah.
[00:04:34] Speaker B: And I was like.
[00:04:35] Speaker D: To.
[00:04:35] Speaker B: When it comes to, like, the semester, feeling longer, you know, also. It's also. I feel like it just is longer, is it not?
[00:04:43] Speaker D: I think it's about the same, like, 16 weeks. Yeah, I think. I think it's. I think it's. It's. It's the spring and just the timing of how things come to be spring.
[00:04:52] Speaker B: But, like, there's no January in the fall.
[00:04:54] Speaker D: You know, that's true.
[00:04:55] Speaker B: Like, there's.
[00:04:56] Speaker A: There's no slow month.
[00:04:57] Speaker B: There's not a month that feels like January. That's.
[00:04:59] Speaker D: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:05:00] Speaker A: Slow month.
[00:05:00] Speaker B: There's not a month that feels like that in the fall.
[00:05:02] Speaker D: There's no January in the fall. That is probably the most, like, profound thing that Edward said, these first couple of minutes here.
[00:05:10] Speaker A: And then you come off the summer. I feel like in the fall, it's like you're home and then you're really wanting to come back because you've been. You've had a prolonged three months instead of, you know, December that flies by, Christmas, Thanksgiving, all that. So you're right. Back up here. It feels like you maybe never left.
[00:05:29] Speaker D: I think what keeps me going are the things that I have on my calendar that I'm looking forward to. We were talking earlier about having to schedule some stuff maybe in March. And looking at my calendar I've already got was at that March 27, locked in that weekend, which is final four weekend or March Madness. It's March Madness. And potentially making a road trip to a regional somewhere and maybe in Indianapolis too. Who knows?
[00:06:01] Speaker A: That'd be pretty cool.
[00:06:02] Speaker D: Fun and be fun. The, you know, the as I was looking to it at kind of where we're landing with our episode, episode 20, we were talking earlier about what, you know, what do we talk about today? So there are a couple of things that, that we were considering and Brooks, you brought them up.
[00:06:16] Speaker A: Yeah. I think one of the ones that I've seen recently, an article or something that I've read over was, you know, like, what would you tell your little self about mental health? So I looking back now that we're older and we've been in college for three and four years, you know, what would you tell your freshman self coming in about, about mental health and how to handle certain things?
The next one would be procrastinating feelings and emotions because, you know, we all procrastinate work and that's just a thing that happens. But, you know, there's certain benefits and definitely some negative things that can come out of procrastinating your feelings and emotions.
[00:07:03] Speaker D: So we hadn't landed on either one yet, but we figured we'd at least put it out there and keep talking about it. And I'm sure by the start of our next segment here, we'll have decided on something. So stay tuned and find out what we've landed on for this episode of the podcast and we'll be right back. This is the BAMA Balance.
[00:07:41] Speaker A: Wvuafm Tuscaloosa.
[00:07:44] Speaker C: This show is not a substitute for professional counseling and no relationship is created between the show host or guests and any listener. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, we encourage you to contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective county's crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
[00:08:21] Speaker D: Foreign.
[00:08:25] Speaker B: What's up, guys? Welcome back to the first our first big segment of the Bama Balance podcast.
And we have after a Very long and. And kind of dedicated. A really intensive way of trying to figure out which topic we're going to do. We just, you know, very, very gotten to the weeds of both. We decided to go with emotional procrastination. Kind of like putting off feelings before. Or. What was it? Putting off feelings.
[00:08:55] Speaker A: Putting off feelings like you. Or procrastinating feelings. Yeah, put off work. Oh, right, yeah, yeah.
[00:09:01] Speaker D: And we actually flipped a coin on. On those two choices. So it just happened that this was the one. The winning.
The winning topic.
[00:09:09] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:09:09] Speaker D: So how did you come up with this one, Brooks?
[00:09:11] Speaker A: I've heard somebody talk about it on Joe Rogan. I was telling you about that.
I can't exactly remember who it was, but they brought it up, basically.
I think they. They might have felt a certain way about something about how one of their friends acted towards them or something, and they just procrastinated, you know, letting the friend know that they felt that way about a decision they had made.
And it would have been a lot better if they just went ahead and laid it all out on the table and talked about it.
[00:09:42] Speaker D: So.
[00:09:43] Speaker A: Yeah, and I think it applies to a lot of people.
[00:09:46] Speaker D: Oh, for sure. So for sure. You know, one of the things that is kind of clear in the research is connection with the body and the mind and. And feelings being a part of, you know, our everyday psychology.
You know, our tendency to not express our feelings or kind of hold it in or procrastinate expressing them can have an effect in terms of our physical health, can be an internal stressor that builds and builds and builds. And so. But I guess also it depends on the kind of kinds of emotions that, you know, a person might tend to put off.
I mean, there's so many things. So when I think of the kinds of emotions that I tend to not put off are things that are happier or joyful. Yeah, kinds of things. Right.
[00:10:41] Speaker A: I feel like that's kind of how it rolls.
And I feel like that's every day, you know, things that you do want to do. Yeah, you're not going to put those off. Yeah, it's the things you don't want to do is the tough conversations you don't want to have, the hard feelings you may have a certain subject, I mean, and you're better off just go ahead and getting it over with because chances are they probably feel.
They feel bad they did it or something and just aren't reciprocating that to you either. So it's kind of a common ground that you can meet on most of the Times where you're like, hey, I really didn't like how you handle this. Hey, I'm sorry.
I've been thinking about it too.
[00:11:22] Speaker D: Yeah. So do you think something like that, something like emotional procrastination, do you think that's something we're sort of born with or is that something that we kind of learn along the way or somehow. Somehow learn?
[00:11:39] Speaker B: I, I would argue that it's not necessarily like you're born with it. I would say it's probably something you learn or rather it's something that it's. It's kind of what.
It's not something you learn to do, but it's what comes out of you not learning how to process things.
Because if you don't know, you know, if, if there's something that is eating you up, if you deal with a lot of grief, dealing with a lot of, whether it's resentment or even like, you know, there's something you want to talk to someone about, you know, you don't, you don't aren't proactive in that. Then you're, you're learning how to cope with not being able to, to process a lot of those emotions and a lot of those feelings. So I think that's where it comes from. Not necessarily like, it's not something you learn to do. It's more of a reaction you learn to have.
[00:12:24] Speaker D: Right. So we kind of we and we. So we learn it. Is it? Do we? I guess I'm wondering how we learn it. Do you.
Do we observe it? Do we?
[00:12:33] Speaker A: I think when you're, when you're younger, you know, when you're a little kid, you've, you don't procrastinate at all. Like, you know, if you get mad at somebody, you're gonna show that.
[00:12:44] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:12:44] Speaker A: If your mom tells you to do something you don't want to do, you're gonna say no.
Make it like spanking out of it. But I feel like when you get older and you start to really think about other people's feelings is when it may start to hit you.
[00:13:01] Speaker D: Oh, that's an interesting thought.
So, so growing up and developing a sense of empathy or that emotional understanding of the other person.
[00:13:15] Speaker B: Right.
[00:13:15] Speaker A: Because I feel like when you're younger and this may, this may have just been me when I was younger, but I felt like I was very self, like, self centered in my thoughts. Like somebody did something that was going to hurt me.
Like I tell them that, that, hey, like that hurt.
[00:13:29] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:13:29] Speaker A: Like if I accidentally did something that hurt somebody else, you know, Like, I'm not really thinking about hurting them as much as I think about myself getting hurt.
[00:13:39] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:13:40] Speaker A: But this is, like, at the age
[00:13:41] Speaker D: of, like, four or five, right. Six.
[00:13:43] Speaker A: You know, I think you quickly kind of grow out of that and realize that there's right and there's wrong.
[00:13:49] Speaker D: So that's a really good point because, you know, growing up, we're taught. At least I was taught, you know, don't say things that are going to offend anybody.
And.
And if I feel offended or if somebody does something that hurts me or that angers me, and if I express that, you know, what you did angered me, it feels like by saying that, that would hurt their feelings. And if we're taught one thing, it's hard to then figure out how to be congruent with the feelings we need to express.
[00:14:24] Speaker A: I guess I agree.
[00:14:25] Speaker D: Yeah.
Have you ever. I was gonna say, have you. Have you been at a time when you've had, like. I guess what feelings are. Are difficult to express?
I don't.
[00:14:41] Speaker B: I guess for, like. I think it's difficult to, like, oftentimes it's hard to have, like, deep or not deep conversation, but, like, hard conversations. I think that's. Or that's something that's not really, like, a feeling, I guess, though.
But I guess, like, if it was, like, if you're feeling a certain way, it gets to a point where, like, I think people bottle up.
I think resentment is a big one.
[00:15:06] Speaker D: Resentment's a good. Yeah, I can relate to that.
[00:15:08] Speaker B: Like, a lot of people want to just, like, hope and just kind of ignore it till it goes away, and then eventually it just doesn't. That kind of boils over.
But I also think people will refuse to kind of wrestle with and reconcile with kind of their own experience with things.
[00:15:27] Speaker D: Sure.
[00:15:27] Speaker B: They will try to. You know, if something happens to them, oftentimes they will disregard it because they don't want to confront the reality of what happened.
I think I see that a lot.
But, you know, until you. Until you kind of do that, reflecting and wrestling with those thoughts, like, you're.
[00:15:43] Speaker A: You're.
[00:15:44] Speaker B: You will be right where you are, and you're still gonna feel like you're trying to run from something.
[00:15:47] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:15:48] Speaker B: And that's not good, so.
[00:15:49] Speaker D: Right. Right. I know for me, over the years, the. The more. I'll say volatile feelings are the ones that are more difficult or the ones more difficult to express. Like, it would be. Resentment is a good one.
Anger.
And there was a third that I can't remember.
It was that volatile. I Think I've repressed it, but it was. But, you know, there was sort of volatile anger or the volatile feelings are tough to express again because you don't want to hurt the other person or what they're feeling or. Right.
[00:16:23] Speaker A: And I feel like, with anger too, like.
And this may go with all these, but especially when I'm angry, I find myself often going kind of quiet. You know what I mean? Like, and thinking in my head, like, you know, like, that really made me upset. But now that I think about it, I'm not sure if I really ever oftentimes, like, say something right then. You know what I mean? Like, I kind of hold that anger in for a while.
[00:16:49] Speaker D: So are you. I am a person that is slow to anger. Meaning that it takes a lot, which I guess means that I have some capacity to understand, I guess, or take it. Take it in. But when that anger builds that. When I can tell that anger building is when I can tell that I've been holding it in too long. And it's usually not just about one thing, but it's about, like, a series of things. So it sort of builds on itself and then on other things.
[00:17:23] Speaker A: I agree. I'd say I'm slow to anger, usually, but if it's something that, like, you know, very escalated, purposeful, I'm quick to it.
I'd say most. Most of the times. I'm probably pretty slow too, though. And it's more of a building type thing.
[00:17:42] Speaker D: Right.
How about for you, Edward? I was gonna say.
I was gonna say something, and then I would just.
[00:17:49] Speaker B: I mean, I don't know if I'm.
I think I allow. I'm. I'm not necessarily slow to anger, but I think I do allow. Like. I think oftentimes think I allow things to grow bigger in my head. They really are. Especially if I'm, like. If someone's, like, being annoying kind of pissed me off a little bit.
[00:18:09] Speaker D: Right.
[00:18:10] Speaker B: It just. Sometimes I'll just kind of let that fester and be like, I don't.
[00:18:14] Speaker D: You know.
[00:18:15] Speaker B: And even if they're. They're just kind of not meaning much by it, I'm just. I still, like, lose respect for him. I don't know. Just be like, all right, you gotta stop, is what I'm thinking. Of course, I don't often say that, but, yeah, something like that.
[00:18:29] Speaker D: Yeah. I think it's oftentimes. I think it's. It's often that.
That many people procrastinate on their feelings. And anger is a big one and certainly one that I recognize myself. And I know that I, I can feel in my body when I do that because after a while then I.
I can just feel my body tense up and I just feel all that stress sort of collectively in my body as well.
But I think there are those other feelings, too. Anxiety is another one. Resemblance. Resentment and anger, I think, go hand in hand.
[00:19:06] Speaker B: Definitely.
[00:19:07] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:19:07] Speaker B: Definitely.
[00:19:07] Speaker D: Yeah.
And there are a whole host of other feelings that, That I think we can. We can talk about, but there's. I think those volatile feelings are the ones that tend to maybe scare us the most and maybe that's part of the reason why we procrastinate about.
About expressing them. I agree, but certainly more to explore there.
[00:19:32] Speaker B: Yeah, 100%.
We're probably going to wrap things up here. Or not wrap things up. Just a segment, not the. Not the episode.
We'll take a short break and be right back. This is the BAMA Balance.
[00:20:00] Speaker A: Wvuafm, Tuscaloosa.
[00:20:03] Speaker C: This show is not a substitute for professional counseling. And no relationship is created between the show hosts or guests and any listeners. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, we encourage you to contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective counties crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
[00:20:38] Speaker B: Foreign.
[00:20:45] Speaker A: What's up, guys? We're back with segment two, and we were just talking about, you know, having grace when grace is needed maybe for some certain events or things that are happening.
Yeah, I mean, in general, people specifically, but some. Was it you? Dr. Perez made a great point. You know, when do you. When do you. When have you given enough grace? Yeah, when have you drawn that. Drawn that line? Or when should the line be drawn that you should feel okay with saying something? And I feel like that's kind of tough for a lot of people to
[00:21:18] Speaker D: do, I think so. It's tough for me, I think, to do particularly, you know, as we talk about how do we procrastinate certain feelings? And, you know, for me, one of them is anger, for example. And so over the years, I've learned that it's better not to do that.
But also if there's anger, if my anger is directed towards a person or someone, you know, I try as best that I can to be understanding and compassionate and extend some grace to that person. But then at what point is there not enough grace of mind to Go around. And at what point do I say, you know, I think I've had it.
You know, I mean, I don't know if you've been in those situations with people or, excuse me, others, where you go, you know, I just don't know that I can not be angry at you anymore. Or.
[00:22:09] Speaker A: I think I definitely have, and I probably honestly see that more than I thought I did now that you're sitting here talking about it.
[00:22:18] Speaker B: And it.
[00:22:20] Speaker A: The pestering kind of just nags at me sometimes, you know what I mean? Like, if it's constant trying to be annoying or something like that, I'm like, all right. Like, I don't even care. Saying something.
[00:22:32] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:22:33] Speaker A: But I feel like most of the times the unintentional annoyance is kind of hard to go about saying something. You know what I mean?
[00:22:40] Speaker D: That's a harder one because.
[00:22:41] Speaker A: Because that's one of those. You don't want to offend. Yes, anybody.
[00:22:45] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:22:46] Speaker A: Because that may just be them.
[00:22:47] Speaker D: That's true. That's true. And the first couple of times, it might be minor or it feels minor. Right. I don't know if you had that same kind of occurrence on Ordon.
I would.
[00:22:57] Speaker B: I mean, I would say probably.
[00:22:59] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:23:01] Speaker B: Again, like, that line is. Is. Is kind of one. I think it's case by case.
[00:23:07] Speaker D: Right.
[00:23:07] Speaker B: Having, like, certain people, I think, require more. I think you look at, like, why people do what they do. That adds a lot of context. That's important because some people, you know, maybe they just need help and they don't really know how to ask. They're just kind of being a certain way.
[00:23:23] Speaker D: Right.
[00:23:23] Speaker B: Some people are just annoying.
[00:23:26] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:23:27] Speaker B: Some people are just hard to deal with. And even it's not like an annoying thing. Maybe it's like, it's genuinely like they make you angry or they're doing things that are making you angry. Right.
Or they're. They're not doing something and that's making you angry.
But I think, you know, you have to try to do your best. I think. I think perspective always matters. And I think to try to understand where that line is, you have to understand where they're coming from.
[00:23:50] Speaker D: Sure.
[00:23:51] Speaker B: And then once you kind of have a grasp on, like, why they're doing what they're doing, then you can gauge whether you're, like, kind of where that line is. And sometimes it's like, it's a short leash. Sometimes you got to give a lot.
[00:24:00] Speaker D: So does it matter? Because as you were talking about this, it brought up this thought for me. Does it matter?
The you know, who it is, like the nature of that relationship. So I will find myself being more. Extending more grace or being more patient with friends than I might be with.
Well, I don't know.
[00:24:21] Speaker A: Now that I say that, see, I feel opposite way. Yeah, go ahead.
[00:24:25] Speaker D: I'm more comfortable. I just realized that now. Yeah.
[00:24:27] Speaker A: If one of my friends is doing something or, you know, like it's easier for me to go about saying something to them because they know that I'm doing it out of love.
[00:24:36] Speaker D: That's right.
[00:24:37] Speaker A: You know, I love that person. I've made that known.
[00:24:39] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:24:40] Speaker A: If they're doing something that's just driving me crazy, I'm like, hey, man, like, you gotta.
[00:24:44] Speaker D: That's right.
No, I'm glad you said that because as I was saying that, I realized, you know, it is easy with friends or folks that, you know, and I
[00:24:51] Speaker A: feel like they respect it more.
[00:24:53] Speaker D: That's right.
[00:24:53] Speaker A: You know, if you're not a friend with somebody, they may just be like, okay, well, I'm going to keep on.
[00:24:58] Speaker D: You know what I mean?
[00:24:59] Speaker A: But a friend, I feel like if they respect you and it's a friendship, they will be very.
Trying to think of the word here.
[00:25:08] Speaker D: They'll be your friend back. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:25:10] Speaker A: They'll be very good back to you.
[00:25:11] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, yeah. No, I. Again, as I was saying that, I realized, gosh, you know what it really is.
It's more about the. It is. Pardon, in part the relationship, certainly that friends. For me, it's easier for me to kind of show my true self and not procrastinate as much versus those. I don't know. Well, and maybe because I just don't know how they're going to react or they don't know kind of where I'm coming from. And.
And, you know, quite frankly, I sometimes wonder, is it the investment?
[00:25:43] Speaker B: Yeah. Is it worth it?
[00:25:45] Speaker A: Is it worth it in the long run?
[00:25:47] Speaker D: You know, and. And maybe it's just. I need to, you know, make you just make it known to them up front and then they can sort of decide on their own. I had this great boss years and years ago. He was from Chicago, and he was probably the most direct, the most honest person.
And I loved it. You know, I didn't have to guess where he was coming from. If he was, you know, if he was thankful or grateful or excited for things I was doing at work, he let me know it. And if he thought I needed some improvement, he'd let me know that too. Or. But I. I really, really appreciated that kind of honesty.
I think that's. I mean, at the heart of it, isn't that what it is too, in terms of.
By not procrastinating our feelings, we feel like we can be honest with that person.
[00:26:41] Speaker A: Yeah, definitely.
[00:26:42] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:26:42] Speaker A: And I feel like there's many positive things.
[00:26:45] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:26:46] Speaker A: You know, that. That one come out of it.
[00:26:48] Speaker D: 2.
[00:26:49] Speaker A: Positive emotion. Positive emotions that you do procrastinate.
[00:26:52] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:26:53] Speaker A: You know, like you said, you're getting this criticism, and we've all seen criticism. No matter where what you've done in the past growing up, you know, if you're in the band, if you're on the football team, those coaches are trying to help you become a better person.
So them not procrastinating and telling what you. What you can fix or do is going to benefit you. And I think that's a positive way of looking at it. You know, when you're procrastinating between friends, like, you know, would this help them in the future?
[00:27:19] Speaker D: That's right.
[00:27:20] Speaker B: So.
[00:27:20] Speaker D: That's right. Yeah. It comes out of love and friendship for them.
Now, I'm trying to think of a time when I've done that recently and I haven't. They've all been great, at least as I've talked to recently.
[00:27:35] Speaker A: And then there's some, like, you know, your friends do something great, like, when's the last time you've told them that
[00:27:42] Speaker D: you're proud of them? Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.
[00:27:44] Speaker A: And that's kind of tough to walk up to somebody that you have all this tough love with and say, hey, man, look like I'm seriously proud of you.
[00:27:51] Speaker D: You know, I kind of did that with a student recently.
They.
They were in a meeting. I was sitting in on a meeting, and they had, you know, talked to the larger group about where he had fallen short in some of his responsibilities to the group. I didn't expect expect that from him, but I can remember they're sitting down, really admiring the fact that he was open and honest with the group and had the courage to not only own what his shortcomings were, but also to dedicate himself to improving and doing better. So I walked up to him after the meeting. I said, I really admire you for that. You did a fantastic job. Thank you for doing that.
[00:28:47] Speaker B: That goes a long way with people, doesn't it?
[00:28:48] Speaker A: It does. Then he'll keep that in the back of his mind and be like, you know, last time I was in this situation, I got high praise for doing the right thing. Let's keep it rolling.
[00:28:58] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah. I wish we had more of that. I mean, I think.
[00:29:01] Speaker B: Even think. I think about, like, the. Like what that can do for your mental health.
[00:29:04] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:29:05] Speaker B: Like the micro interactions during an even day.
[00:29:08] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:29:08] Speaker B: Thank you. Receiving that. Thank you. Like, it just. I feel like that that's so good for people, and they don't even realize.
[00:29:14] Speaker D: So. So that goes then to this point to then, I guess, where we start off with where procrastinating our feelings, you know, can be detrimental to our mental health.
And how do we share those feelings with others in a way that not only helps us, but maybe helps them too.
Right.
[00:29:30] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:29:30] Speaker D: So sort of thinking back on the last time that happened for me is what brought up that memory as you were talking. Brooks, is there something in, like, recent time for either of you that that's happened?
I mean, then I'll say it now. You do. You guys are doing a great job. I really value us, our time together here. This is great.
[00:29:53] Speaker B: No honesty.
[00:29:54] Speaker A: Y' all are, too.
Not really anything that comes off the top of my head.
[00:30:02] Speaker B: I would.
[00:30:05] Speaker A: I. I can think about sometimes that I wish I would have been straightforward with people.
[00:30:09] Speaker D: Yeah, sure.
[00:30:10] Speaker A: And I think that's what I'm banging in my head right now.
[00:30:13] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:30:14] Speaker A: But missed opportunities are kind of what pop in my head.
But the. The benefit of us sitting here and talking about this type of thing is now this is going to be something that I think about.
[00:30:25] Speaker D: Gun force. Yeah.
[00:30:26] Speaker A: So I'll know what to look for and kind of how to handle things.
[00:30:30] Speaker D: It's kind of a blind side, in a way, for all of us. I think the more we talk about, at least the more we are raising awareness on our parts, more we can be aware of it, like you said, Roxy, and then take those opportunities the next time to be more intentional about it.
[00:30:44] Speaker A: My granddad always said, don't put off today what you. What you can or no, don't put off what you can do today until tomorrow.
[00:30:52] Speaker D: Tomorrow.
[00:30:53] Speaker A: That's been.
[00:30:53] Speaker D: Why is it great?
[00:30:56] Speaker A: Sometimes when I'm getting in my room and I'm like, God, I really want to do this homework, like, I can do it tomorrow.
And that pops in my head, all right, let's do it.
[00:31:05] Speaker D: Love it.
[00:31:05] Speaker A: And then it frees up time tomorrow.
[00:31:07] Speaker D: That's right.
[00:31:07] Speaker A: So.
[00:31:08] Speaker D: That's right.
[00:31:09] Speaker A: No, this has been great. I'm really glad we've been able to kind of chat about this. We'll be back for the outro here in a few minutes. This is the Bam Balance.
Wvuafm Tuscaloosa.
[00:31:37] Speaker C: This show is Not a substitute for professional counseling. And no relationship is created between the show hosts or guests and any listener. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, we encourage you to contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are an. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective counties crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
[00:32:18] Speaker D: Welcome back, everybody, to our last segment of the BAMA Balance. And this has been a great segment on emotional procrastination. And, you know, we've talked about some of those feelings that we tend to procrastinate the most. The more volatile feelings like anger, resentment, and also ones that can be helpful to.
To not procrastinate on, like gratitude or feeling grateful about another person.
And I guess as we wrap up this.
This episode, I'm left with, you know, the question of are there other. Are there other feelings that.
That we.
We procrastinate on that are positive?
You know, we mentioned, like gratitude, for sure. Yeah.
[00:33:08] Speaker A: Liking a girl or likewise the other way. Seriously, does that not get procrastinated on?
[00:33:15] Speaker D: I think it's fear, I think, or
[00:33:18] Speaker A: maybe fear drives me say something like, do I see something or do I not?
[00:33:23] Speaker D: Right.
[00:33:23] Speaker A: I think that that's probably the most common positive feeling.
[00:33:28] Speaker D: Like liking someone.
[00:33:29] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:33:30] Speaker D: Liking or loving someone?
[00:33:33] Speaker B: Liking, I would think.
[00:33:35] Speaker A: Probably liking. Right.
[00:33:36] Speaker B: I would think liking because. Liking because you're not going to love someone you never met.
[00:33:41] Speaker D: Right. But you've got. If you've. If you like them, then how much further does it take and how much more is it to procrastinate? You saying that you love them.
[00:33:52] Speaker A: See that, that. That's still tough.
[00:33:55] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:33:56] Speaker A: Yeah.
Both of those get procrastinated.
[00:33:59] Speaker D: That's right.
[00:34:00] Speaker A: They're both tough.
[00:34:01] Speaker D: Yeah, they're both tough. Why is that? I mean, they're both great feelings.
[00:34:04] Speaker A: I think it's fearful.
How does the other person respond? Oh, and I feel like that's been the whole. The whole thing of this, you know, like how does somebody respond when you. When you say something that you're trying to help them in a way, but they may take it as a negative thing.
[00:34:21] Speaker D: Right. Or, you know, how do they reject it?
[00:34:23] Speaker B: Right.
[00:34:24] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:34:25] Speaker D: Damn. Rejection. Right.
[00:34:26] Speaker A: That's rejection.
[00:34:27] Speaker D: That's a tough one.
You know, and how do we express that?
Probably like anger or.
[00:34:33] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:34:34] Speaker D: Sadness.
[00:34:36] Speaker A: Sit in your room all day.
[00:34:37] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:34:37] Speaker A: Eat a box of Oreos or something.
[00:34:39] Speaker D: Play A good Spotify playlist or something.
[00:34:43] Speaker A: I added.
[00:34:43] Speaker D: I saw a bunch. I know. I was happy to see that.
I think we're on 30 of our.
[00:34:51] Speaker A: So you added more?
[00:34:52] Speaker D: I added more. Yeah. I'm going back to our yet to be talked about Spotify playlist. But we. But we'll make it. We'll make. We'll talk more about it and make it. Get the information out there.
Yeah.
[00:35:03] Speaker B: So love and liking, I think, like, joy and a lot of, like, I feel like so oftentimes I won't let myself celebrate something because, like, if I. If I have, like, multiple tests in a week and I get done with one, I won't, like, let myself be happy that I did good or did. Or I'm just done with that test because I'm like, oh, I have another one in two days. It's like, well, you know, sometimes I feel like it's good to celebrate, even if it's just for a little bit. Like, yeah, maybe you did good on that test. Or at least it's done. Like, you put in work for it and now you're like, you can kind of see that through, but just allowing yourself to, you know, be happy and joyful in moments where it might seem like there's something down the road that's, like, dreadful. But, you know, watch this. Stop you from enjoying what you got.
[00:35:48] Speaker D: Taking the time to celebrate yourself and.
[00:35:51] Speaker B: Yeah. Or anything, for that matter.
[00:35:53] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:35:53] Speaker B: But I guess in this context, yourself,
[00:35:55] Speaker D: when was the last time you were able to do that?
[00:36:00] Speaker B: Well, I will say this. I. I think I. I did have a. A test on Monday that I think went well.
[00:36:07] Speaker A: There you go.
[00:36:09] Speaker B: That. Or the basketball game. Of course, that wasn't something I did, but.
[00:36:15] Speaker D: Or maybe it was your school.
[00:36:16] Speaker B: I was gonna say my school did. I remember my classmates did.
[00:36:20] Speaker A: Our school, for sure.
[00:36:21] Speaker B: So for sure. Which, you know, we. And in that way, I did do it because, you know, we're all one. We're all one body.
[00:36:28] Speaker A: So I think fear.
[00:36:31] Speaker D: Oh.
[00:36:31] Speaker A: Is also one that maybe is very common.
[00:36:34] Speaker D: Like, I'm afraid of.
[00:36:36] Speaker A: Afraid of certain. Of certain things maybe, you know, if somebody is trying to figure out how to put this. If somebody's doing something, like, around you or something in a way that makes you fearful.
[00:36:50] Speaker D: Right.
[00:36:51] Speaker A: You know?
[00:36:52] Speaker D: Right.
[00:36:53] Speaker A: And I feel like every emotion can. Can come to this at some point.
[00:36:57] Speaker D: It can. It can, I think, fear. How do we learn? So certainly there. There's judgment and prudence about not wanting to be too raw.
Right. And expressing your emotions. But how do we learn sort of the when, where, how and why of being able to express what we feel and not over procrastinate. I'll say.
[00:37:25] Speaker A: Personally, I would try to look at it in a way of like, how would I want this to be done?
You know what I mean?
Because if it's not in an appropriate manner, if I would think it's inappropriate, then then you know, they probably will too.
And I mean, maybe not in front of other people, you know, one on one type.
[00:37:49] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah, deal. That's.
[00:37:51] Speaker A: You don't want to embarrass anybody out of it.
[00:37:53] Speaker D: Yeah. Depending on what it is that you want express.
[00:37:55] Speaker A: Unless you're like a football coach, like, hey, chop your feet faster or like something like that, like do your job. Yeah. Like, come on.
I feel like in certain ways there is. It is better to get criticized and that shown in front of a group.
But if it's something one on one and you think it may embarrass the other person, I think that should just stay one on one on one.
[00:38:17] Speaker D: You know, there was something that I learned, this was in a psychology class years and years and years ago, but it's. It comes from this notion of being a person and how are you as a person congruent with how are your. How are your actions and behaviors congruent with your thoughts and feelings? And. And if you are able to sort of align all that, then not only does that enrich you, who you are as a person, but.
But you grow from it and you start to understand more about who you are and the kind of person that you want to be in the world and who people see.
[00:39:02] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:39:02] Speaker D: You know, and I would hope that over time, people, over time that who I've gotten better at that and people, you know, see did see me for who I am versus seeing me as whatever it is that, you know, that's not me. That makes sense. Right.
[00:39:22] Speaker A: You know, I definitely agree.
[00:39:23] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah.
But this has all been great. I like the fact that we're able to kind of approach these issues, talk about ways that, you know, holding back on our emotion can be detrimental and also beneficial to our own mental health.
I can guarantee you that there was none of that present last night at the game and that, you know, it was all pretty raw emotion. Yeah, yeah.
[00:39:51] Speaker A: Bad call. We're going to tell you about it.
[00:39:53] Speaker D: Correct. That's exactly right. Which you know what, I think sports is good for that kind of thing. It sort of lends itself to the kind of that outlet, that catharsis and you know, and so the behaviors may not necessarily be the healthiest, but maybe for the.
[00:40:11] Speaker A: Maybe for the person that's doing the yellow.
[00:40:13] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:40:13] Speaker A: Whoever's on the receiving end of it may have a tough time.
[00:40:16] Speaker D: Yeah, that's true. Or, you know, even a concert, if you've ever been in a concert lately. And I can't remember the last time I was at a concert, but.
But the most joyful I've been at a concert are the ones where I've lost my voice and just singing along or something. Even as. Even at a, you know, football game or something like that where it's just. Oh, yeah, that's it.
[00:40:39] Speaker B: Now I'm excited. Football season.
[00:40:40] Speaker D: I know, right?
So it's, it's.
So it's that kind of thing, I think that helps us grow as people and helps us with becoming who we want to be.
But this has been great.
[00:40:53] Speaker A: We'll definitely have to get on the letter to your younger self at some point.
[00:40:57] Speaker B: Yeah, I love.
[00:40:58] Speaker A: We've already introduced.
[00:40:59] Speaker D: Yeah, we'll put a pin on that. That and then bring it back to, to one of our episodes here. One of the remaining episodes that we have left here in the semester, I'll add. But until then, you know, we've got a long more. A long more ways to go.
But this has been great, everybody. Thanks. For those who joined us, I'm Tony Perez.
[00:41:23] Speaker B: I'm Edward Felton.
[00:41:24] Speaker D: I'm Brooks Barbary. This has been the battle balance. We'll see you next time.
[00:41:44] Speaker A: Wvuafm, Tuscaloosa.
[00:41:47] Speaker C: This show was not intended as a substitute for professional counseling. Further, the views, opinions and conclusions expressed by the show hosts or their guests are their own and not necessarily those of the University of Alabama, its office officers or trustees. Any views, opinions or conclusions shared on the show do not create a relationship between the host or any guest and any listener, and such a relationship should never be inferred. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, please contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective county's crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
