Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: This show is not a substitute for professional counseling and no relationship is created between the show host or guests and any listener. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, we encourage you to contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective counties crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
[00:00:41] Speaker B: What's up, guys? We're back for the episode. Fourth episode of this semester. Welcome back to the Bama Balance. Real stories about college men's mental health. As we were sitting here talking, I think we're all starting to get busy. There's some fun stuff, buzz going around campus. So how's everybody been?
[00:00:59] Speaker C: You know, it's been kind of good lately. I think that, you know, we're on the heels of that FSU game now and seeing how the rest of the season is going, I had to bring.
[00:01:12] Speaker D: It up how to cope with football.
[00:01:13] Speaker C: I had to bring that up because we would be. We would be doing ourselves a disservice if we weren't answerable to our own kind of optimistic predictions.
[00:01:27] Speaker D: Yeah, we'll save y' all grief and not do any more score predictions.
[00:01:31] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. At this point, we. We don't want to take any chances. And I don't think it's the case, though. I don't think we've jinxed it. But, you know, out of an abundance.
[00:01:40] Speaker B: Of caution, zero for one is never good.
Not good.
[00:01:49] Speaker C: You know, it's.
I would agree with that.
And also at the same time, it's being able to build for the future.
Right, right. What did we learn there that we know now that we didn't back in Tallahassee? What did you find out? What do you know now about that, about that game? Because you were there. You were there, right?
[00:02:16] Speaker D: I was. I was.
You know, it's just. It's one of those days where you. You get sunburnt, you get rained on when you're told it's not gonna rain, so you leave your rain jacket in the car and then you lose your team loses the football game. So you learn. You do a lot of self reflecting on the drive back home about, you know, just life in general.
But, you know, the team.
[00:02:44] Speaker C: They look.
[00:02:44] Speaker D: They look better this last weekend.
[00:02:46] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:02:48] Speaker D: But again, it's like, it's hard to really feel much better because it was yo Monroe. So I think they just gotta, you know, play A little.
A little harder.
[00:02:59] Speaker C: So at this point, we're not going to tempt the fates anymore by sending out a score prediction. I think we've learned. But also, we haven't lost faith.
[00:03:10] Speaker B: That's right. Not yet.
[00:03:11] Speaker C: That's the other thing.
[00:03:11] Speaker B: Stay strong.
[00:03:12] Speaker C: Did you say not yet, Edward?
[00:03:15] Speaker D: I'm just saying.
[00:03:16] Speaker C: Did you say not yet? Wait a minute.
[00:03:19] Speaker D: No, I mean, I haven't. I haven't lost faith.
[00:03:22] Speaker C: All right.
[00:03:23] Speaker D: I am.
[00:03:24] Speaker B: That's good. Maybe you'll stay that way.
[00:03:26] Speaker D: The assumption that, you know, no one's saving.
[00:03:30] Speaker C: Oh, that's a good point. So that's a good point.
And yeah, it's been a busy start to the semester then, nonetheless. Right.
And I guess it's at this point, this point in the semester, things are starting to actually kind of ramp up with exams and stuff like that. First round of exams, no doubt.
[00:03:53] Speaker B: This will be a. Or the next week coming up will be a very big week for me.
And it seems like when one person starts having tests here, we all go, doesn't it?
[00:04:04] Speaker D: The floodgates open.
[00:04:05] Speaker B: I think that's exactly how it goes.
So there will be a bunch of stress walking around on that campus next week.
[00:04:12] Speaker C: Is it. Do you feel like you're less alone, like when everybody else is in the midst of that stress?
[00:04:20] Speaker B: Oh, you're in it together.
[00:04:21] Speaker C: You're in it together.
[00:04:22] Speaker B: No doubt.
[00:04:22] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:04:23] Speaker B: It helps having. Especially if you have friends in the class, then you can look at them, be like, oh, we're both in trouble.
[00:04:28] Speaker C: That's right. That's right. You can commiserate together.
[00:04:31] Speaker B: No doubt.
[00:04:31] Speaker C: Gotcha.
[00:04:33] Speaker B: Well, this will be it for the first intro segment, and we'll be back in segment two here in a second.
[00:05:00] Speaker A: This show is not a substitute for professional counseling, and no relationship is created between the show host or guests and any listener. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, we encourage you to contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective counties crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
[00:05:38] Speaker D: Welcome back to the first segment of the Bama Balance podcast.
And right now we're going to kind of dive in. We're going to push away from football to talk about the important things, but we're going to talk about stress. And we mentioned a little bit of it. With the beginning of exams coming up, everyone starts to feel kind of that pressure that, you know, it's like, okay, I gotta actually pay attention to class now. Like, at least that's what I feel sometimes. So.
Yeah, like, what are some ways y' all think it is? Because there's. There's. Obviously, there's great ways to deal with stress, and there's less great ways to deal with stress. So what are what. I guess, what are some ways y' all think y' all would say good ways to deal with stress?
[00:06:20] Speaker C: Well, I, you know, I guess I was. Let me back it up for a minute and. And ask, how do you know that you're stressed?
[00:06:26] Speaker D: It's a good point. I mean, I would say I think it affects your behavior and it affects your mental.
If you're, you know, typically a certain way and you're noticeably different to the point where you're noticing that you're different.
[00:06:46] Speaker C: Right.
[00:06:47] Speaker D: Could be an indicator of something stress induced or, you know, oftentimes, like, your body will tell you. Sometimes people get headaches when they're stressed. Sometimes people are really cranky. Sometimes people are really tired. I think it just. It is very.
It is very much so.
You know, there. There are signs, mental and physical responses that your body gives you to let you know, hey, take a deep breath, trust.
[00:07:12] Speaker C: So. Because this time, first round of exams, and they just seem like they're piling on.
If I looked at you, if I saw you sort of on the quad, how would I know that you're stressed?
What would I see or what would I hear?
[00:07:29] Speaker D: Sometimes I do this kind of stress.
[00:07:33] Speaker C: Kind of hands to the face.
[00:07:35] Speaker B: I see you do that. I know you're having a tough time.
[00:07:37] Speaker D: Yeah.
That is one thing that if I'm really pondering something that I don't want to.
[00:07:44] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:07:44] Speaker D: That's like the go to movement or emote.
[00:07:48] Speaker C: Right.
[00:07:49] Speaker D: That's something.
[00:07:50] Speaker C: Yeah. I bet. I bet there was a lot of that going on.
Okay.
[00:07:54] Speaker D: Oh, yeah, there's.
[00:07:56] Speaker B: There was a lot of verbiage.
[00:07:57] Speaker C: Oh, that goes along with that.
[00:07:59] Speaker D: A lot of. A lot of words that went along.
[00:08:00] Speaker C: It goes along with that. Does that go along with being stressed?
[00:08:05] Speaker D: Not typically.
[00:08:06] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:08:06] Speaker D: With football. Yeah.
[00:08:07] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:08:08] Speaker D: Okay. That's also anger with that.
[00:08:09] Speaker C: Oh, that's true. That's a good point. Oh, that's a good point. Right. When does anger become a part of that stress?
[00:08:14] Speaker D: Which, you know, I think it can be. It's a. Not a byproduct, but it certainly, like, adds to it.
[00:08:19] Speaker C: Right.
[00:08:20] Speaker D: And as a part of that.
[00:08:21] Speaker C: Right.
[00:08:22] Speaker D: You can get angrier with people, when you're stressed very easily or easier than you might.
But yeah, it's just like hands to.
[00:08:32] Speaker C: The face kind of thing.
[00:08:33] Speaker D: Face definitely not as joyful.
[00:08:39] Speaker B: I think in my four years here, I've noticed that the quad, if you're walking in class right now, very lively, a lot of chatter.
You know, you've got some, some, some people that are louder than others. You can hear conversations.
[00:08:52] Speaker C: Right.
[00:08:52] Speaker B: But at some point soon, it's gonna die down very quick.
[00:08:55] Speaker C: I've not noticed that. So tell me more about that, Brooks.
[00:08:59] Speaker B: Well, when I'm walking an exam, I love to just that day, listening to music. I normally don't put in headphones while I'm walking to class or anything like that, but anything to take my mind off of what I'm about to do, try to do.
[00:09:13] Speaker C: Gotcha.
[00:09:14] Speaker B: I know there's a lot of people, week to week, day to day, that wear headphones, going to class. But I know for a fact, for me, if I'm about to take a test, I'll put in headphones, listen to music and that type of thing. But it will get, if you actually pay attention to it, I think it does get a lot quieter and less lively.
Not as many people hanging out there during these busy weeks. And like I said, we're all.
I feel like all of our tests get put together kind of in a similar range. So you can tell the weeks that are, you know, more heavy on class than the others, that sort of thing.
[00:09:49] Speaker D: I think, sorry, I was gonna say, like, that made me think about how, you know, you said, like, there's people on the quad, people are together, and then high stress situation comes up.
You're like, not with people anymore. Which oftentimes that's to, you know, if you need to, like, focus, you don't want distraction. But it also can be just a response of, like, thinking, you know, like isolation being a response to stress.
[00:10:11] Speaker C: Sure.
[00:10:12] Speaker D: Which is probably not a great thing, at least in this, in terms of like, the word isolation. Now focus, if you need focus. Like, that's certainly.
[00:10:22] Speaker C: That feels different.
[00:10:22] Speaker D: It feels different. But if you're, if you're isolating yourself because you're trying, you're feeling stressed, I think that's like a.
Not a great response. That is interesting that you can kind of see, like Brooks said, right. Like, people are right now, they're out, they're with each other, they're throwing Frisbee, they're playing volleyball, and then they won't be, so.
[00:10:43] Speaker C: That's right. That's right. No that's true. Do you. So, Brooks, do you. Do you feel like when you're stressed that.
Are you. Are you more. Do you tend to focus more inward or, like, how do you. How do you react to your stress?
[00:11:03] Speaker B: Yeah, I'd say probably more on the inward side of things. For me, when I'm studying, I kind of like to do it on my own, Whereas I know a ton of my friends, they're big group studiers that. That sort of thing. But on these busy weeks, especially with my old classes, where I'd have to really walk in and get stuff done, you know, it's headphones in the room.
[00:11:26] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:11:27] Speaker B: You know, low lighting.
But, I mean, there's. Like you were saying, there's so many different ways that people deal with this.
And I'm not saying that I'm alone all the time on these weeks. I try to get ahead as much as I can so that, you know, specific part of the day, like dinner for us, you know, everybody's at the house together.
That normally leads into, like, a basketball game or shooting pool after dinner. I find that very helpful just because it gives me a little bit of a break.
But, I mean, you know, people do it different ways. And I do think breaks are very well known.
You know, go for a walk or shoot basketball, like I was saying, play a game, volleyball, something like that. Just anything for me personally, to get my mind off of it for, you know, even if it's our.
That's good for me.
[00:12:22] Speaker C: But how would I know? So looking at you right now, it doesn't look like I'd have a hard time telling if you were stressed or not, like.
[00:12:30] Speaker B: Yeah, I think I hide it pretty well.
[00:12:31] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:12:32] Speaker B: I think if you were to get into a conversation with me, you could start to tell that I've got a ton of things going everywhere in my mind.
[00:12:40] Speaker C: Right.
[00:12:41] Speaker B: But as far as, like, I mean, I think I do a pretty good job on the quad. Like, I'm just acting like I'm listening to music. There are truly a million things going.
[00:12:50] Speaker C: Through my head, so. And that's. That's it. So in those million things, what are some of those million things that are going on through your head when you're feeling stressed?
[00:12:57] Speaker B: Normally, it's. How good do I really have to do on this test?
[00:13:01] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:13:02] Speaker B: What happens if I don't do good on this test? I always think about the negatives for some reason.
[00:13:06] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:13:07] Speaker B: And that's awful.
[00:13:08] Speaker C: Right.
[00:13:09] Speaker B: I wish I was the opposite, which.
[00:13:11] Speaker C: Kind of contributes to the stress, too. Right. So the negative Thought. How about for you, Edward?
[00:13:15] Speaker D: Like, what kind of thoughts go through my head?
[00:13:17] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:13:17] Speaker D: I mean, I would say probably similar. I think, for being honest, there's a lot of that. There's also a lot of pre.
Pre exam prayer. I'm like, you know, just try to, you know, I want to do well also. I got to remember, like, these things are very important, but they're not, like, worth so much of my. I guess, like, being. That's kind of the wrong way to put it. That's not to say, like, I don't try.
[00:13:49] Speaker C: No, no. I think I know what you're saying.
[00:13:51] Speaker D: It's. I guess it's more so, you know, you have to trust that the work you put in will result in the outcome you want.
[00:14:01] Speaker C: Sure.
[00:14:01] Speaker D: And it's like, since wind is like. There's this. There's this movie my dad and I watched, Bridge of Spies. I don't know if you've seen that.
[00:14:10] Speaker C: Oh, I haven't. I've heard. I know it.
[00:14:12] Speaker D: It was pretty good, but it was there. There's this, you know, Soviet spy gets captured, and he's on trial in America, and he's just completely, like, calm. And the guy who's been appointed to defend him, he's like, why aren't you worried? And he goes, would it help?
[00:14:27] Speaker C: Mm.
[00:14:27] Speaker D: And I think I try to remember that a lot. Is, like, very rarely does worrying about something or being, like, actively, like, putting thought into something help it. Now there's. Sometimes you just can't physically help, not about something, but trying to put that out of your mind and going, all right, let's center myself and try to remember, you know, like, I've put in the work. I don't need to be worried. And if I haven't, then I also don't need to be worried for different reasons. I know what score I'm gonna get. But, like, that's just kind of what it is. You gotta trust your preparation.
[00:15:04] Speaker C: You know, that's so good because it's. You know, stress can be so overwhelming. Well, one stress is this sort of natural reaction to anything that's threatened that threatens us. Right. So we have this sort of physiological reaction, fight or flight. But also our thoughts can get caught up in that stress, too, where we can be overwhelmed with it and we can feel so burdened by those thoughts that we, you know, you might lose all sense of control or go in a really dark place, you know, if you let yourself. Good. I think what you mentioned, Edward, is how to regain that perspective and really some solace in knowing what you can control and what you can't, and sort of trusting in your own process or trusting in your own preparation as it pertains to exams, but almost with other things that you know that you can control only what you. You can control, and that you've sort of got to trust in your ability to move forward with it.
[00:16:21] Speaker B: I do want to hop on that real quick.
So another thing I do when I'm walking to exams, sometimes I find myself calling my dad.
[00:16:29] Speaker C: Oh, yeah.
[00:16:30] Speaker B: And it's just like, you know, I just want to talk to somebody that's good, just about random stuff. You know, this time of the year, it's probably going to be about Alabama football.
And the one thing he always says before we get off the phone, like when I'm about to walk into the building, he's like, hey, look, like you've done all the work for it, you know, like, what's there to be worried about? Yeah, because you always ask, like, how are you feeling? And I'm like, I hope it goes well. He's like, look, just know it. Like, obviously you've done all this work.
Why tell yourself you're not getting good? And most of the times when you do tell yourself, like, look, I've worked my butt off here.
It's time to go.
And that's normally when you get the best results.
[00:17:09] Speaker C: No, that's so good. That's so good. And what you both talk about is make sure you've developed a game plan and trusting in that game plan and contributing to it, not just coming up with it, but actually putting in the pieces for it. And then when game time comes, you trust in it and trust that you prepared well enough and sure enough. And.
And that is. And that's your best effort at that time.
That's a great. That's a great thing. I love that. Brooks.
[00:17:47] Speaker D: Well, that is the end of our first segment here.
Tune in after a break.
We'll be right back with the BAMA Balance Podcast, Real stories about college men's mental health.
[00:18:20] Speaker A: This show is not a substitute for professional counseling and no relationship is created between the show hosts or guests and any listener. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, we encourage you to contact the UA Counseling center at 348.
If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective counties crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
[00:19:02] Speaker C: Welcome back, everybody, to the Bama Balance. Real stories about college men's mental health.
So for this second segment, we, you know, we'll talk a little bit more about, you know, stress and again, particularly during this time of the semester where, you know, there are a number of exams that are, that are coming on and everyone's experiencing, but also take a look at what we do to cope with that stress.
So I guess in terms of coping and ways that each one of us builds resilience for the future and facing stress, how would you both talk about how you cope with stress? What are the things you do to manage or cope with stress?
Particularly during exam week or kind of this examination?
[00:19:51] Speaker B: I kind of spoke on it a little bit earlier.
You know, I like to study on my own, but I also make sure that I find time to talk to people, do some stuff that'll get my mind off of things.
Typically after I'm done studying, I try to finish studying within a, within a time period, reasonable time period where I can like watch a movie or a TV show or something like that.
[00:20:15] Speaker C: Right.
[00:20:16] Speaker B: Because I mean, sleep is huge during all this and that's something that I try to make sure that I get plenty of.
[00:20:24] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:20:25] Speaker B: You know, if I see myself tying up a bunch of different stuff together that shouldn't be going together while I'm studying, okay, look, it's time to put it down.
[00:20:34] Speaker C: Right?
[00:20:34] Speaker B: Focus on myself for a little bit and then get some good rest, get back after it tomorrow. Yeah, but I mean, it's different for a ton of people. I know a ton of people that go work out and they're heavy on, you know, the gym to break stuff up. Yeah, I did that a lot this summer when I was taking my two classes. And it truly helped too because you're in such a time crunch of a period. You know, it's class for three hours, then studying for another five.
Well, I mean, not the normal person can just go through eight hours of pure educational topics and not get some sort of break.
[00:21:09] Speaker C: That's true. True. Now I'm glad you mentioned, I'm glad you mentioned sleep, that rest and recovery is really, that's so important. How many hours of sleep do you average a night or what is it that you need for restful sleep?
[00:21:22] Speaker B: I typically find probably about around 7, which that's probably a little on the lower end. I know 8's like the target or proper amount of sleep, but, but I'm also like resting up. Like I'm not run, run, run till 10 o'. Clock.
[00:21:41] Speaker C: That's a really good Point.
[00:21:42] Speaker B: I mean, I'm normally sitting around earlier, like I said, watching a movie or something, where my mind's not having to constantly work a ton in.
What do you do, Edward? What's your night to night?
[00:21:54] Speaker D: Look during exam week, I think it is.
I'd say pretty soon similar, I think, making sure I'm. Because I'm not sip. I mean, I. I generally try to get good sleep, but I also enjoy being with people. I enjoy watching movies and kind of like having nights to myself. So, yeah, I think it's important for me to just be disciplined in what I'm doing, make sure I'm giving enough time to study, giving enough time to the material tag where I can actually learn it.
[00:22:27] Speaker C: Right.
[00:22:27] Speaker D: But I think. Because I think for me, a lot, like, a lot of my stressors come from feeling unprepared.
[00:22:34] Speaker C: Mm.
[00:22:35] Speaker D: So While, like, it's not always fun to just kind of sit and, like, force myself to learn something, I know, like, on the back end, it'll be better for me because I never feel worse stress than when I wake up for exam the day of, and I'm like, crap. I don't know anything.
That. That stress is worse than. Gosh, the stress of, like, trying to, like, study it.
[00:22:59] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:23:00] Speaker D: So I think that's, like, one way I try to, like, preemptively avoid it.
[00:23:05] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:23:06] Speaker D: But when it's there, I mean, it's just kind of, you know, making sure I. I'm getting enough sleep, drinking water. Sometimes I just forget to, like, hydrate.
[00:23:16] Speaker C: Oh, God.
[00:23:17] Speaker D: Important, like, right. Especially here with how hot it is.
[00:23:20] Speaker C: Yeah.
You can easily lose track and just.
[00:23:24] Speaker D: Track of the littlest things.
[00:23:26] Speaker C: Yeah, no, that's true.
[00:23:27] Speaker B: So eating right.
[00:23:28] Speaker D: Eating right.
And. Yeah. Giving your brain a break, too. That's one thing I forget is, like, a very. Like, I try to, you know, study in blocks. Like, give 20 minutes of good, hard focus. Maybe 30.
[00:23:43] Speaker B: Probably.
[00:23:43] Speaker D: Probably 30.
[00:23:44] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:23:44] Speaker D: And then maybe take five minutes.
[00:23:46] Speaker C: So both of these go back to the 30.
The two of you sound very, like, planful and intentional in terms of how you approach your studies. Were you always that way, like freshman year?
[00:23:57] Speaker B: Absolutely not.
[00:23:59] Speaker D: I don't even know if I'm that way now.
[00:24:00] Speaker C: Okay. Well, it sounds like it. Yours sounds like it.
[00:24:05] Speaker D: I talk about it.
It's not always put into practice the.
[00:24:08] Speaker C: Best way, you know, I mean, it's the. A part of that is consistency and all that, but, you know, it sounds like, for the most part, you have a plan of action. Got a game plan. Yeah.
[00:24:20] Speaker B: I also feel like freshman year you know, the classes aren't as tough, and with that being said, you're not gonna have to study as hard. I think sophomore year is where you find out a ton about yourself.
Now you need to go about stuff.
[00:24:35] Speaker C: Yeah, that's a great.
[00:24:36] Speaker B: Um. And I mean, it's different for everybody who's taken different classes, but I think sophomore year is really when you find out exactly what your study habits need to look like in order for you to take care of stress.
[00:24:51] Speaker C: Right.
[00:24:52] Speaker B: Or limit it to the max. Because, I mean, it's going to happen no matter what.
[00:24:55] Speaker C: I'm so glad you said that, Brooks. I remember talking to a number of freshmen or now sophomores, and they would say that in their first year, freshman year, that they thought they knew how to study, but they didn't.
And they started to realize, oh, the way I'm studying now was the way I studied when I was in high school, which is a totally different game. Is that the way you found it, too?
[00:25:30] Speaker B: I think so, yeah.
[00:25:32] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah. What did it take to develop that more focused or more intentional approach?
[00:25:40] Speaker D: I think just time and exposure, at least for me. Like, it's hard for me to just, like, read something or when I'm trying to learn how to do something right. Like, for instance, when I would play sports as a kid and our coach would just, like, show me a drill, I'd be so clueless. So I'd be like, I have no idea what you just did. I need to, like, do it to learn it.
[00:26:03] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:26:04] Speaker D: So I think a lot of trial and error, a lot of figuring out, like, what is helpful, what I. Is good for me. I think that's just kind of how I go about doing. The studying thing is just trying to, you know, trial and error.
That's kind of the name of the.
[00:26:19] Speaker C: Game, be intentional about it. And those are all great ways to manage and kind of cope with the stress. What is the difference between now coping with stress and resilience? How would you. Are they the same? Are they different?
[00:26:34] Speaker B: I was going to answer the question you said earlier, but, no, this question is how I'm going to answer it. So you said, how did I learn?
I think failure.
[00:26:46] Speaker C: Oh, that's a great teacher.
[00:26:48] Speaker B: Not saying that I was failing all of my tests, but if I did underperform, you know, looking back on those things, and I spoke earlier as we were sitting around talking, resilience, I look at is like active recovery planning for your next step and how to be better the next time you do something.
So I felt like you Know, managing stress comes with resilience because when you're being resilient, you're bettering yourself in habits leading up to something.
So therefore, you're gonna have less stress because you feel better about it, if that makes any sense.
[00:27:24] Speaker C: Say that one more time, Brooks.
[00:27:26] Speaker B: So basically, resilience is me learning from my failures, correcting mistakes, whether that's studying or habits that I had leading up to the test.
And I feel like that kind of manages my stress on its own just because I feel better about the whole.
[00:27:44] Speaker C: Got it.
[00:27:45] Speaker B: Operation.
[00:27:47] Speaker C: So learning from what went right or what didn't go as well, and that sort of accumulation of experience is a part of building resilience. Is that same. Is that. What is that?
[00:28:01] Speaker B: Basically. I know I worded that very confusingly.
[00:28:04] Speaker C: No, no, no, no. I think I'm tracking. I think I'm tracking. I like that.
Is that similar for you, Edward, or.
[00:28:09] Speaker D: I would say pretty similar. I think my.
The web. Resilience. Resilience is like fighting through adversity.
[00:28:15] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:28:16] Speaker D: Yep.
So just like, kind of, you know, coping is like how to. How to deal with something. The resilience is like, moving past it for me.
I mean, it's two steps in the same path, really.
[00:28:31] Speaker C: Right.
[00:28:34] Speaker D: But, yeah, I mean, it just looks like, like I said, trial and error, and as Brooke said, like, failing. Like you. Yeah, the failure is the best teacher. So you just kind of. You can learn a lot from that.
[00:28:46] Speaker C: Right.
[00:28:47] Speaker D: You know, if you do well on a test, it's like you. You know. You know, you did do, but it's hard to know what you could have done better if you do good in a test. Like, it's clearly doing something right. But, yeah, that being said, like, you know, it just. The ability to learn from failures, the ability to learn from trial and error, I think is. Is huge because it. It kind of helps. It's. It makes it like a puzzle.
And you're just trying to solve that puzzle of, like, what's the. What's the best way to go about this? That piece didn't fit there.
[00:29:20] Speaker C: Cool.
[00:29:20] Speaker D: Let me try something else. Let me try to put that somewhere else.
[00:29:22] Speaker C: Right.
[00:29:23] Speaker D: Kind of how I look at it.
[00:29:25] Speaker C: What I love, loved about what you said, Edward, and what you said, Brooks, is that building resilience is about learning, is about learning. Learning about how well you've coped with a situation or a difficulty and applying that learning and storing it so that you can use it the next time around. So you learn from it. And that learning from it, you build a sense of Resiliency that comes from those learned moments of success or failure.
And that by knowing how to cope effectively, as well as knowing that you have some experiences to draw on and building resiliency allows you to. I think you mentioned this, Edward. To meet that adversity or fight through that adversity.
I guess one of the things I think of too, in terms of resilience is maintaining that resilience or something that really strengthens it.
And so the question in my mind that I had as you guys were talking was, do you have a playlist that.
That you listen to, like, you get ready for exams or get ready for a test or something like that?
And what's on. What are the top three songs on that playlist?
[00:30:56] Speaker B: Top three songs. I don't know. I'm big on Motown.
[00:31:00] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:31:01] Speaker B: Yeah. I'm a Motown studier.
[00:31:03] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:31:03] Speaker B: I just feel like it's kind of like happy music in a way.
[00:31:07] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:31:08] Speaker B: Very kind of.
[00:31:08] Speaker C: Yep.
[00:31:09] Speaker B: Slow, mellow.
I mean, I.
It's. It's probably like 250 songs.
[00:31:17] Speaker C: That's good.
[00:31:17] Speaker B: That's good. Just put it on shuffle play and let it. Let it go.
[00:31:21] Speaker C: But you've got a playlist.
[00:31:22] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:31:23] Speaker C: That's. That's cool. How for you, Edward?
[00:31:26] Speaker D: I listen to, like, movie scores when I study.
[00:31:28] Speaker C: Oh.
[00:31:29] Speaker D: I love movies because I think I. Sometimes words are distracting.
[00:31:32] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:31:34] Speaker D: So I'll do that sometimes. Sometimes I'll do mariachi music because I don't know Spanish. So, like, you hear. You hear people singing.
[00:31:40] Speaker C: It's good.
[00:31:41] Speaker D: But you. I don't know what they're saying. So it's like I. I still get the feel of a song, but it's. But mainly. Mainly, like, scores of movies. I don't know what, like, the top three songs would be. They kind of all.
[00:31:52] Speaker C: That's fair.
[00:31:53] Speaker D: But I'd say the movies that I think I. For the. The movies that.
[00:31:59] Speaker C: The.
[00:31:59] Speaker D: Most of the music I listen to comes from is probably interstellar.
[00:32:02] Speaker C: Okay. Okay.
[00:32:04] Speaker B: That's probably a great.
[00:32:05] Speaker D: It's. It's such a vibe.
[00:32:07] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:32:07] Speaker D: It's such a vibe.
[00:32:08] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:32:09] Speaker D: Lord of the Rings has some good, calmer music at times to study, too.
[00:32:14] Speaker C: Right.
[00:32:17] Speaker D: Really? Anything by Hans Zimmer is just probably pretty good.
He does. He's just done a lot of good things. So.
[00:32:23] Speaker C: Is that one of his scores? I can't probably.
Gosh.
We could go on and on.
[00:32:29] Speaker B: We should do.
[00:32:30] Speaker C: You know what we should do?
Maybe we should have a Bama Balance podcast playlist.
Spotify playlist. What do you think about that?
[00:32:40] Speaker B: If we're putting mariachi in Motown together.
[00:32:43] Speaker D: I was about to say mariachi, Motown.
[00:32:46] Speaker C: We sort of keep it. Yeah. We maybe curated for our listeners and they can add to it. Yeah, maybe not a bad thing to start thinking about.
[00:32:53] Speaker B: No doubt.
[00:32:54] Speaker C: Anyway. No, I think that those are great, great insights in terms of not only coping with stress, but also how do you develop that resiliency in times when you are stressed and knowing that you can cope with adversity as well as withstand it and meet it head on. I guess, regardless of maybe what the stress is. Anyway, there's more we can certainly talk about and we'll try to wrap up at least our takeaways from this episode in the next segment. This is the Bama Balance. We'll be right back.
[00:33:53] Speaker A: This show is not a substitute for professional counseling and no relationship is created between the show host or guests and any listener. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, we encourage you to contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective county school crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
[00:34:38] Speaker B: Alright, guys, we're back. This will be our ending outro.
And as I was sitting here thinking, we all three were talking about some different stuff. And we all have very different ways of, you know, going about how to cope with stress and what resilience looks like to each one of us. And I think we're gonna give you all some keys to finding your own path.
My first one, Dr. Perez, is gonna love this. We're gonna make up your bed, right? When you get up, make up your bed. I know it sounds ridiculous, but some, some of my most stressful moments, I look back at what I've done today and I automatically did something and accomplished something right. When I woke up, which was making my own bed, I have been slacking on it. They're a little recent because I'm in the loft in the fraternity house now.
[00:35:28] Speaker C: Oh, I see.
[00:35:29] Speaker B: So it's kind of hard.
You know, I try to make it look as good as I can.
[00:35:33] Speaker C: Right.
[00:35:33] Speaker B: But I mean, that is a simple, simple way to start your out, start your day out with a win and something to give you to look back on.
The second thing I think I'd say is, you know, you've got to find your own path. And nobody knows what that looks like. And it may take some failures. It May take some accomplishments, but really just use the failures and the accomplishments to see what you do best and how you do it best and keep doing it.
[00:36:01] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. Gosh. Making your bed start the day off right and somehow that just gives the day is some sense of order and accomplishment, doesn't it?
[00:36:10] Speaker B: No doubt.
[00:36:11] Speaker C: If I've done nothing else, at least I've made my bed. Right. Or at least I made it.
[00:36:15] Speaker B: At least you made it something.
[00:36:18] Speaker C: That's right. That's right. Gosh, that's a good one. What about for you? You, Edward?
[00:36:22] Speaker D: I think for me.
[00:36:24] Speaker C: Do you make your bed?
[00:36:25] Speaker D: No.
[00:36:26] Speaker C: Oh, I probably should.
[00:36:27] Speaker B: I probably should.
[00:36:28] Speaker D: I don't.
[00:36:28] Speaker B: We'll send you the. We'll send you the Marine. Talking about you. I'm sure you'll make it up every day after that.
[00:36:34] Speaker C: That's right.
[00:36:34] Speaker D: Oh, man.
[00:36:36] Speaker B: I don't.
[00:36:37] Speaker D: I guess, like, I think it would be. I'll say this. I think asking other people what they do can be important because especially if, like, there's someone you know is similar to you, he's maybe a couple steps ahead of you and just like, you know, in life, what do you do? Like, how do you manage this? Like, we have a very similar personality. Like, you're a couple years older than me. Like, what are. What did. What did you do when you were in my position to get through and get where you are today?
[00:37:04] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:37:05] Speaker D: I think that's one thing. You know, you can learn a lot from other people.
[00:37:08] Speaker C: Sure.
[00:37:08] Speaker D: So just being willing to be like, hey, teach me. I want to learn another one.
I don't know. I mean, I feel like I just.
You kind of gotta. I mean, I guess I'll harken back to the trial and error. I mean, you just gotta figure out oftentimes what works for you by trying it out.
[00:37:33] Speaker C: Right.
[00:37:33] Speaker D: If you don't, you know, you'll never know if you never try. So that's true.
I guess having that assurance of, okay, that did work, or that definitely didn't work, it can be very helpful.
[00:37:45] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah.
I think you do have to find your own way and things that work for you. One of the things you said was in terms of learning from others. And I was wondering, what's the best piece of learning that you received from learning from somebody else in terms of managing or coping with. With stress?
[00:38:08] Speaker D: I think probably my mom. My mom will say this, and I think they're probably.
[00:38:15] Speaker C: She say, make your bed.
[00:38:17] Speaker D: She actually says, clean your whole room.
[00:38:19] Speaker C: Clean your whole room.
[00:38:20] Speaker D: She. Because she'll talk about how when you're in an environment that is very clutter, very messy, that can kind of mess with you subconsciously. You don't even know it. Oh, but if you're in a straight space and everything's kind of neat and orderly.
[00:38:37] Speaker C: Right.
[00:38:37] Speaker D: It kind of. It helps you flow better, you're less stressed, you're kind of fighting other things. Is easier to kind of function in an environment that's very together.
[00:38:49] Speaker C: Yeah, no, I can. I can echo that. I know that there are times when I'm stressed and I can tell when I'm stressed because there are parts of my house that are cluttered. And I look at it and it stresses me out more. And the first thing I do is let's get rid of the clutter.
Let's do laundry or vacuum and make the bed or something like that. But I think there's a lot to making sure that your environment is as decluttered as it needs to be and that you don't get stress from your own environment.
You know, one of the things that for me has been helpful has been to be able to recognize when I need to take a step back from the stress and to realize, you know, what it is that's stressing me. And then also, if it's something, if it's a situation in which I faced before, then having the confidence and remembering that, oh, this is. Is not a new situation and here's the way that I've handled it well before, or if it's a new situation, trying to apply different things and sort of trial and error.
But also, you know, asking, asking friends that, you know, what have they done to help them in this situation? I think there's a lot of being able to lean on others. I think, like we've all talked about that can help us in this, you know, in managing stress and building resilience. Because, you know, in the end, it's about coping well with stress and I think also building the resilience needed to face other stressors that come our way because, you know, in the end, you can't really predict all the stresses that you'll be. Be faced with, whether they be exams or other stresses. But knowing that you have a way that you can address, you know, your stress through coping and ways you can build resilience is. Is going to be important, I think. Yeah.
So a lot of great stuff I think today. And, you know, if anything, make your beds and get some rest and drink.
[00:41:06] Speaker B: Some water, bed, get some rest, talk to professors, see if they have any information on what you can do because they do know their class better than you and other students do so and talk to other students. You know, be a light in these weeks when things get heavy. So my name is Brooks Barbary and.
[00:41:27] Speaker C: I'm Dr. Tony Perez.
[00:41:29] Speaker D: And I'm Edward Fountain and this has.
[00:41:30] Speaker B: Been the Bama Balance Real stories about College Men Mental Health thank you.
[00:41:51] Speaker A: This show was not intended as a substitute for professional counseling. Further, the views, opinions and conclusions expressed by the show hosts or their guests are their own and not necessarily those of the University of Alabama, its officers or trustees. Any views, opinions or conclusions shared on the show do not create a relationship between the host or any guest and any listener, and such a relationship should never be inferred. If you feel you are in need of professional mental health and are a UA student, please contact the UA Counseling center at 348-3863. If you are not a UA student, please contact your respective counties crisis service hotline or their local mental health agency or insurance company. If it is an emergency situation, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
